my best friend....//Trinity Rodman

Chapter 44

Devon's POV

"Hey! You can't look prettier than the bride!" Katie laughed once Trinity was changed into her dress. "Not allowed." 

"Shut up." Trinity laughed. 

I sighed and looked at Katie, who had a sad look on her face. 

I couldn't deal with it anymore, I couldn't handle being in the middle of everything. 

Because I gave Adley my permission to propose, I ruined three people's lives in that split second. 

I shouldn't have lied to him, because now nothing is going to end well. 

"Dev? Are you okay? You look like you're going to throw up." Tara asked, putting her hand on my shoulder. "Dev?" 

"Yeah, I'm gonna throw up." I said, running into the bathroom. 

"Alright, alright. It's okay." She held my hair back. 

"I ruined everything!" I whispered. "I ruined all of their lives. We're here because of me. I ruined everything." 

"How?" She asked softly. 

"I-" I threw up again. "I'm sorry." 

"I got you. Just calm down." 

"I hate this, Tara. I'm guilty for all of it." 

"No you're not." 

"Yes I am. It's entirely my fault." 

"It's not entirely your fault! It's not your fault at all!" 

"Yes it is!" I said, trying not to cry and make my makeup run. 

"Tell me why you think so." Tara put down my hair and played with the ends of it. 

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Katie's POV

"Tell me why you think so." I heard Tara say, and I heard Devon take a deep breath. 

"Well the day he proposed to her, he came to me first. He said that she loves me so much and thinks of me as her sister. He said it was only right to ask me or something. That I'm her favorite person or something like that." 

I felt my eyes start to tear and my mouth hang wide open. 

"And I was a complete idiot and didn't tell him the truth, which might have kept him from actually doing it. Why....why did I do that? Now I ruined her life, his life, Trinity's life and maybe the baby's. I just have no idea what I was thinking. I've ruined everything for all of them and now they're all gonna be miserable." 

I stepped away from the bathroom door and reached into my bag, stepping out into the hallway. 

I took out the papers Trinity had shoved in the bottom of her drawer. Yes, I know about them. No, I haven't read them yet. But I'm about to now. 

He proposed today. I can't believe she said yes. She was going to break up with him the other day. I can't believe this. This isn't right. She doesn't love him. She's leading him on. Maybe I sound selfish, but I can't bear to see them get married. It's not going to work. But I suppress all of this, because I can't lose her as a friend. Having her as a friend is more important to me than anything. I can't lose her, I'll lose myself. So I have to just ignore it all, ignore myself and the people around me telling me to go get her. I've done everything I can. I pretended to date Tara to make her jealous, I've made small but subtle moves, I've literally confessed my love. But none of it will work, and I'm just exhausted. 

I skimmed the others, because for the most part they were similar. Then I came across one that she wrote right before we left for Key Wast. 

I don't know how this is going to go. Katie planned a beyond beautiful wedding in such a short time frame. I don't know how she did it. And as happy as I am for her, there's still sort of a longing feeling, something I can't shake. I feel like it's gotta be there for her too. We stare at each other just a bit too long. 

I read through a few more before putting them away, my tears streaming and my makeup running. 

"Alright Dev. It's okay. Let's go to my room, come on." Tara said, dragging Devon from her room, which was where we were all getting ready. 

"Where-" I started to ask. 

I was cut off by the sound of Devon vomiting all over the bathroom, so I just shook  my head and went back into my room to get my makeup fized. 

Kennedy, Trinity, and Ashley left my room and went downstairs to the beach where the actual ceremony was being held so that I could get the final touches on my makeup, hair and dress, which we were gonna do a bridesmaids first look thing. It was going to essentially be fake because they've already seen 95% of my outfit. 

I realized I was going to need help getting downstairs, so I called Trinity back in because she's my maid of honor. It would be weird if I asked anyone else. 

We took the elevator downstairs in an awkward silence, her holding a million things in her hands. 

"Katie." She said when we got to the lobby. 

I turned around as she was putting her stuff on a random bench. 

"You had the whole elevator ride to talk to me." 

"I know. But I needed free arms." 

"What is it Trinny? Make it quick please." 

"I just wanted to say...." She took a deep breath. "I....this after party better be so good. You deserve it after putting together this whole reception in just a short month and a half." 

"Thanks. I hope it is too." I said, knowing that's not at all what she wanted to say. 

But it's probably better she didn't say it.