Numb. It was absolutely freezing but I was so numb I hardly noticed that it was making me shudder uncontrollably. The pavement was damp from the late night rain and the smell of dirt was immense. The spot in front of me was a darkish red. From his blood. No one saw it coming. No one could stop it from happening. No one thought that Dallas Winston would actually bite the bullet.
I thought about the expression on his face right before he took his last breath. We made eye contact and he looked so sorry and full of regret. He mouthed my name and then...he was gone. He was just so full of hate and anger and confusion and so many other emotions that he mustn't have been able to think straight. He knew that I was there for him. Johnny Cade was not the only person who cared for him... but perhaps, even though he has told me hundreds of times the amount of love he felt for me, that the only thing Dally loved was Johnny.
"I loved you! You goddamn idiot, I loved you so fucking much!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as more sobs escaped my lips. Why'd he have to go and leave me like that? It was basically suicide. Why didn't he tell me he wasn't happy. Why didn't he tell me without Johnny he couldn't function. I had thought I knew everything about him.
I continued to sit in the exact spot I had fallen when Dally took his last breath. "Y/N?" A comforting voice said from behind me. I turned my head to see an exhausted Darry looking down at me with a blanket and jacket. I just turned my head back to the way I was and didn't say anything back. "Ya know it's gonna be dawn soon y/n," Darry said, walking over to me and kneeling down.
I kept my head down and felt tears steaming in the corners of my eyes. "You gotta talk to me eventually." He said and wrapped the blanket around me. I didn't move. Darry went to stand up, letting out a disappointed sigh. "It's hurts." I said, barely audible. Darry knelt back down and looked at me.
"I know." Is all he said and pulled me Into his shoulder, where I broke down. "What hurts the most is that he couldn't live without Johnny, but he didn't think about the fact that I can't live without him Darry!" I cried. Darry wiped away my tear stained cheeks.
"He loved you y/n, I promise you. He never acted the way he did around you with anyone, in fact, one night a few months ago he came and sat me aside and asked me about love, and he described all his feelings for you and how exciting it was and how much he genuinely wanted a future with you. I've never heard Dally talk like that before y/n. So don't for a second think that he didn't care or that he didn't realize in that split second he saw you what he just lost, what he threw away. In that split second I know he wished he could take back every second he had lived since Johnny died, because he realized in that moment, he couldn't live without you either," Darry rambled on, and it was rather comforting.
I looked at Darry then slowly stood up. "I forgive him." I smiled and held onto Darry as he helped me walk home.
A/N: sorry that ending sucked. Idk the point of this imagine, I just kinda got bored and rambled off with my writing.