Dear Sophia,
I love you. I love you. I’m so tired. I’m just really really tired. I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense. I can’t settle right. I just feel nervous but not about anything. I don’t even know if I feel good or bad about today. I just want to go to sleep.
Seeing you did help a bit. I know it did. I don’t want you thinking you didn’t help. Seeing you was like a blast of sun through a fog. Now I’m home again though it’s dawning on me that I don’t have you for the next couple of days. I’m on my own. I’m all on my own. I’m just getting more and more worried because all I need is you and I don’t have you and all I need is sleep and I know I won’t be able to sleep.
I was up all night again. I just couldn’t sleep again. The noise was too much for me. I started to think maybe if I could work out what every single noise was then I’d be able to relax a bit. It didn’t work. One drop of rain doesn’t sound the same as the next one. I don’t know if there was one dog outside or a hundred dogs. Every bark was different. Every noise sounded like something completely new and scary.
If I can’t see you then I just feel completely helpless. I feel like I’m slumped on the floor feeling groggy and the world is just jabbing me whenever it wants. It’s not my fault. I don’t know why I feel like this. I just want to see you and I can’t. That doesn’t seem fair. It’s not fair.
It was pretty empty today and I could feel everyone looking at me. It’s not my fault I looked so tired. You were in and out pretty quickly. I hope it’s because the place was empty and not because you didn’t want to be with me when I looked so bad. I know I need to sort myself out a bit. I’m sorry. I’m just struggling. It’s just really difficult. I could have done with seeing you for longer today. I think that really would’ve helped me.
I’m not moaning though. I don’t want you to think I want pity. I don’t. I’m just really confused and lost. I feel like the world is spinning and my head is spinning but not in the same direction. I just need to sleep and I just need to see you and I can’t have either of those things.
I love you.
Yours,
Andrew
YOU ARE READING
Yours
RandomAndrew is fresh out of university. He has a reasonable education and a reasonable degree to show for it. With his mother passing shortly before his graduation, Andrew returns home to find the house he grew up in empty. Andrew does not have family an...
