my best friend....//Trinity Rodman

Chapter 61

Trinity's POV

I didn't stand there for too long, I got into my car and followed Katie home. 

"I love you, Trinity Rodman." 

Those words bounced around in my head for the whole drive home, and she tried to quickly get into the building before I could, but I caught up. 

"What?" She said, turning around. 

"Why are you mad at me? You're the one that kissed me, told me you loved me, and then just fucking left!" I replied. 

"No. I'm mad at myself. I know you're over me. Done with me. But I did it anyway, because I needed one last confirmation you still felt the same as you did when you rejected me in the hospital, and clearly you do." 

"How?" I asked as she repeatedly clicked the button to get the elevator. "How could you possibly know that?" 

"You hesitated before kissing me, then you gave in, but suddenly stopped, as if you had a realization. I don't need you to tell me anything." 

"Katie." I said as we both stepped into the elevator. "You're so quick to assume." 

"So are you gonna tell me otherwise?" 

"No...I mean....no but-" 

"You're not, just like I thought. You were gonna make up some lame excuse and hope I'd take it." 

"You're being irrational, Katie." 

"But I'm not." She stepped out of the elevator and I followed her down the hallway to our apartment. 

"You're icing me out for no good reason. You're jumping to conclusions. You just need to listen-" 

"I don't need to listen, Trinity, because you're gonna give me a million excuses I don't feel like hearing." Katie opened the door and walked into the apartment, putting down her purse. 

She was completely right. I had nothing except excuses. 

"And honestly, as long as you're happy, I'm happy. You just need to really find that out. And I can't help you with that" She looked at me, her eyes softened as soon as our eyes met. "So if you decide you're happy, good. But if you decide the opposite....I'll be here." 

She went to her room, walking right past Dev, who I had no idea was standing there. 

"What did you do?" She asked, turning to put the baby in the pack n play. 

"I didn't do anything." 

"I could hear you two yelling from down the hallway." 

"You're just like her. Always jumping to conclusions." 

"What's on your mind? What happened while you left me and Kennedy alone on the phone?" 

"I found her in the coffee shop." 

"You texted us that." 

"And as we left, she kissed me." 

"I love you, Trinity Rodman." 

"And she told me she loved me." I started to tear up. "And apparently, something about my actions broke her heart. I have no idea what to do, Dev. I don't know how to deal with this." 

"Well I heard her ask you if you were happy." Devon pointed to the chair across from her at the table. "Is that something you can tell me now, or is it something you have to evaluate?" 

I tapped my fingers on the table and chewed on my lip. 

Dev leaned in, folding her hands and resting her head on them. 

"Are you happy?" 

I just stared back at her. 

"Even on the sunniest days, it's raining." 

"Why's it raining?"

"Katie." I said quietly. 

"How so?" 

"I still love her, Dev. But I have no idea if-" 

"You've gotta tell her!" Dev jumped up. 

"Dev...." I said, grabbing her hand and pushing her back down. "I don't know if it's the best idea." 

"Why not?" 

"She's already got such a messed up life, and some of it is because of me." I said, dropping my head in my hands. "We hooked up the night before she was supposed to get married."

Devon was silent. 

I can't imagine what was going through her head honestly.

But around me, it felt like the world exploded, I shared my worst, dirtiest secret, which also happened to be Katie's. There's no turning back now. Damage is done. 

Dev moved her lips as if trying to find words, but they wouldn't come out. 

I stared down at the table, picking at my fingernails. 

"I only rejected her so many times because the rumors were so bad, Dev. For Katie's sake, I can't let them turn out to be true. There was so much speculation, so much video footage, so much everything. I had to save it all for her. People can hate me all they want, I don't give two shits. I just don't want that for Katie." I said, a tear rolling down my cheek and hitting the table, then another, than another. 

"Trin, can't you see that clearly means nothing to her!" Dev put her hand on my shoulder and shoved me to get me to look at her. "She loves you so much. She doesn't care what other people think. She couldn't care less." 

Dev got up and headed to her room, leaving me alone with the baby. 

I walked into the living room and to the pack n play where Abby was. 

Though she was so young, I still saw so much Katie in her. The big blue eyes, the little blonde hair, even the dimples in her smile. Beautiful, just like her mom. 

I took her out and just held her for a minute. She looked up at me and I melted. I thought about all those offers from other clubs Katie got after her world class performance in the championship, and I realized that I had no idea if she actually turned them down. So at any point, she could just announce she's leaving, she could pack herself and her daughter up and literally move to Italy. I thought about how that would mean we'd lose touch, and I'd lose the best friend I'd ever had, because she'd probably find someone better. I'd get to see Abby grow up through Instagram stories and occasional texts, maybe if we ever played each other or if she were to get called up to the national team again. 

That would be unbearable. 

Abby suddenly started crying, and I bounced her a little bit to calm her down. 

"Shhh. We have to let mommy be for a little bit." I whispered. "I messed up her whole life. I know you don't like the sound of that, but I promise I'll fix it. I promise, Abby. That's my promise to you. I'll always make you and your mama happy." 

She stopped crying, and I looked up to check the time, but instead I saw Katie standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall, smiling. 

I smiled back at her a little bit, and she came over. 

"Say cheese!" She took a picture of me holding the baby, catching me off guard. 

Then she sat down on the couch, and I sat next to her. She put her head on my shoulder and within seconds she was asleep. I adjusted the baby and put my head on Katie's, not realizing how exhausted I was.

Sure we're both young and stupid, but after everything we've gotten through together, I think we can make it work.  

--

sorry that updates on all of my books are slow, i've got a lot on the brain right now and mental health isn't great. but i hope you enjoyed this chapter! this book is starting to come to a close, i think it's time. thanks so much for all the support on this story and make sure to go check out my others, new ones coming soon :)