Yours

December 2nd

Dear Sophia,

I love you.

I feel really calm this weekend. Something about this week has made me really relaxed. I feel really in control of things.

I can’t always sit down to watch films in full because I get distracted or restless or just can’t get into them because of how much like films they seem. Today I could relax and sit down for a couple of hours easily though.

I just finished watching American Psycho. It was on and wasn’t going to finish too late so I thought I’d give it a go. I’d heard lots about it before. Some people said it was really gruesome and some people said it was a bit meaningless and some people said it was scary. I’ve never read the book and have even less reason to now I’ve seen the film.

It’s a funny film. Not in a laugh out loud kind of way. It’s just funny. I guess I wasn’t completely sucked into it because the whole time I knew I was watching a film. That made it interesting though. What’s funny about watching films is that the first guy you see becomes the good guy. Even if he’s not a nice person you kind of become attached to them for no reason. I wonder if that’s why some people are so attached to their parents. It doesn’t matter what they’re like it’s just they were the first people they ever saw so they became really attached to them.

I thought it was good they didn’t make out the main guy to be a good guy though. You were following him but he was doing all these bad things. Because he’s the main character though it doesn’t seem as bad. Killings and things like that become normal in films. It’s not like real life at all. If nobody dies for a whole film and then someone dies at the end and the sad music plays it’s a tragedy but if people are dying all along for the whole film people don’t cry every time someone dies.

The film wasn’t quite as shocking as I thought it would be. I’m not really a fan of gory films at all but this wasn’t that bad. You can see things on the internet much worse than what you see in films. I normally find it really hard to get images of gory things out of my head after I see them so I try to avoid them. Maybe I deliberately get distracted during films just in case something horrible happens.

When the film ended and I turned off the T.V I felt a bit lonely again. When I was watching the film there was noise to make it feel like I wasn’t alone with my thoughts. When it went off the room felt really quiet but my head was still going and I felt a bit odd. I still feel calm though. I still feel good about everything.

I love you.

Yours,

Andrew