Yours

January 29th

Dear Sophia,

I love you.

Two days in a row together makes everything feel so much more normal. I think it takes one for me to settle and another for me to feel comfortable again. Once we’re living together I won’t need to worry about that ever again.

I actually managed to sleep for a bit last night. I was still finding it difficult to breathe though. I’m sorry if I still looked really rough today. I don’t want you to worry. I really am feeling better.

When I think about last week it makes me feel uneasy though. I think we have to be really clear with each other about these things. We must tell each other if we’re not going to be somewhere we’re expected to be. We must tell each other where we expect to be and put it on the calendar so we know when we’re not going to be together. We must look after each other when we’re ill.

I wouldn’t think of those as rules because that makes them sound like something forced. I’m not making you do anything and you’re not making me do anything. We just need to stick to these things to make sure we both treat each other with the respect we deserve. We need to do these things to make sure we never accidentally upset each other. We’re so good to each other naturally we don’t really need to worry about it too much. I just think it’s important we both understand how important these things are.

It’s not like being apart from you makes me love you any less. Being apart doesn’t make love go away. When I was at my dad’s funeral and everyone was talking about how much they loved him and stuff like that I thought they can’t really have ever loved him. Feelings like that don’t just stop. That’s not how it works.

That’s the main difference with us. Even when I’m not with you I feel like I love you. I don’t feel complete without you. I need you and you need me. I know I love you and I know you love me.

It’s the not knowing that gets to me Sophia. Not knowing if something terrible has happened. Not knowing if you’re ill. Not knowing when I’m going to see you again. That’s when things aren’t right. That’s why it’ll all be better once you’ve moved in. We’ll be together all the time. We can keep an eye on each other. We’ll never do anything to hurt each other.

I love you.

Yours,

Andrew