Eloise
-x-
11:23am
18th September 2019
"I think so" Shawn gently smiled at me before looking away at the wall.
"Shawn?" I softly asked, gaining back his full attention.
Shawn hummed in response for me to go ahead.
"What happens now? Where does this leave us?" I hesitantly asked, beyond worried at how he could possibly respond.
Shawn just let out a loud sigh before leaning forward over his knees, his chin resting on the top of his joined fists.
"I don't know, I really have no clue" Shawn lowly replied, looking back to give me a sad look.
"Do you want to keep working on us?" I swallowed the dryness away from my throat before pulling my legs under me.
"I want to but-" Shawn breathed out heavily before sitting back up straight and turning his body to face me.
"It's just, I still feel so hurt and I don't know how I'm suppose to go on as if eveything's okay"
"I understand" I meekly nodded, not wanting to hear that but understanding every word he said.
"Right now, I think the best thing for the both of us is to spend some time living apart" Shawn replied, instantly making my eyes widen as I stared up at him.
Shawn's eyes turned to guilt as he noticed my expression change.
"I know it's not what you want, but what we both need is to work on ourselves before we can work on our relationship"
"What about our baby?" I felt my voice cracked as I looked down at my stomach, my baggy jumper hiding the bump.
"We're still gonna see eachother Elle" Shawn sighed as he took ahold of my hand.
"And no matter what happens I want to be involved in our baby's life"
Looking down at our hands Shawn intertwined our fingers before gently soothing his thumb over the tops of my knuckles.
"I'm going to move back in with my mum for a few weeks" Shawn explained as small tears formed in my eyes.
"You don't have to go Shawn, I'll go" I sighed as I helplessly let the tears fall down my cheeks.
"No Elle, you can have the house. I need to make sure you and our baby are safe" Shawn sweetly replied before taking his free hand and softly wiping away my tears.
"I don't want you to go" my voice broke as I closed my eyes to try and stop any more tears from falling.
"I know you don't, but trust me when I say it's for the best" Shawn's voice was so delicate as he held one hand on the side of my face before leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss against my forehead.
Shawn
-x-
4:19pm
I had packed up all my clothes and left. I was now sat in my old bedroom at my parents' house, scanning my eyes around how different the whole room looked.
Before college my room was so messy and full of sports posters and awards, whereas now the room was washed out white like I had never even been here.
Now I was sat here alone in my room, completely lost on what to do with myself. After the accident, all I knew was Elle and being with her every second of every hour of the day.
Since being out of the hospital the two of us were inseparable, and I would even take any chance I could to just be with her.
However, everything was different now. We now had to live apart and as much as I didn't want to do that, I knew it was for the best.
I can't heal in the same environment that gave me all the pain in the world.
As for Elle, when I left, she was beyond quiet. I knew how devastated she was and that she was just being quiet to stop herself from crying. It pained me to see her in such a state, but she needs this distance between us just as much as I do.
With all of this I still feel beyond hurt at her web of lies. I can't comprehend the fact that she's pregnant, with my baby. It hasn't sunk in how she could just keep that from me.
She even kept the truth about the night of my accident from me. Her and Liam didn't tell me that I could have been saved from being shot in the head. They didn't tell me that I could have been saved from losing my memory.
Pulling me out of my overwhelming thoughts I heard a light knock against my closed door.
"Come in" I faintly called back.
The door then opened to reveal my dad stood there holding a pizza box.
"Hungry?" Dad asked, before walking in and opening the box.
"Not really" I shrugged as he sat down next to me, resting the box on his lap as he took a slice for himself.
"Have you eaten at all today?" Dad rose his eyebrows and I just shook my head in response before leaning forward and resting my head on my propped up hands.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" He then questioned.
I just let out a massive sigh as I glanced my head round to look at him before looking forward again.
"Elle is pregnant" I mumbled, not having told my parents yet about why I was moving back in.
"What?" My dad immediately gasped as I heard him drop the pizza back into the box.
"I know" I said bluntly.
"Who would have thought it?"
"When did you find out?" Dad asked, beyond shocked and in disbelief.
"Yesterday" I sighed before standing up, my head too crazy for me to just concentrate and sit there.
"Is that why you moved out?" He questioned.
"Well, not exactly" I rolled my eyes, feeling myself become frustrated again at the whole situation.
"Elle had known she was pregnant for five weeks" I sighed, my body becoming tense as I rubbed my hand over my slightly grown hair.
"Five weeks?" Dad exclaimed, his eyes widening.
"That's not even the worst part" I rose my eyebrows before folding my arms across my chest.
My dad just sat there intensely listening.
"Liam knew about her being pregnant and went to the first scan with her"
"No!" Dad gasped as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
"I know, and it just sucks because I had always imagined what it felt like to see my baby for the first time at the first scan" I explained.
I had decided against telling my dad how Liam was the reason for me being in hospital. It would only upset him even more, and it would most certainly hurt my mum. I mean Liam grew up with us as if he was another son to them.
"I am in just as much shock as you Shawn, but I do think that your decision to move out is the best decision you could have made" Dad replied, obviously struggling to find the right words to explain any of this.
"It's so weird because I don't even feel anger for Elle, I just feel so betrayed" I sighed, dropping my tense shoulders.
"The anger passes so quick Shawn. It's the hurt and the pain that lasts, those feelings will take god knows how long to heal" He explained sincerely.
"What am I suppose to do now?" I asked, my eyes starting to swell up with tears as I felt my guard begin to crumble down.
"I told her that we'd still see eachother and that I want to be involved in the baby's life but am I suppose to do that without being reminded of the pain she's caused me?"
"There's no easy answer I can give you Shawn" dad sighed before getting up and walking over to me.
"But what I think is best for you right now is to go back to the life you once knew" dad said as he placed either hand at my shoulders.
"The life you knew without her"
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Sorry it took so long for me to get this chapter out! Let me know what you think!
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