Azalea sat leaned back in a chair in the cafeteria, looking at her food, or whatever it was the school served, in disappointment when she suddenly heard Eddie's voice, "Hey, Grace. Meatloaf and peas — Nice."
"Is this flirting or just an observation" Azalea whispered to Jack who was watching the scene too. But instead of responding he just cracked a small smile.
"You know what I do?" Eddie asked, "Sometimes I take my corn nibblets and — Will you go out with me."
"Smooth."
"No" Grace said.
"Well, now you don't get to find out what I do with my corn nibblets" Eddie said casually before walking towards their table.
"Dude" Jerry, who was behind him said, "you gotta let it go with Grace, man. You're just not her type."
"What's her type?" Eddie asked.
"You know, guys that do things big. The type of guy that stand out in a crowd" Jerry explained.
"Hello? Have you seen my new scarf? It looks like a snake" Eddie said confidently.
"There are good and bad ways to stand out in a crowd, honey" Azalea told him as the two sat down by their table.
"What's that smell?" Milton asked sniffing the air.
"It smells like actual food" Kim said.
"This is the school cafeteria" Jack snorted, "It's no place for actual food" he demonstrated it by turning his place upside down but the food was like glued to it and didn't fall of.
"I'm sure the kitchen staff do their best. It can't be easy to cook for hundreds of picky teenagers" Azalea defended them, not because she liked the food but because she didn't want to be mean.
"Then please, take a bite" Jack took a piece of his food on his fork and waved it around her face.
"I'm not that hungry" she said and in that exact moment her stomach decided to ruin it by growling, "Shut up."
"It's them" Milton said and they turned to look at the food that got served to the football players table. "Here we go. The start of football season."
"Look at them with their prime rib" Jerry said bitterly, "They think they're so much better than us. Ooh, I'm going to go ask that guy if I can eat his fat."
"Sit down" Kim grabbed her by his sweater and slammed him back down to the chair when he tried to get up.
"You know, their quarterback just moved away" Eddie said, "and they're holding tryouts to find a replacement."
"Nice I guess" Kim said and they all went back to picking through their food.
"Wait a minute" Milton exclaimed in realisation, "I think we all know there's someone sitting right at this table that could replace him."
"If I have to. I mean, come on."
"Well, I guess I could. I got muscles."
"I was talking about Jack, ya toads" Milton told Eddie and Jerry.
"I would love to" Jack said a little nervous, "but between school and karate and — I just got a turtle. It's a whole thing. The walking it alone takes forever."
"Then bring him to practice. If you leave him by one end of the court he might have almost gotten like five yards when practice is over" Azalea smirked and Jack looked at her unimpressed for not helping him out.
"Jack, you're the most athletic person we know" Milton said, "The school needs a quarterback."
"And we need meat, man" Jerry added.
"Dude, what part of got a turtle don't you understand?" Jack exclaimed in annoyance.
"The part where you actually got a turtle" Azalea said, "Get a cat or a dog like a normal person."
"I will tell you what, I'll even go with you to the tryout for moral support" Milton said.
"Oh, me too" Azalea agreed, "Moral support is my favourite kind of support because you don't actually have to do anything."
"It doesn't just work like that, Milton" Jack scoffed, "They don't let any kid tryout for the football team.
"Coach Marmer, Jack would like to try out-" Milton said to the passing coach who cut him off.
"Oh, great, Jack. We'll see you tomorrow at 3:30 then."
"Wait, what just happened?" Jack asked confused.
"I'd support you and the team by joining the pep squad again, but, um, as you know Grace kicked me out of no reason" Kim said angrily.
"Uh, you drop-kicked our mascot" Milton reminded her.
"He was saying inappropriate things to me through his blowhole" Kim defended, "I belong on that pep squad, front and center. And I'll say it, I like being looked at."
"We know, Kimmy" Azalea said, "and so does the mascot who still flinches whenever someone walk past him."
"Kim, you had your shot" Jerry said, "Okay? Leave the pep to the professionals."
"You have pep?" Kim asked sceptically.
"Oh, I have pep, sister" Jerry said standing up, "Yo, drum line, give me a beat!" Someone started to play the drums and Jerry danced, "S-E-A-F-O-R-D."
"S-E-A-F-O-R-D" everyone in the cafeteria chanted back.
"Greatest school in history" Jerry pepped as two male cheerleaders lifted him up on their shoulders.
"Greatest school in history!"
"Show your spirit, let's march the hall."
"Show your spirit, let's march the hall."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm gonna hit the wall" Jerry sang before realising what was happening, "I'm gonna hit the wall!"
A loud thump could be heard as Jerry hit the wall and fell of the two other guys shoulders. But no one seemed to notice, instead they stepped over him and continued chanting as they exited the cafeteria.
Azalea crouched down beside the screaming boy, trying hard to hide her smirk, "Well, at least you have pep, brother."
☆★☆
"Let's get going, Jack. Hustle it up" Milton clapped that same afternoon in the dojo, dressed like a football coach with sunglasses, a cap and a whistle.
Jack walked out of the locker rooms dressed in football uniform, looking all but enthusiastic. "Aw, you look —" Azalea said, "I don't know what you look like."
"Milton, I'm going down for a tryout. Do I really have to wear this?" Jack asked, or more complained.
Milton blew the whistle, "Five yards for a bad attitude, fellah."
"Sweet Moses, is it Halloween already?" Rudy asked when he entered and saw Jack's outfit, "I gotta put out the raisins."
"No, no, no, Rudy. It's, uh" Milton stopped him, "It's not Halloween. Jack's trying out for the football team."
"Oh, I played a little pigskin" Rudy said proudly, "You're looking at the man responsible for the tackle heard round the world."
"Okay, see you later-"
"Gotta go-"
"I love this story-"
"September 17th!" Rudy said loudly stopping the two guys who had tried to escape, "City championship. Seaford up by six, ten seconds on the clock. Suddenly Crayton High's legendary fullback Bronco Wiznewski burst the hole" he said dramatically, "As he raced for our end zone, I felt the weight of a city's dreams on my shoulders. I hit him so hard, he spit out his mouthpiece, his teeth and his pride."
"So wait, you won the championship?" Jack asked in disbelief.
"This is the best part" Azalea said with big grin.
"No, we forfeited" Rudy said, "Apparently there's some rule you have to be in the team to make a tackle."
"That's dumb" Jack said sarcastically.
"Jack, I'm so proud you're going out for football" Rudy told him, "I, I want you to have something special."
He handed something over to Jack who unwrapped the paper. "What is this?" Jack asked.
"Bronco's mouthpiece" Rudy answered, "I'd give it a quick boil."
"You carry that around?" Azalea asked as her brother walked away and Jack dropped the mouth piece, "Rudy? Rudy?!"
"Milton, Zalee, I gotta let you in on something" Jack said, "I can't throw a football."
"What do you mean, you can throw a football?" Azalea asked, "It's not that difficult. To say that you can't throw it good is another thing but everyone can throw it."
"Can't or won't?" Milton asked.
"Can't."
"Can't or don't?"
"Can't."
"Can't or shan't?"
"I can't throw a football, Milton!"
"Come on, Jack. I'm sure it's not that bad."
☆★☆
Azalea and Milton stood by the football field and watched as Jack tried to throw a football but somehow it didn't even get a yard, in fact it actually flew more backwards.
"Wow."
"You suck at this" Azalea said, not bothering to sugar coat it, "When you say you can't throw a football, you really can't."
"Thank you, Zalee" Jack said sarcastically, "No really, I'm so glad you came with me for this."
"You're welcome, honey" Azalea smiled, "But seriously, how can you be so horrible? Don't you have any ball sense at all? You must have played some ball sports as a child, basketball, soccer, volleyball-"
"No I didn't" Jack interrupted her, "I've always been into skating and martial arts."
"There we have the problem" Azalea said, "Basic coordination movements are trained up when we are children. That's why can't throw a ball, you didn't do it as a child."
"Great, now we know exactly why I'm useless at this, so we can just take a time machine and force five year old me to basketball practice."
☆★☆
Azalea sat on the bleachers watching Milton training Jack. At the moment the brown haired boy was trying to throw the ball through a tire and it wasn't going too well. "Oh, dude, I'm totally getting the hang of this. I hit the tire" Jack said excitedly.
"That was great" Milton said, "But with a small adjustment you can make it through the tire."
"Really?"
"It's simple physics" Milton explained, "The ball is spheroid, so is you release it at a 40 degree angle while pronating your hand, you'll eradicate wind resistance."
"Yeah? that's totally what I was thinking" Jack said not having understood a word. He then threw the ball and it actually went through the tire.
"You did it!" Milton exclaimed, "You got it through the tire."
"I'm a natural pronator" Jack said and the two chest bumped.
"Way to go, Jackie" Azalea said from the bleachers as the coach walked over.
"All right, Jack" he said, "let me see you hit Murphy in the end zone."
"Oh, Murphy? Come on, coach" Milton protested, "He's never gonna catch it. Look at him down there. He's got those tiny, little T-Rex hands."
"Milton" Jack interrupted the red headed boy who was waving his hands around like a T-Rex, "I got it."
Jack threw the ball across the field and Murphy actually managed to catch it. "Jack, that was a perfect throw. He caught it" Milton said, "Great catch, Murphy!" he shouted before shrieking like a dinosaur.
"Jack, you did it. He's gotta go with you" Milton said confidently.
"Nah, I'm going with Mike Reynolds" the coach said as Azalea jumped down from the bleachers and joined the boys.
"What?" Milton exclaimed in disappointment, "But he threw the ball perfectly to that little-fingered freak."
"Yeah, sorry" the coach said unapologetically.
"That is so unfair" Milton said angrily before running over to kick a ball that flew across the field and through the goals.
"Whoa" Coach Marmer said impressed, "You just kicked a 50-yard field goal. What's your name, nerd?"
"Milton Krupnick."
"Krupnick, you're our new kicker. You're stating Friday's game" Coach Marmer told him.
"Do you know what this means?" Jack asked him.
"Yeah, I know exactly what this means" Milton said, "I'm a jock."
"No, honey, you're going to die."
"Come with me" Coach Marmer started dragging Milton away while the boy let out whines of pain.
"Who would have thought the day would come when Milton Krupnick was better than Jack Brewer at something athletic" Azalea said.
☆★☆
"Dude, you missed the best part of the game" Jack told Eddie four days later when Milton had played his first game, "Milton drilled a 45 yarder right into the wind."
"Why do the good things always happen when I'm in the port-a-pooper?" Eddie asked in disappointment.
"Because you don't go before and during breaks like the rest of us" Azalea told him, giving his shoulder a pat.
"Yeah, we're the Krupnick party. He's meeting us here" Jerry said to the boy who stood like some kind of host by the area in the cafeteria where the football players ate.
The boy looked down at his clipboard but Kim was impatient, "We're with The Foot, hon."
The guys allowed them to pass and sit on a beautifully made table that should have been in a restaurant and not a lousy cafeteria. "Hey, can you smell that?" Jack asked, "That's the smell of fancy."
"I made it, grandma! I made it!" Eddie looked up at the ceiling as the others sat down.
"Thanks to Milton we're in for a whole new life at school" Kim said giddily.
"You are not kidding. Mr. Bauer gave me detention for riding my skateboard. But when I dropped Milton's name, poof, it went away" Jack explained, "And then Zalee smacked my head for riding my skateboard in school, but hey, you can't have everything."
Azalea sent her boyfriend a sarcastic smile but her attention was then averted to Kim who started speaking, "Oh, that's nothing. Guess who made the pep squad?"
"I thought Grace wasn't gonna let you in" Eddie said.
"She wasn't. But Milton made a phone call and two spots magically opened up" Kim explained, "All this one has to do is shave his pit poodles."
"I'm not doing it" Jerry said grumpily.
"Yes you are" Kim said annoyed.
"Told you, I'm not doing it."
"You're gonna do it if you wanna-"
"I like my pure. It's manly. No way."
Kim punched Jerry in the arm and the boy immediately shut up and cried out in pain, "Fine" he whimpered.
"All right everybody, I have used game socks" Milton announced while walking into the cafeteria surrounded by cheerleaders and football players. He threw the socks into the air and people caught it excitedly while the crowd cheered 'Foot' repeatedly.
Milton took of his helmet to reveal his sweaty hair and poured a bottle of water over it, taking a drink of it before spitting it out on the floor.
"Hey, Milton. Coming from practice?" Jack asked.
"No, history" Milton said, "The Russian revolution really takes a lot out of me."
"Are you wearing one of my Uggs?" Kim asked.
"I sure am" Milton lifted his leg to show them the pink shoe, "When you have a loaded gun you have to keep it in a holster, honey."
"Calling people honey is kind of my thing, honey" Azalea told him, pushing his leg back to the floor as a chef walked over and placed a shrimp cocktail in front of Milton.
"Ooh, shrimp cocktail, my favourite" Milton said digging in.
"Oh, hey Milton" Eddie interrupted him just as he was about to take a bite, "I came up with a really cool way to impress Grace. All I need is to be the scoreboard operator."
"I got you" Milton told him before turning to the passing couch, "Hey, Coach! Can my friend Eddie be our scoreboard operator?"
"What, you mean this nerd?" Coach Marmer asked looking at Eddie who sighed in defeat, "You got it, Foot."
"Hey, Milton. Are you gonna make it to karate practice today?" Jack asked.
"I had study group at 3:00" Milton read his schedule on his phone, "Had to push that back due to an interview with the school paper. Sorry, not gonna happen."
"Hey, Milton! Team pictures" Coach Marmer said just as Milton was about to take a bite, "Gotta go."
"See you guys" Milton stood up and joined him team while the chef walked over again to cut up the roast beef that stood on the table.
"Oh, ho, ho. Just a little off the end there" Jerry told him and when the man had cut off a piece of beef he took the rest of it and placed it on his plate. "Perfect."
Azalea leaned over and took one of Milton's shrimps, "Well, if he's not going to eat it."
☆★☆
Jack and Azalea walked into the dojo just as two of Milton's friends from school walked out. "Hey Milton!" Jack greeted him, "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at practice?"
"Yeah, I needed a little time to study" Milton said, "at school everywhere I turn it's 'The Foot, The Foot, The Foot!" he shouted, mimicking his crazy fans.
"Isn't it awesome? Everyone loves you?" Jack wondered and Azalea gave him a deadpanned look.
"I mean, the thing is that's great and all, but-"
"Oh man, I forgot to tell you" Jack interrupted him, "You know those tickets you gave me for homecoming? I gave them to Tony from the Pizza Palace. Free garlic nuggets for life" he said, exhaling at Milton who cringed.
"Despite the bad breath" Azalea gave Jack a pointed look, "I approve of that trade."
"Yeah, that's great, Jack" Milton said, "But seriously-"
"You getting on that football team is the greatest thing to happen to any of us" Jack cut him off again.
"Let him finish, moron" Azalea smacked his arm just as Rudy ran in with some t-shirts, "and speaking of morons."
"Hey, hey, hey, which one do you like better? 'Milton's Militia' or 'Krupnick's Krazies'?" Rudy asked them excitedly, holding up to yellow t-shirts with different prints on.
"Wow, you made T-shirts?" Milton asked.
"Uh, yeah" Rudy said in a duh tone, "Having a football star in my dojo is like the coolest thing that's ever happened."
"What about Jack's epic battle with the third-degree black belt in the Great Wall of China?" Milton asked.
"Laaaaame!" Rudy shouted before holding up the shirts again, "So? Eh, eh?"
Milton groaned before walking away, leaving the other two alone with Rudy who turned to them instead. "You weren't this excited about my basketball tournament when I was nine" Azalea said, "I practically carried that team."
"Basketball is lame" Rudy shrugged before walking away, leaving his sister gaping in offence.
"Basketball is kind of la-" Jack started.
"Not taking sports advice from the guy who couldn't throw a football a week ago!" Azalea grumbled, "Don't smirk at me" she added when the brown haired boy tried to cover up his smirk.
"You are very easily annoyed, did you know that?" Jack grinned.
"And you are walking on very thin ice, did you know that?" Azalea shot back, "But on a more important note, do you think Milton is okay? He seems a bit down."
"Why wouldn't he be okay? He's probably the most popular guy in school and he gets everything he points at" Jack said, looking genuinely confused.
"Milton isn't you, Jack. He cares about studying and playing those weird fantasy games with his friends more than having everyone in school adore him."
"You make me sound vain" Jack raised an eyebrow.
"Not vain, just — I don't have a good word for it" Azalea said with an innocent smile, "But you can't deny that you love it when everyone chants 'Jack' and all the girls in school swoon at your feet."
"Jealous?" Jack smirked smugly.
"Why would I be jealous" Azalea said, making sure that Rudy was nowhere in sight before wrapping her arms around his neck, "None of them can do this" she leaned up to kiss him, "and we both know I could kick their asses if they did."
☆★☆
"Rudy, you really went for it" Jack said, a little weirded out as the rest of the crowd cheered for their football team. Both Azalea and Jack were wearing a blue shirt with 'Seaford' written over it but Rudy had gone all in. He wore a yellow shirt with 'Krupnick's Krazies' written on it, his face half blue and half yellow and the most bizarre thing of all was the orcas hat he wore.
"Absolutely" Rudy said proudly, "Check put what's gonna happen every time we score" he lifted up the fins on his orcas hat and confetti shot out, "That was my blowhole!"
"I'm suddenly grateful that you didn't show any interest in my basketball tournament" Azalea said sitting between the two boys, trying to get the confetti out of her hair.
"Rudy, that has gotta be the most ridiculous outfit I've ever seen in-" Jack said but he cut himself off when his eyes landed on something behind them, "and I spoke too soon."
"Crayfish coming through!" Phil shouted, stumbling through the stands in a crayfish costume, "Rolling hot."
"Look what washed in, in low tide" Rudy pursed his lips.
"Rudy, they ran out of tickets. Please, can I sit next to you?" Phil asked, "You won't hear a pippich out of me."
Rudy pointed at the empty seat next to him while Azalea turned to her boyfriend, "Do you think he'd notice if we switched places? I'm going to seasick next to the orcas and the crayfish."
Jack just grinned, wrapping his arm around her shoulder for a few seconds when Rudy looked away, sending her a quick wink, "Milton Krupnick lines up for a 42 yarder" the announced said. "His third field goal of the game."
Milton prepared himself and the crowd cheered, well everyone except for Phil, "Okay, I'm going to try to distract him so he misses it. Hey!" he started to squeal crazily.
"Here the snap and the kick is good" the announcer said when Milton kicked which caused the crowd to erupt in applause.
"Yeah, no, good, good" Phil said, "No, I wanted him to make it. That's great."
"That's a time-out on the field" the announcer informed them and the cheerleaders ran out while the football players ran in.
"Ten bucks on that this is going to be a disaster" Azalea whispered to Jack.
"Those are our friends out there" Jack pointed at Kim and Jerry, "I'm not taking those odds. Of course it's going to be a disaster."
As if on cue Kim climbed up and stood on Jerry's shoulders, the boy screaming in pain. "Give me an 'S'!" Kim shouted.
"S!" the crowed chanted back.
"Give me an 'E'!"
"E!"
"Give me a — help" Kim shouted before falling of Jerry's shoulders and into the orchestra.
Azalea tried to cover up her laughter, but failed miserably. "Aha, that's a riot!" Rudy laughed, "That girl just took a header into a sousaphone."
"I'm pretty sure that was Kim" Jack said, looking unimpressed by the Gillespie siblings amusement.
"It's even funnier now, cause I know here" Rudy laughed.
"Are all Gillespies born with out sensitivity?" Jack asked his still laughing girlfriend who just nodded in response.
"I can't help it" Azalea defended, "It's a coping mechanism."
"Attention both sides" the announcer said, "would you please direct your eyes to the scoreboard. Some kid named Eddie has given himself a massive wedgie."
Azalea along with the rest of the crowd laughed, but she tried to cover it up by burying her head in Jack's shoulder. "You have a problem" he told her.
"I know" she said, wiping the tears from laughter out of her eyes. Jack then decided to drag her away to get some popcorn.
And it seemed like Eddie's stunt had worked sense Grace actually agreed to go out with him, for some reason which also caused the audience to applause.
"The whales take a time out. A 52-yard gírele goal will win it for 'em. Longest in Seaford history, and it looks like they're going to bring in 'The Foot."
"Hey, Milton" Jack said as the two made their way over to the nervous boy, "Check it out, I got free popcorn just for knowing you."
"Are you alright, honey?" Azalea asked, "You haven't really been yourself lately.
"Not really" Milton admitted.
"What's the matter?" Jack asked.
"Every time I look at the football, I think of all the things I'd rather be doing" Milton told them.
"Well, then you are you on the team?" Jack asked confusedly.
"Look around you, Jack" Milton said, "I'm doing it for you guys."
"What?"
"You said it yourself. Me getting on the football team was the best thing that ever happened to you guys."
"That doesn't make our lives sound sad" Azalea muttered.
"I mean, because of me Kim and Jerry made the pep squad, Eddie got a date with Grace" Milton pointed out, "And when's the last time you saw Rudy look so happy?"
They looked up at the bleachers to see Rudy make his hat shoot out confetti again, "Out me blowhole!"
"Milton, the rest of us shouldn't get something out of this if you don't" Azalea said, "None of us want you to be unhappy, so if you wanna quit, then quit."
"So you guys would be okay if 'The Foot' walked away?" Milton asked hopefully.
"Dude, as long as you're happy" Jack popped another popcorn into his mouth.
"Thanks, Jack, Lea."
"Go get 'em, Krupnick" the coach walked over and patted his shoulder before shoving him out on the field while the crowd chanted 'Foot' over and over again.
"That's it, the final kick" the announcer said, "If he makes this, Milton Krupnick will be a Seaford High legend."
Kim and Jerry joined the couple as Milton prepares himself. "Here's the snap" the announcer said and Milton kicked the ball through the goal which caused the crowd to erupt in cheers.
Jack picked Azalea up by the waist and spun her around in excitement as Milton ran over to them. "Milton you did it, we won the game" one of his teammates said. "Party at my house."
"Yeah, you know — You guts go ahead, get it started without me" Milton told him, "I'll catch you later."
"All right" the guy said before walking off.
"Dude, Milton, that was awesome!" Jack praised him, "You did it. And even though you're retiring from the team, you should go celebrate the victory with your guys."
"I'm going to" Milton said, "With you guys."
"Whoo! Yeah!" Jerry exclaimed as two guys walked over and picked Milton up to carry him on their shoulders.
"S-E-A-F-O-R-D! Greatest school in history" they chanted while walking out but unfortunately Jerry's easily diverted concentration when it came to girl caused him to let go of Milton which caused the boy to fall to the ground with a thud.
"You okay there, honey?" Azalea offered her hand the the boy.
"I'm peachy."
____________
Azalea's Outfit: