Finally Caught You, Flea

Guilt

"You destroy everything you touch."

That had been what the flea said.

It tore Shizuo apart because he believed it to be true.

That was the main reason why he blew up like he did. The reason why he said those things. He knew how the flea had that god complex, and how badly it would affect the raven when he finds out that his enemy saw him at his most vulnerable. Even if he deserved it. Of course he was going to pull a knife out on him. And Shizuo had to leave before he throttled the flea to death. It would've been so easy with the flea being sick too...

Wait...

SHIT!

When he left the flea, he was planning on going home. His home. Not the flea's. But now he is just realizing his mistake, and began making his way back to where he left the flea.

First of all, the flea is sick and unable to properly defend himself. And second of all, he kind of wondered of the flea's state of mind after being told that he was seen crying, by Shizuo of all people.

"You destroy everything you touch."

This little sentence caused Shizuo to stop in his tracks again.

Why should I help the flea when he has always treated me like absolute shit?

"You can't even get close to others without worrying about killing them."

The flea has always caused problems for me.

"...a stupid beast as yourself..."

"Stupid protozoan."

"...such a dangerous monster, huh, Shizu-chan~?"

But...

"FUCK!!!!"

With that the blonde dropped to his knees and punched the ground out of anger, leaving a large hole in the cement.

He was angry, but for once, he was not angry at the flea this time.

He was angry at himself.

He was angry at himself for having all these confusing thoughts.

Should he help the flea?

Does the flea even need his help?

He is probably fine. Maybe a little pissed off at the moment, but fine nonetheless.

Right?

It's the flea's fault anyway, it always is. From the very first moment he met him, he knew he was no goo-

Shizuo froze.

...No...

...

...From the very first time...

...Before I ever gave him the chance...

The very first thing I did was say how he pissed me off, and then I attacked him.

...

The very first time I met him, I knew he was no good.

How many times have people thought that way, or just flat out said exactly that to me?

Before they ever tried to talk to me?

Before they ever tried to get to know me?

...All because I was strong?

And that was when Shizuo Heiwajima changed his mind, and decided to start over with the flea.

He would never forget what the flea has done to him, but he also won't let himself forget that it was he who never tried to be on good terms with the raven in the first place.

After all, he knew all too well what it felt like to be pushed away without ever being given a chance.

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Fuck! Where is he?!?!

The debt collector has made his way to Izaya's apartment, only to find no sign of the flea. He also looked in the area around the building to see if the flea has been just a little slow at walking or something because he was sick, and that was why he wasn't there.

Shizuo was tired of bullshitting himself with lies.

He had a bad feeling.

He kept looking anyway. He looked in stores, on busy walkways, even back to Russia Sushi. All with no sign of the flea. Then he began on the maze of alleyways. He was beginning to lose hope when he spotted something out of the corner of his eye, it was a bag. But not just any bag.

It was a bag from Russia Sushi.

Knowing how much Izaya loved ootoro, there was no way that Shizuo would believe, even for a second, that he would just leave it here for the rats. And then Shizuo looked up and saw two more objects that made his heart stop.

Izaya's beloved switchblade,which he would never leave behind, the same blade that was still stained a little with Shizuo's blood. There was that and a rag, which he picked up with dread. After taking a whiff, it confirmed the use of chloroform. After another look at the rag, he realized it actually looked kind of familiar. He saw a lot of these rags in piles somewhere, when he and Tom was out collecting debt. He remembered it because Tom had made a joke about buying a few for Shizuo when he got bloody from fighting.

Shizuo closed his eyes, trying to remember just where exactly he saw the rags.

That was when his mind clicked.

He picked up both the rag and the knife and began his way towards his destination.

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I do not own Durarara!!or any images used.