Yours

October 21st

Dear Sophia,

I love you. I never know what to do when I’m not with you.

I tried to clean up the house a bit. Usually I just leave everything until I decide I can’t live with the mess anymore. I’m going to start trying to get on top of things like that. I hoovered all the carpets. I found some old sprays under the sink. I used them to wipe all the surfaces in the kitchen and bathroom. Usually I just use water to rinse them off. You can really see the difference.

I don’t remember the last time I actually had a bath but it was still pretty dirty so I cleaned that too. I don’t want you ever coming home from work to a house you don’t like the look of.

Normally I just use the dishwasher and that’s about all I need. You might have different things that bother you so I need to start getting better at everything around the house. I guess the more often you do these things the less difficult it is each time. That’s easy to say though.

Sometimes I think if I shave every day it will only take a second and I’ll keep on top of it. I always end up forgetting for a day or two. Then I end up just leaving it until it gets out of control and I have to hack at it for ages to be able to see my face in the mirror again.

I guess I don’t really care enough about my appearance in general. I just think there’s always other stuff to worry about. That’s another thing I’ll try to work on though I promise. Nobody wants a homeless looking husband.

After I’d done all the cleaning I decided to see if there was anything on T.V. I rarely resort to that. I much prefer going online and choosing what I want to see. I avoided the news. I knew what that would be like. I saw there was some football on. It was England. I have no idea if it was important. I don’t know what makes football important or not important to football fans. It’s never important really.

I don’t care about football and I never cared about England. England is where my mum died. England is where my dad left my mum. England is where I hated school and all the kids were mean. The only good thing to come out of England is you. But we brought ourselves together. It wasn’t England that did it. I don’t want England to beat other countries at some game. I only know when it’s a world cup or something like that because you start noticing all the flags on cars and hanging out windows. I really hate it. The flags just make me think of racists. If anything I want England to lose in big games. All the kids I went to school with were English. They all probably sit at home supporting England. They probably sit in their houses and drink beer and cheer at the screen and yell at the players and think it’s really emotional and dramatic. It’s not. They’re stupid. They don’t realise it doesn’t matter. That’s why I’d prefer it if England lost. I’d rather those people didn’t get what they wanted. I want it to bother them the way they bother me. I want them to realise it doesn’t matter and that getting sad or happy because of a game being played somewhere is stupid. If they can’t realise that then they deserve to be sad. I don’t think people should be proud of England anyway. People walk down the streets scared of each other. They don’t look each other in the eye. They fight at the weekends. No matter how well people did at kicking a ball around they still fight. I want them all to know football doesn’t matter and if they can’t realise that then I want England to lose so they don’t get joy out of something so unimportant. They don’t deserve joy.

I don’t care enough about them losing to sit down and watch it happen though. I turned off the T.V. It was all bad football or bad news. I came upstairs instead. I’ll probably never know what happened in that game or any other one. It’s better that way. What matters is you and that’s why I’m thinking about you.

I love you.

Yours,

Andrew