Yours

January 13th

Dear Sophia,

I love you. I miss you. Weekends are meaningless without you.

I’m so excited about seeing you. It feels close again. It might be tomorrow. I can feel you close again.

I got through today ok. I just kept telling myself that it’s another day without you out of the way. I keep thinking that maybe you might be back tomorrow. I know it’s easy to convince yourself that something you want is happening but I don’t think I’m doing that. I really think you might be.

You told me you’d be off for a couple of weeks. I remember the exact conversation. I think about it every day. It gets clearer every day because I think about it every day so I’m always remembering new things about it. It’s not just one memory anymore it’s a hundred memories on top of each other.

A couple of weeks is kind of just an expression. It’s just one of those things people say. It could be one week or it could be two or it could be in between. It could always mean your holiday lasts for two weeks or that you’d booked two weeks off work but your holiday was only one week. Or it could mean you left before the weekend so by the time you were back it had crossed over two weeks even though you were actually away for less than that.

I know you were just trying to not make it sound like a big deal by saying it was a couple of weeks. In future though if you’re going away I think it’d be much better if you could tell me the exact dates and times so I don’t have to worry about it.

I’m not angry at you. I’m feeling positive. I feel good about it. Tomorrow I could be with you again. If I said next week I was going away that could mean this Tuesday or the Tuesday after that or anything. It doesn’t really mean anything specific. It’s raining lots today but if I said it was raining cats and dogs it wouldn’t mean cats and dogs were falling out of the sky. People say things that aren’t exact. There’s definitely a chance you’re back tomorrow. Your smile in the picture lets me know I must be right.

I went to Tesco before it closed this afternoon. I remembered to get there before it shut at four. It closes earlier on Sunday. I don’t know why. I got a calendar from near the till and I’ve put it up in my room. It was really cheap. I think people give them as presents for Christmas so after Christmas the prices drop.

I didn’t really choose which one I got I just picked up the front one. It’s got pictures of trees and rivers and stuff like that in it. It’s kind of nice I suppose. I’ll put it back in the kitchen once you’ve moved in so we can both know each other’s schedules.

I’ve written your name under Valentine’s day. I’ve circled it loads of times. That’s the next big occasion. That’s when you’re going to have moved in by. It gives us a date to look forward to and a date we’ll always remember. I’ve done a little countdown coming back from then to let me know how far away it is. It’s thirty three days now. Thirty two really.

All this week I’ve written your name under every day. I’ve put question marks next to it to make sure I’m not too upset if you’re not there. It reminds me that it’s not certain. I shouldn’t think about that now though. I’ve got your photo next to me and it’s telling me we’ll be back together soon. I can see the calendar from my bed too. Now when I’m in bed I can see your face and see how long it is until we’re together again.

I love you.

Yours,

Andrew