Yours

October 8th

I love you.

You look so much more alive than everyone else on a Monday. To be honest I didn’t feel too good this morning. My body was still really tired. The thought of seeing you today got me out of bed.

I got a drink when I got to Starbucks but I still didn’t feel quite right. I was in a bit of a daze. I didn’t even realise how much time had passed until I put my finger in the top of my drink and it was completely cold. I hadn’t even taken a sip yet. I was too distracted by something but I can’t remember what. I think I was just looking out the window.

It’s odd how busy the high street can be on a Monday morning. I didn’t get to Starbucks until around ten but the high street already had this constant supply of people going one way and the other. It’s not even half-term or anything like that as far as I know. I don’t know why everyone isn’t at work. Or at school. Or somewhere. I just don’t know where all these people come from. They all end up looking the same to me. There’s you and then there’s everyone else and everyone else bores me.

Sometimes I stare out the window and try to imagine the lives of everyone walking past. This morning I just couldn’t focus though. I faced the window and must’ve completely switched off. I wasn’t really aware of anything until I felt the cold drink on my finger. That snapped me out of it a bit.

Even when I was more alert I could tell my body wasn’t completely awake. My finger didn’t snap back from the cold mug or anything like that. It just circled around and around and around getting more cold and shriveled. I tried to leave lines in the top of the mug. They disappeared as soon as my finger made them.

My hands were restless without you. My hands felt empty without you. My hands just don’t know what to do when I’m not with you. It’s like there’s no point in having hands if I can’t have you. They just sit there all useless at the end of my arms.

When you came in suddenly everything felt right again. It was so good to see you. It just felt great. My spine woke up and I stopped slouching. My hands felt warm.

When you were in the queue you looked even more beautiful compared to all the pale and boring people around you. You just have this energy nobody else does. You probably made everyone in there have a better day. You definitely made me have a better day. I think the weekend away from you was really getting to me. You totally turned me around.

I love you.

Yours,

Andrew