Yours

November 4th

Dear Sophia,

I love you. I miss you. I don’t know what I used to do with my weekends before we met. They always feel so empty without you. I guess I used to do the same sorts of things it’s just now I know I could be with you instead. Everything feels awful compared to being with you.

I’ve started putting the T.V on more and more to try and distract myself. It doesn’t really work because if I like something I want to show it to you and if I don’t like something then I just miss you even more.

I tried to watch some comedy this evening. I thought it might cheer me up. It didn’t. When you’re waiting for something to make you laugh it doesn’t really work because you’re expecting it to make you laugh. Maybe most people just find really unfunny things funny.

I don’t know if people really do like the things they have on T.V. I think sometimes people feel pressure to like things because they think everyone else likes them. Maybe the only way to find out whether you really like something is to watch it on your own.

The first thing they had on was a sitcom I’d never seen before. I know sometimes things are better when you’re already a bit familiar with them but I don’t think this one would ever grow on me. You could see all the jokes coming a mile off. It took me a couple of minutes to work out whether I’d actually seen it before or not. It was that predictable. It was just people falling over and saying stupid things while the audience laughed like idiots or a tape of an audience laughing like idiots was played over the top.

I don’t think it’s funny when people get hit with a frying pan or fall through a gap in a bar or walk into lamp posts. I think it’s mean to laugh at someone getting hurt. If I was walking down the street and I tripped and hurt myself and somebody laughed that wouldn’t be fair. Just because it’s on T.V doesn’t make it better.

Once when I was little I was running into the house and tripped over the doormat and skidded in the hallway and fell on my knees. My mum laughed. Then she picked me up and pretended she was worried I’d hurt myself. I’d heard her laugh though. That was her first reaction. Laughing is meant to be a fun thing and if she enjoyed laughing at me falling over it meant secretly a bit of her was always hoping I might fall over.

There was this other show with live comedians on it. It was a show where a comedian came out and told a few jokes and introduced another comedian who did a few jokes and then introduced another one. This happened over and over for a while. They all seemed to be friends with each other. It made me think all you have to do to be on T.V is be friends with the right people.

All the jokes were about really normal things. They were just listing things that happen in their house and things like that. Everyone laughed like it’s really funny to be told what goes on in their own living room or kitchen. I don’t really get that. If things that happen at home are that funny then I guess these people go home and laugh at everything that happens to them because just being told about it seemed enough to make them laugh.

That’s not what I find funny. I find it difficult to laugh at things that are trying hard to be funny. It all just seems really desperate. Maybe I was just a bit grumpy this evening because I’d have rather been with you. Seeing you makes me happy. Being with you makes me smile. I don’t need T.V shows like most people do. I don’t need the T.V to bring happiness into my days because you can do that for me.

I love you.

Yours,

Andrew