Law And Order: SVU One Shots

Letters to Olivia: Before The Letters

"We aren't going to lose her! Sometimes women bleed, I think."

"You think? That doesn't help me in this matter!" Olivia screamed.

"Getting upset isn't going to help! Come on, let's get going!"

///

On the way to the hospital, Olivia was bleeding more. Elliot would look over, and as she squeezed onto his hand through the contractions, he'd see the scarlet blood soaking into the towel.

Once they arrived, Elliot ran in and got a nurse, and when they got out into the car, Olivia had gotten sick and was moaning from the pain.

"Oh, love." Elliot whimpered, and Olivia frowned as she looked at him.

"I'm sorry I got sick."

"Don't apologize. Uh, let's get you out."

Elliot helped the nurse get Olivia out of the car, and then Elliot stood by the car and started to cry.

Olivia never complains about pain, and if she got sick, the pain must be more intense than he had thought. He knew that labor was supposed to be hard, but he didn't expect her to start bleeding and be in that much pain.

"Elliot!" Olivia cried, and Elliot quickly grabbed the hospital bag and went sprinting into the hospital.

///

Elliot held onto his wife's hand as she continued to cry through the pain. But as it got closer to the end of her labor, and their daughter's arrival got closer, Elliot could see his wife slowly fading. The doctors couldn't figure out where the blood was coming from, and they were too scared to take her into surgery for an emergency c-section because if she was bleeding a lot right now, she might bleed even more.

"Oh, come on baby. Just a little longer." Elliot breathed, as he caressed Olivia's hair. She was sweating and moaning. She couldn't even speak any longer, and Elliot wanted to go and make calls to their family so they could be here just in case, but he couldn't take himself away from her bedside.

"El." Olivia breathed, and Elliot looked at her.

"Livvie?" Elliot whispered as he sat down next to her. Doctors and nurses were running in and out of the room, as they prepared themselves for what may come soon. The baby was well on her way, but Olivia was well on her way out.

"I love you." She whispered as she opened her eyes only enough to look at him. She took a shaky hand and gently touched his cheek before starting to moan through another pain.

"Oh, I love you too, baby. Please hold on. Please. We can't live without you."

///

Olivia hemorrhaged after their daughter was born, and as she crashed, Elliot refused to leave her side. The doctors tried to stop the bleeding, but as they rushed her to the OR, she bled out in the elevator. Elliot felt lost as he watched from the hall as her doctor pulled the sheet up over her beautiful face. He wiped a few tears from his cheeks, before turning to look at the nurses who were cleaning up his daughter in the room she was born in.

"Mr. Stabler?" One asked, and Elliot swallowed hard as he walked towards them.

"Is she okay?" He asked as he ran his hand over the back of his neck.

"She's perfect. Do you want to hold her?"

The question was simple, but it was the start of Elliot's life without his wife. He was now going to raise his daughter without her.

"Y-yeah."

Elliot sat in the rocking chair in the corner of the room, as a janitor came in and started to mop the blood off of the floor. Elliot looked at his daughter and caressed her cheek as she slept, swaddled up in the soft pink hospital blanket.

Elliot's daughter was beautiful. Her hair was brown, the same brown that Elliot loved on his wife. Her eyelashes were long and rested on her cheeks. She looked like an angel and one that Elliot had to figure out the perfect name for.

"Sir, we are so sorry for your loss. Would you feel more comfortable in one of our family rooms? It's a waiting room, but we can clear it out and give you and your family some space."

"Uh, I have to call some people."

"Why don't you give me those numbers, and I'll call them for you. Just enjoy your daughter."

///

Elliot sat in the family room with his daughter cradled in his arms. He had saw Olivia and gave her one last kiss. No matter if she was dead or alive, he needed to, because she is his one true love. Now he has a little girl who he needs to teach about her amazing mother.

"Elliot?" Amanda sniffled, as he came into the family room. Elliot didn't even look at her. He grabbed her hand when she sat next to him, and then he spoke.

"I named her Olivia. I don't know why, but it was the only name that can suit this beautiful of a baby. Olivia Amanda Stabler. Olivia wanted her to have your name as her middle name, no matter what her first name is. And she wants you to be her godmother. Well, you and Alex. It may be two women, but you two are her best friends." Elliot breathed, as he finally looked up from his daughter.

Amanda was sobbing at this point, and Elliot wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close.

"I can't believe she's gone." Amanda whimpered.

"I can't either," Elliot spoke, as he started to sob too. 

He had a long road ahead of him. He had to bury his soulmate, raise his daughter, and try to feel alive again. The last one was impossible. He'd never feel alive again, not the way Olivia made him feel alive. But maybe his daughter would help. He could teach her about her mother, and she'd teach him how it felt to be loved again.

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