Imagine #22: Amnesia

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I'm listening to "Amnesia" by 5SOS. And this one is based on that song. It's honestly so beautiful! Go listen to it first, then read this, okay? :'(

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Your POV

Kendall and I have been dating for six years. We're great together. We loved each other mor than anything. Yes, we've had problems, but we got through them. We talked to each other, we worked things out.

But for the past few weeks, things have gotten way out of hand. We can't stay in the same room for more than five minutes without yelling at each other. Both of us think that the other is a part of their problem, even if they're not.

I don't know what's wrong with us.

I was in the living room when the front door opened and I looked up. Kendall.

I smiled.

Even if we're cranky these days, we still love each other. Well, atleast I do.

"Kendall!" I exclaimed and jumped up to hug him over the shoulders.

"Hey, babe." He muttered.

"How was your day?" I asked

He pushed me away.

"Okay." He said

"Something wrong?" I asked politely. I had no intention of starting another fight.

"Y/N, we need to talk." He said sitting down.

"O-okay." I said and sat down beside him.

"Do you still love me?" He asked

"Yes, I do. Of course I do. But- why?"

He was silent.

"Do you still love ME?" I asked

"I don't know." He mumbled. "We were so good together. I don't know what went wrong. I- I just don't know anything any more." He said and pressed his palms into his eyes.

"K-Kendall?" I moved his hands away.

His eyes were red, and full of sadness.

"Kendall!" I sobbed, breaking down myself.

He stood up.

"I'm sorry." He whispered looking down.

I stood up too.

"No. No, please no. Kendall don't do this to me."

"I'm sorry."

"Kendall..I love you. I still do. I promise I'll try to do better, I swear I will." I said blinking hard.

He turned around and rubbed his eyes.

"Kendall, no!" I said trying to turn him around.

He stood there. Solid as stone.

I walked in front of him.

"Kendall."

He looked up, his face shining with tears.

I kissed him, he pushed me away.

"Kendall, please no. No, please." I sobbed as I tried to kiss him again. Trying to show him I still love him. That I'm ready to do anything for him.

He pushed me away again, I tried again and then maybe he gave up and cupped my face in his hands and did kissed me back.

Tears kept rolling down, and I pulled away and hugged him tightly. Not willing to let go, holding on to him, he's my world, my everything, this can't be happening.

We stood there for I don't know how long, then he pulled away.

I sniffled.

"I'm sorry." He whispered again.

-MONTHS LATER-

It all feels so wrong. It's like a twisted dream. The pictures that he sent me, are still living in my phone I'll admit I like to see them, I'll I admit I feel alone.

I haven't seen him in so long. I miss him so much. I still love him.

I still check up on him on Twitter, being the only source. He seems happy. But is he? Or is he faking it all? Because he always said I was what made him happy. How is still able to keep that perfect smile on his face? Why isn't he broken?

Because if what we had was real, how could he be fine?

I remember how it felt to fall sleep next to him, and to wake up every morning in his tight embrace. The smile on his face when he saw me coming home from work. The laugh that used to make everything so much better. And then the day came.

I remember the day he left me. Without even teling me what was wrong. Okay, we were cranky, but we hadn't had a fight that morning. What suddenly happened that made him chnage his mind?

I think of him every second of every day. I can't forget him. I just can't.

And a day doesn't go by that I don't miss him.

I sat down on a bench in the park, opened my phone, and scrolled throught our pictures.

His smile, his eyes...everything. And then a oice interrupted me.

"Oh look it's Y/N. Kendall Schmidt's ex. Bitch. How could she even think of breaking his heart?"

Rage such as I had never felt before ran through me. My blood boiled. Do they think I was the one who did it? Do they think it was me, that came home crying?

"YES!" I leapt up. "I AM BITCH BECAUSE I COULD NOT KEEP HIM HAPPY! BECAUZE I COULD NOT LOVE HIM ENOUGH! BECAUS I COULDN'T PLEASE HIM AS MUCH AS HE WANTED TO BE! I'M A BITCH BECAUSE I TRIED MY BEST AND FAILED. I AM A AN ASS BECAUSE I LET HIM LEAVE ME ALL THOSE MONTHS AGO! I AM A BITCH BECAUSE I LET HIM DOWN! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!"

They left as I flopped down on the bench and let the tears fall. Sometimes, I just wish I'd wake up with amnesia, and forget about these stupid little things.

After hearing that, you might say I hate him. No. I don't. I hate myself. How could I let him leave? How the hell did it even happen?

Please, someone please, say it was just a dream, and I'll wake up right next to him.

I'll hold him closer than I ever did before, and he'd never slip away.

I closed my eyes and rested my head on the back of the bench, and let the tears flow.

I wondered why haven't I run out of tears yet. Why can't I just forget him?

"I'm sorry too, Kendall." I whispered. "I love you. I still do. I always will. I promise."

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