Yours

October 10th

Dear Sophia,

I love you. I don’t know how today happened. I don’t get how you can hurt me like this. I don’t get how you can be so dismissive. I don’t understand. I love you Sophia.

I felt so good this morning. I woke up and immediately got out of bed. I had loads of energy. Sometimes I wake up and it takes me ages to get out of bed. Sometimes I’m groggy even once I’m up. Sometimes my eyes feel cloudy and my brain takes a while to start working. Sometimes that can last all day.

Today was different. Today I was clean and alert from the second I woke up. I was excited. I couldn’t wait to see you. You knew I couldn’t wait to see you. I don’t know what you were thinking.

I got a drink really early and drank it really quickly because I was so fidgety. I needed to do something with my hands while I waited. I was waiting for you. I was waiting to see you. I was waiting for that burst of extra energy you give me. I was so excited. I was happy and waiting to be even happier. Think about that Sophia. If you were going to sit down with your drink you could have done it with me. We could have spent that time together. You didn’t seem to think of that Sophia. You didn’t seem to care. I don’t know how. You knew I would see. You knew I would. I don’t get why you’d do that. I saw you put your drink down. I saw you look up and smile. I saw him too. Him from yesterday. Him from work. I thought he was a friend. I thought maybe he was helping you get settled at work. I thought it was ok because you were sensible enough not to let anyone take advantage of you. I warned you to be careful Sophia. You can’t trust men. Men like him are sleazy and will use you any way they can to get what they want. We both know what men like him are after. We both know he doesn’t really care about you. I watched you chatting to each other and thought maybe you were waiting for another colleague to come. I thought maybe it was just a work thing. But it wasn’t that at all. That wasn’t what was going on. You wanted to be nice and cosy with him. Just him. I saw what happened Sophia. I saw it all. I saw him put his hand on top of your hand. I saw you smile at him. I saw his ugly rough hand touch your beautiful pale hand. That was the time Sophia. That was when you should have pulled your hand away. That was when you should have warned him. But you didn’t. You let it sit there. I saw it Sophia. I saw everything.

One day you’ll realise how unfair you’ve been. How disloyal you’ve been. I know you’ll be sorry for this. I know you know this isn’t right. This isn’t how things should be. This isn’t how things are going to be. I know you’ll apologize to me and you know I’ll forgive you. That doesn’t make it right though. I know it won’t matter in the end but that doesn’t make it right.

I love you.

Yours,

Andrew