Cynica: The Love Story of Erica Mena & Cyn Santana

Chapter 14: Cynister Unleashed

Erica: You didn't fuck up anything. You just went through the ringer and I know what its like. I've been through it all. I fucked up my relationship a few time with my wife and what kept me from acting like a bitch is the fact that she loves me more than I love myself. You gotta use that love to keep you going. Let your husband love you the way no one else can but him.

Karyn: I do want him to love me and hold me its just that I get scared sometimes and have flashbacks. How do I get back to that?

Erica: By letting him love you like he used to. He thinks you don't love him no more and its really killing him inside to know that he wasn't there to protect you.

Karyn: I don't want him to think that. I love him more than anything in life.

Erica: You gotta set up a night to show him that y'all still have the same spark y'all had before.

Karyn: Ok, you're right about that. Thanks for the talk.

Erica: You're welcome. Now go get your husband back.

*They hugged and Karyn left.*

Cyn

  When I left the house I went to the Ave to meet up with Mike. When I arrived he was sitting on the bench. He looked like he was losing his way in life. His clothes and shoes was grungy looking and he haven't shaved in days. I can tell that this was hitting him hard. I walked over to him and he looked up at me with tears in his eyes. The sight of him almost made me cry.

Cyn: Damn, man, we gotta fix you up.

Mike: For who? My wife won't care. She just walks around like the world is over. I'm still her husband and I'm still trying to love her. But why am I trying when she's not?

Cyn: You try because its all you can do. You do it because you are wanting to take away the pain. You try because you know that the woman you love with all your heart is still there. You try because you don't want to feel like less of a man for not being there. You try because its all you have left in you. I've been where you are and I didn't think trying work but if you would have told me then that I would still be happily in love with the love of my life now, I would have laughed in your face and called you a liar. We try because giving up is admitting defeat. Look at me, you keep trying and ask yourself this. Do I love her more than breathing? If your answer is yes, then you keep trying because I promise you that, it will get better.

Mike: I do love her more then breathing and its killing me that I couldn't protect her. I should be able to protect my wife from anything that's my job as a cop, to protect and serve. How can I continue to be a cop if I can't even protect my wife?

Cyn: I know that being a cop made you see the world different, but at this point you shouldn't be beating yourself up thinking as a cop you need to think as her husband. You will not be there to protect her all the time the world is just fucked up like that. Bad shit will happen whether you like it or not, its more than one force working against us. All we can do is take bullshit as it comes and deal with the aftermath as it leaves. Just go home and fix things with your wife but first we are gonna fix you up.

Mike: Ok, thanks so much for everything. And thanks a million for watching Amy for us. We will be back to get her real soon.

Cyn: You're welcome and she's fine you fix your marriage first.

*They walked into the barber shop and the clothing store. Cyn didn't know that a camera man was following her. They parted ways after they left the clothing store.*

Erica

  I was sitting at home waiting for Cyn to get here. After all this shit with Mike and Karyn, I just wanna see my baby. I went and got in the shower so I can put on clothes. Since the kids are in school we can start to plan our wedding. We've been so busy that we haven't had a chance to do that. We return to New York soon for the show. I got out the shower and Cyn was still not here so I got dressed and laid on the couch to watch TV. I looked at my phone and no missed calls or texts. I turned the TV on and just watched a movie on HBO.