ps: try to understand both points of view of the characters ?????
LUCY
"Did you have fun?" Taylor asked, smirking.
I looked around and there is nobody on the street except from us, must be almost midnight. I thought quickly how to escape, my house was very close and I could run.
"Don't try to hurt me or I'll hurt you," he warned me and I nodded.
My heart beat loudly in my chest and my throat was dry. The fear was growing on me.
He released from his grip and I stepped back.
"I won't hurt," he added.
Somehow that reassured me but made me doubt. Something is happening, something is wrong.
"What...What do you want?" I asked, very scared.
How does he know where I live? How he showed up at the right time?
"I want to talk to you."
We've never talked, we may have exchanged a few words but the times I have seen him everything turns out violent. No one has ever hit me in my life except for him. I don't know why but suddenly I feel scared, more scared than the other occasions. Gemma is right, I've been very brave to face him.
I waited for a few seconds but he didn't speak right away. His eyes scanned me with intense dark eyes and I didn't know what to say or what to feel or how to react. I backed up and he grabbed my arm. My phone started ringing, I managed to pull it out and it was Harry. Taylor slapped the phone and it fell on the grass.
"What-what's wrong with you!?" I asked scared and I managed to get rid of his grip.
I was going to bend down but his words caused a reaction in me.
"You must be wondering about the photos in that small room, right?" He said and I sent him a look.
I gulped and nodded. The sound of my phone disappeared, I forgot about Harry and concentrated at this exact moment, my curiosity was more powerful.
"What does it mean?"
"Madison and I had something," he said quietly.
What?
"Like a relationship?"
"What else could it be, stupid?" He snapped angrily. I shivered by the aggressiveness of his response. "Anyway it didn't end in a good way. Your sister is a bitch, a real bitch.”
Perhaps she is but I'm not one to judge. I frown but he ignored me.
"Your sister did something and then bragged on my face. She threatened me as a joke but I don't like jokes," he explained.
What was Madison thinking when she decided to have something with Taylor? He's scary, he's evil and doesn’t even bother to hide his dark side. He is so despicable, I feel disgusted, I really hate him.
"Why are you telling me this?" I asked in a whisper.
"Madison made a video, actually she recorded a lot of videos, I suppose you imagine what are the content of those videos or should I explain it to you?" He asked raising an eyebrow.
His gaze was dark and he became upset as he waited for my answer. I immediately imagined the content of those videos and my heart stopped. Why would she do that?
"You should know that it is her little hobby, she has all the videos with the guys she slept. She's crazy," he added.
What? Her hobby?
"Maybe she even has a video with Harry," he smiled quietly.
I opened my eyes at his statement. No, no. My heart was going to jump out of my chest. Panic stirs through my body and my chest hurt. I shouldn't listen but I'm so insecure. No, no!
I shook my head fading the idea of my mind, it is not possible.
"You're...you're lying," I replied weakly.
"Maybe, maybe not," he shrugged. "But Harry is involved."
"What?" I let out feeling weaker. He’s lying. "I-I don't understand."
"I thought you were smart," a big smile spread on his face, he's mocking me. "Do you remember when you came to see me for your sister?"
After his question everything makes sense in my mind. My brain throws back memories, words and everything is clear. It can't be true...
"She was crying because you had stolen something from her..." I muttered.
My brain was already throwing the rest of the answers but I didn’t want to say it aloud.
He applauded, mocking me. "But I didn't steal, Harry did."
What? Harry? When? Why?
"Why?"
"Are you retarded or what? He works for me, he owes me a couple of favor. You're lucky he's still alive, long ago I thought about killing him."
Killing him…
My head starts spinning very fast. It's too much information and there is a pain in my heart. I don't know if I should believe him but he seems very sure about his words and somehow it makes sense. Harry could come to my house with the excuse that he wanted to see me or talk to me. I wasn't in the house, Madison opened the door, she was distracted and Harry stole what he needed. Too easy and it’s the perfect plan.
"I'm not lying, you can ask him and he will tell you the truth."
"His...his friends knew?" I whispered.
"Of course."
I lost my balance for a couple of seconds and I leaned my hand against the car next to me.
"By the way, don't believe in all his shit. Harry and Emily were very much in love. A year and a half are not forgotten in two days or two months, you should consider that. They were almost obsessed with each other. She left me for him."
"What?"
"He hasn't told you anything, right?" Taylor laughed and his laughter echoed in my head. "I know Harry and I'm telling the truth. I think you're still his toy, probably his favorite toy and I wonder why," Taylor cocked his head to the side with fingers on his chin.
Harry and Emily, they are in love, they were together for more than a year, Madison, the video, Harry and his friends stole it, he's using me, I'm his toy. Too many images cross my head and I feel dizzy. Panic and fear are about to stab my heart. Could Taylor be right? Is he saying the truth?
"I don't know why you're his toy, there's nothing interesting in you," he added.
There’s nothing interesting in you, that's exactly what Emily told me before I hit her in the girls bathroom. My mind is awake, adrenaline, fear, anger tingles throughout my whole body. I looked furious at Taylor and clenched my fists. My shell was broken, my defenses fell in fraction of minutes.
"Get away from me!" I yelled and pushed him. "Leave me alone!" I pushed him one more time, grabbed my phone and ran away.
I stopped when I am in front of the door of my house. I breathed and my throat and lungs hurt. I turned around and Taylor didn't follow me. I looked back at the house and tried to calm myself, I tried to put my best face and act naturally.
I knock the door once I feel ready and within seconds my mom is hugging me. It's so weird to be back.
"How did it go? Did you like it?" She asked excitedly and closed the door behind me.
"I'm fine, it-it was fine. I'm tired, can I go to sleep? "
"But honey, tell me how was it, I want to know," my mother asked pouting.
I realize that she should be in her night shift, I'm surprised to see her here at home. Guess she made an effort for me, I can do it too. I pushed the sea of emotions that were shaking inside me and sat next to Lily on the couch.
15 minutes later I'm in my room. I closed the door and sat on my bed. I watched my hands in silence and let myself drown for all the emotions and thoughts.
I'm angry with Harry, somehow I feel he lied to me. How was he able to not tell me what he did to Madison? Louis helped me that evening and he was not able to tell me either but it's obvious why he didn't.
I know that Harry didn't hurt me directly but got involved with Madison, she is my step sister and I care for her after all she is a human being. I know her hobby is not good and dangerous if we think about what people like Taylor can do, but what is in those videos is private and privacy is so important, it's something that a person should never corrupt and Harry did it. If I was Madison I would have been shattered and now I understand better how she felt.
He hid this from me all this time and a stranger had to tell me. Harry can carry the lies so easily and I wonder if he's hiding something else. That makes me doubt and maybe Taylor is right. What if he's lying to me? What if he doesn't like me?
I hugged my knees and felt awful desire to cry. Maybe Taylor is lying, Harry tells me he in love with me all the time and he has shown it but his relationship with Emily must be deeper and definitely longer than ours. Maybe he didn't forget her entirely still he's with me, perhaps he still thinks about her. Emily told me they had a promise and that he still loved her. They have so many memories, so many bonds and between Harry and I there is no bonds. We are fragile, everything between us is extremely fragile and now I can see it.
We pretended to forget the past but what if for Harry I'm still the same goal as I was several months ago? What if I'm his toy? Could he see me this way?
I thought you were smart, Lucinda, you think you're smart but let me tell you're far from that. You're stupid. Why? For thinking that I could be with you.
Harry's voice echoed in my head and I covered my ears with my hands as if that could prevent to listen his words again. I couldn't hold my tears, my vision blurred and I started to cry. Hours ago I was the happiest girl in the world and now this was a big disaster.
+
Today was my birthday but I was not happy. At school my friends greeted me and wished me happy birthday. Gemma and Adam also called me. Greetings and words comforted me but nothing felt right. The hardest part was to face Harry Styles. He kissed me and the kiss was so sweet that I found it painful. He gave me flowers and my heart ached even more. It was a bouquet of daisies, he told me once that daisies were not as appreciated but were simple and cute like me. I wonder if he invented or if he found the phrase on a website.
I wanted to talk to him but never find the strength to do it. I felt useless and too sad and without energies. I had to do it today, supposedly after my little party I have to go to his house to stay with him.
The rest of the day is boring and nothing makes sense to me, everything is gray. At night I chose a red sweater and black jeans. My friends came and I didn't know what to do. At the end Marcel and Mandy took control and everyone chatted. I was drinking beer aside with Cassie. She was sad and there was something that was disturbing her, I could see it on her face. I wanted to ask but again I was out of energy. I felt incredibly selfish not to ask how she was really.
I played a few times with Marcel on the Xbox and he was happy for my birthday and happy to be here. Adam approached me minutes later and invited me to watch a movie this week, I decided to accept, I guess I needed.
At one point I went to the kitchen and cut pieces of cake for everyone. Cassie asked for Harry and I didn't know how to answer that question.
"We're fine," I responded.
I didn't want to tell the truth, not because she would get mad at me but because inside I had some hope that everything would be fine. It was ridiculous, I was ridiculous and all my thoughts were useless and ridiculous.
"He's doing better. I think it was very nice that he gave you a bouquet of daisies, I remembered you told me that he compared you with daisies," Cassie half smiled. "It was a nice gesture."
It was a nice gesture but it was real?
All my little party goes too slow. I close my eyes and I wish I could disappear. My phone rings and I know is a message from Harry.
To: UNOFFICIAL BOYFRIEND BUT REAL BOYFRIEND.
Are you excited for tonight?!?!? I am. Miss you a lot, birthday girl. H x
I shivered and tried to control my desire to cry. Days ago we made love and it was amazing but now I just feel like a toy. I wonder if his words are true or maybe he already got used to write all this.
The rest of the party was normal without any major event. I thanked my friends for coming, they are all I have. I said goodbye to my mother and followed my friends. I was supposed to go to Mandy's house for a sleepover. I grabbed my backpack and left the house.
Mandy offered me to take me to Harry's house and I couldn't be more grateful. The problem was that I wasn't going to stay there, I needed to tell her the truth.
"Mandy, Harry and I are not okay."
"What? What happened?" She inquired confused. "You guys had an excellent weekend, what went wrong?"
"I think he has been lying," I replied weak.
"What? Fuck. What are you going to do? "
"I'll talk to him. I was supposed to stay with him but I doubt that things go well. I was wondering if I could stay at your house, I'll take a taxi. "
"Sure you can. I could wait for you if you want. "
"It's too much to ask. Also I don't know how much is going to take me. "
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, but thanks anyway."
"I hope you guys can fix this."
"I don't know, Mandy," I whispered.
The trip to his house is short and soon I'm already getting out of Mandy's car. My heart clenched, this is the moment. I said goodbye to her and walked to Harry's house. I took a deep breath and knocked on his door. I heard giggles and I think someone gets hit with a furniture. Harry poked his head without opening the door completely. He smirked and his eyes were shining with excitement.
"Hello love," he winked. My heart beat faster and it hurts. A lie.
"Hi," I said weakly.
"Are you ready?" He questioned before opening the door.
I heard a big 'Surprise!', His friends were there and a couple of people I didn't know. The room was a little decorated and had the typical Happy Birthday poster. I wanted to smile and I did, this is...too sweet.
Louis came out of nowhere and threw me lots of serpentine, and gave me a helium balloon and put a birthday girl hat. Harry grabbed my hand and pulled me to walk into his warm home. I smiled gratefully and embarrassed but my heart wouldn't stop hurting.
I thanked the people who told me happy birthday as Harry pulled me into the kitchen. He smiles and is an honest smile and my favorite. My fingers slid down his dimples and my heart ached in my chest. A lie.
"Happy birthday, Lucy," he kissed the tip of my nose. "The birthday girl looks very pretty tonight," Harry smiled and gently pulled my braid. "What did you get?"
"I didn't open my gifts, I'll do it tomorrow."
"I see. I'm sure you'll like mine. "
His excitement and smile were too much for me. I couldn't stand it. I cleared my throat and his green eyes watched me intently.
"I want to talk to you, Harry."
"Okay. Let's leave your backpack in my room. "
We walked through the living room and up the stairs. My muscles tense and my stomach tightens inside me. I wonder how he's going to react and what he is going to say. I left my bag on the floor and closed the door of his room. I breathed deeply and ignored the pain in my chest.
"What's going on?"
"Harry, you...you lied."
"What? What are you talking about? "He sent a look of confusion.
"You stole a video from Madison," I muttered without looking at him.
He didn't answer right away. He presses his lips into a thin line and swallows. It's true, Taylor was not lying.
"Why didn't you tell me, Harry?"
"I didn't think it was necessary..."
"What? Why not? She's my sister and she was suffering!" I growled. "Maybe we don't have a good relationship but she is-is a human being."
"I had to," he said, "but it was not me, it was Zayn."
"But you lied," I repeated. "That hurt."
"Lucinda, I didn't think it would hurt you, I didn't think it was important to you," he responded right away and ran his hands through his hair.
His answer is painful, I was expecting more, that was...disappointing.
"How can you say that? If you thought it wouldn't hurt me or that I wouldn't mind then you don't know me, Harry," I admitted.
He stepped back as if my words hurt him or push him. The green-eyed boy looked upset but sad. He knows what he did was not right. I think my words were harsh and my accusation is strong but that's what I think.
"I do know you. I just didn't want to say it because... because I knew how you would react. "
My brain clicked and I understood what he's hiding behind his words.
"Harry, you didn't do it for me or how I was going to react, you did thinking about you because you knew this was going to affect our relationship."
"I didn't want to ruin it, things were fine."
"Were fine," I repeated slowly. My heart was going to jump out of my chest and my body was weak. I am suffering. "You still like Emily?"
"What?"
"You heard me."
He frowned and his expression is pure anger.
"Of course not! Why do you think that? What did she say this time?" He asked, raising his voice.
The tone of his voice makes me nervous, I pressed my body against the door and Harry stood a few meters away from me.
"You were with her for over a year, it's impossible to forget everything in just a few months."
"Well, yes I did. Lucy, she was never what I wanted, I told you I wasn't living right and when I opened my eyes she had lost all sense to me. What I felt for her was not real and never was. "
"How I can trust you?"
"Because I'm telling the truth!" He growled frustrated. "Shit, Lucy, I told you I'm in love with you. You know that bothers me think of you with Eric or think of you with Adam. I wrote you a letter and that's something I've never done it for someone. I took you to the beach house and I had never been there with someone. I told you that you're what I want, I'd never change something about you Lucinda. I told you're my Lucy, mine and didn't want you to share moments with someone else, I said I couldn't bear to think of you with someone else other than me. Does that not mean anything to you?" He asked offended but I can see he's hurt by my attitude and my accusation.
Of course all Harry said means something to me, if I didn't believe we wouldn't be together. I told him he had won to get here but Taylor's words left me in doubt. Suddenly I feel small and shy.
"I told you I needed you, I would do anything for you," he whispered. "If you weren't so insecure then you wouldn't hesitate so much of me!" He growled speaking louder.
"I have my own problems but you also make me insecure," I whispered without looking into his eyes. "What you had with Emily—"
"Damn, Lucy!" He exclaimed cutting off. "It's enough, stop!"
Styles came up to me and his hands grabbed my shoulders. The fury swam on his green eyes and his breathing was not stable. For a moment I was frightened by his reaction, I wanted to step back but I can't escape, my back is against the door.
"Lucy, I told you I'm in love with you! Doesn't that mean anything to you?!" He spat very upset and I can see that my silence hurt him.
I looked at him for a fraction of seconds. I'm a mess and all my thoughts and emotions collide. My vision blurs and I started to cry. Of course his love means a lot to me but he can't understand how fragile we are.
"No...hey, don't cry, love," he whispered and anger is gone from his voice. His thumb slid down my cheek and I want to go back to those two days we were at the beach house.
I rested my hands on his chest when he tried to hug me. The touch between us would only be worse for me. Harry looked at me, he was hurt but I was equally hurt. For a moment there's nothing between us, I am in front of him crying and Harry watches me worried.
"Let me hug you," he asked in a whisper but I shook my head. He ran his long fingers through his hair and cursed under his breath. "Lucy, don't make this harder..."
I swallowed and wiped my tears.
"Do you really...like me? Are you really in love with me?"
"What the hell, Lucy?! Are you going to keep asking that? For you it means nothing what I've done? I always say it, I wrote on your desk that I wanted you. Have you paid attention to what I've done for you? "He snapped frowning.
"You lied with something as simple as Madison, it's easy for you lying then it is difficult for me to believe you," I defended myself looking at our shoes.
His fingers gripped my chin and forced me to look at him.
"i wouldn't lie about this, you have to believe me," he spoke softly, his green eyes were piercing me. "I'm in love with you, very much in love. I organized this surprise party for you, I wanted you to have fun, I wanted you to be happy tonight. Everything I did was thinking about you and that is something you do when you're in love. "
A part of me believed what he was saying but another part is still hesitating. There is a whole internal battle within me but it's not as if had never been there. Being with Harry means an internal battle in me to forget the past and embrace the present.
"I'm so mad at you, mad at me and with our situation. I want things to be different but you...you," he shook his head and looked at him intently. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry," he said frustrated. "I want you. All the time. No one else," he whispered with an expression that could be detect as pain.
It is part of the sentence he wrote on my desk, I think it's the nicest thing he has written to me. My eyes widened in astonishment and for a moment the pain in my chest disappeared. That sentence was for me, he did it for me. I sighed and for a moment I felt good.
"I really want to fix this," Harry whispered and planted a kiss on my forehead. I pinched my right thigh and this was real.
There are no words to describe how I was feeling at this very moment, there is a big mix of feelings and sensations of all kinds melting into me and I can feel hope. Despite this fight everything he said was about his feelings for me, I saw no doubt, he didn't hesitate.
It's real, it's real! He is in love with you and wants to fix this!
Harry's expression is soft and full of emotions that I recognize because I'm feeling the same, we are suffering. The atmosphere is electric, is silent and words are hanging between us and they are waiting to be pronounced. I thought about my answer but something caught my attention. Harry's expression changed, he frowned and his jaw tightened. He was very angry and I knew what he was going to ask.
"Who told you this?" He inquired, his voice is slow but I can feel his anger.
No, no.
I pressed my lips into a thin line and I felt very small. The answer is not going to bring good results.
"Tell me, Lucinda."
I can't escape. I don't want to say the truth but I must. I know this will have consequences but I can't lie. I closed my eyes and dug my nails into the palms of my hands.
"Taylor," I whispered.
I opened my eyes, his gaze still on me. He was furious, I could detect it in every detail of his face. Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell.
"Tell me why you did it."
"I...I had to, you don't understand," he spoke, his voice sounded slow and insecure.
"For you...I-I never understand," I whispered. "Tell me, you can do it…"
His jaw tightened and he walked around the room. I could see him nervous and that increased curiosity in me but also disappointment. He doesn't trust me?
"Tell me," I repeated almost begging. How hard it was for him to tell the truth?
"I doubt you could understand what it feels like when someone threatens you, when someone threatens to kill you, I doubt that happens in your perfect little world," he growled, clenched teeth and piercing my eyes.
I bit my lower lip until it hurt and my nails dug stronger in the palms of my hands. Of course I couldn't understand but that doesn't mean he can't tell me.
"Move, Lucinda," he said without looking at me. I didn't obey. "Move, I won't repeat it," he growled.
Scared by his words I moved aside. Harry opened the door and left the room. I froze for a few seconds trying to imagine what would happen now. I wiped the remaining tears and then ran downstairs. Harry was talking with Louis and was calling someone.
I walked over to him and grabbed his hand. The green-eyed boy looked at me as soon as he felt my hand on his. Styles seemed lost, he wanted to do something about it but it could be worse, he wanted to fix things and make it right but his temperament was not going to let him. I could see it in his beautiful face, I could see there was an internal battle between doing good or evil.
"Stay, Harry," I whispered with pain in my voice, my face and my body.
Harry pressed his lips into a thin line and then shook his head. His instincts and emotions were stronger and it hurt that he couldn't be controlled. I was going to ask once again but a sound outside the house caught our attention. The sound of a cell. I looked up and Harry's eyes were wide. I guess I know who he was calling.
"Please ..." I asked in vain. Harry let go of my hand, threw the phone to Louis' chest and opened the door.
Taylor was outside and holding a gift in his hands. The situation was ironic and he seemed amused but I couldn't see the fun in this. He was smiling but that smile on his face wouldn't last too much.
For a moment I was not able to breathe and everybody moved slower. Harry approached him and grabbed the collar of his shirt. The green-eyed boy started screaming really loud and his screams echoed in my head, his face turned red and Taylor watched him with a smile. I know what follows after this and now Taylor will have to pay the price.
My heart pounded desperate when Harry pushed Taylor and he fell on the cement driveway. My body shuddered and my skin lost all trace of heat. Harry walked down the small stairs and approached Taylor. He kicked him on the stomach and I instinctively set my hand on my stomach.
I stepped forward, wanting to stop this but someone grabbed my elbow and dragged me inside the house while I was yelling at Harry to stop.