[Harry]
I ended up drinking the last sip of my beer and I held the cigarette between my lips. I crushed the can and then got out of the car.
I didn't want to be here but I need to ask something. I walked through the entrance and looked at the neatly and decorated garden, it's filled with green and other colors.
Among the flowers I recognize the daisies and that just reminds me of Lucy, so simple, adorable and hurt. I'm a failure as a person.
My boots hit the cement and my knuckles knocked the wood.
"You can't smoke in here," my mother warned as soon as the door opened.
I threw the cigarette to the ground and crushed it with my boot. I walked into my mother's house, it's simple, it's big but the most important thing here was the backyard, Charlie loves to play there.
I made my way down the hall and I spotted Paolo in the living room, he works with my mom. I have an eye on him.
"Good afternoon, Harry," he greeted with a slight smile.
I smile falsely and pretend to have a gun with my hand. I shot Paolo and then I went to the kitchen.
"Great, Paolo is here," I growled once I walked into the kitchen and Barbara looked at me confused.
"What you want now, little boy?"
"I came to ask something," I shrugged.
"What did you break now?"
"That's not your problem," I grabbed a chocolate chip cookie and put it in my mouth. "What are you doing here and Paolo the idiot?"
"We get together with your mom to share ideas, we want to see if we can create new recipes, we want to be innovators," she smiled and I opened the refrigerator.
"Why don't you have a good vodka in here?" I rolled my eyes and closed the refrigerator. I looked at the table and Barbara had a glass of wine. "Cheater! I want wine too. "
"You're a baby."
"19 years old, okay," I snatched the cup and drank the wine in one gulp. "Not so bad, good choice."
"Now you know about wine?" She raised an eyebrow and I nodded. "And how is your problem? Have you resolved anything? "
Her questions shoved me to my dark side and I feel the nostalgia in every particle of my body.
"Nope, all wrong," I replied and leaned my back against the refrigerator. "But you were right, I'm in love with Lucy."
"It was obvious. So, things are wrong with her too? "
"Yes, I made a mistake and I rushed everything but I couldn't wait anymore."
"Men always made mistake. My husband was the same but we are happily married for many years. Tell me Harry, you're seriously in love with her? "
"Absolutely."
"The thing is, do you project yourself into the future with her?"
"These are not the old days; I hope you're not talking about marriage, Barbara."
"Nope, but I'm talking about something more serious and not just sex and games."
"She's a virgin," I clarified because I don't want Barbara to have a bad perception of Lucy.
"Holy shit," Barbara said, and I thought it was funny to hear that from her.
I helped Barbara to put the cupcakes in the oven and then she poured wine to me and for her.
"That's very sweet, very sweet. That was the way we fell in love in the old times. "
"I told her how I felt for her, I was sweet, I thought hard about my words and she got scared anyway."
"Give her time, you said you hurt her."
I pressed my lips into a thin line and put my hands in my pockets.
"And what you said about the future I just believe that if we get back together it would be difficult for us to break up. She is loyal, faithful and dedicated. We would break up only if Lucinda gets bored of me or if the chemistry between us disappears or if I do something wrong but I'm not willing to do it this time. "
"That's very sweet," Barbara smiled and mom walked into the kitchen with Paolo. Fuck you, Paolo.
"So, what happened, Harry?" Anne asked as she checked some biscuits.
"I need a new phone."
"What? Why?"
"I dropped mine and died," I replied faking sorrow.
Of course I was lying; I broke it because I was mad at everything. It was something material, it didn't matter so it was the first thing I destroyed. I'm sorry for my cell phone and rest in peace.
"I know you have a plan because you have your cell for business and I thought you could help me," I shrugged my shoulders and Anne rolled her eyes.
"Harry is not with Lucy, he lied to you," Barbara suddenly spoke and I looked at her very angry
"What?" Anne exclaimed and looked us both.
"What the hell, Barbara?" My jaw dropped.
"I don't think your phone has been an accident and your mother should know about this, Harry."
"You lied about Lucy? Why? "
"We're not together, that's all that matters," I growled and backed away. "Lucinda won't come to your stupid dinner and I'll only be here for Charlie."
"I'll think about the phone after this lie, Harry," Anne shook her head and Paolo did the same.
"Thank you Barbara," I snapped and threw some cookies to the floor. "Paolo, I have an eye on you, get away from my mother or you're dead," I barked and then left the kitchen.
Mission aborted and thanks to Barbara, the person I trusted the most. I understand her reasons but she betrayed me.
I closed the door of my car and I had a message from Louis. I got an older phone but it was really boring. Anyway I didn't want a very modern phone; I want just the same as I had before.
I drove to a pool club and I knew Zayn would be there too. I got off the car and looked for a few seconds the door on my side; it was not too bad despite the punches that I have given. I sighed and turned on the alarm.
"Harry!" I heard Louis as soon I entered.
I walked to my friends and as I said Zayn is there.
"What's up, bitch?" Zayn said and then he focused on the game.
"We have other ideas for Lucy, there will be a meeting later," Louis said and my body tensed.
I haven't told my friends that I spoke to Lucy; probably they are going to beat me for my clumsy movement. I don't know what I was thinking, I thought Lucy would take it better but this just proves I'm very stupid.
"Yeah, great, me too," I replied, and that was true.
"Oh, look, here's the money," Louis handed me a wad of bills and I put it in my pocket. "For Bob."
"No way," I smiled in disbelief and a very dark feeling started sailing through me.
"Yes, you have problems with him so you should go."
I nodded and said goodbye to my friends.
I admit it was a big pain for me when I told Lucinda about my feelings and I felt her rejection. From there a very dark feeling has been chasing my body. I'm angry with myself but that anger is transferred to all that is around me. Two days since I talked to her and I don't know about her state. I didn't attend to the classes we share because she needs her own space and I needed the same.
I knew from the moment Bob hurt Lucy I would get my revenge. I held my violent and dark impulses because this is a circle and now finally it's time. I'll pay him but I will also leave a memory, a mark.
All this anger, sadness and rejection are transformed into a big dark hole and is willing to do everything disappear. It is not the best way but I handled it well. I guess I can be nice when I want but if I really want, I can be a villain.
I'm just doing this for Lucy, because I can clearly remember her wounds, her face and they way she looked so weak that day. I had never felt so hurt like that day, I felt her pain, her confusion, and my mind was very cloudy. Since there I already had feelings for her, I wanted her when I carried her in my arms, when I put her in the car, when I drove to my dad's flat, all the time I always wanted her.
I'm just going to do justice because those bastards hurt an innocent and I know what they do with the girls that worked there.
The fire begins to grow inside me when I spotted my destination. I closed the car door and I let my body absorb my negative thoughts. I drained the bad part of wanting Lucy, which basically was that she could not feel the same or the fact that she might have feelings for someone else or the rejection that I can get from her. Rejection is the most painful part because her rejection is what I fear the most.
They already know me here so I don't have to show my ID. I go through the place and suddenly I feel back in the day when they hurt Lucy. That's exactly what I need, feed myself with that bad memory and pretend that she is still here.
I have a great idea. I headed to the bar and sat down. A very pretty red-haired girl smiled at me and I did the same.
"I want a cuban mojito," I said and she nodded.
I pretended to use my phone while waiting for the drink, the mojito glasses were big and I had an idea about that.
After a few minutes the girl handed me the mojito and I winked at her as I paid her.
"You look too young to be here," the girl spoke.
"Really?" I smiled and I needed to distract her. "That's not what they say here, baby."
"Hm, I see," she rested her arms on the bar and her clothes were too flashy and attractive. Basically she is dressed as a prostitute like every girl in this club.
"It's good," I said and put the glass to one side. "You're not so bad."
"You have beautiful eyes," she smiled.
"You also have a couple of beautiful things," I twisted a smile and my eyes went down to her tits.
I rested my arms on the table and the position of my arm was a little above the glass. The redhead looked at me and I leaned toward her. I moved my arm and pushed the glass. The glass broke on the floor and that's exactly what I need.
"Shit, I'm sorry," I pretended to be embarrassed and ashamed and bent down in front of the broken glass.
The girl has to clean this up so I have a few seconds. I picked medium sized glasses and a thick piece and I put it in my pocket. I looked up and the redhead is walking toward me. I'm sure she wants to continue the conversation so I grabbed a small glass and I made a little cut in my finger.
She crouched down in front of me and she was close than necessary.
"It doesn't matter," she shook her head as she picked up the glass. "You cut your finger."
"Yeah, I gotta go to the bathroom to see this," I got up and got out of there without looking back.
I went to the bathroom and washed my finger, it was a shallow cut just to show a bit of blood, I'm fine. I locked the door and pulled out the broken glass I had in my possession. I could make someone suffer with that, this is perfect.
I put the pieces of glass back into my pocket and walked a few steps just to make sure not to cause any noise with the material. Bob can't suspect about it but these glasses are not for him.
Bob has a thick book on his desk, that's where he writes all about the financial part of this place. This book is exactly what I need; I just hope the book is there.
I slid the hood of the jacket and made sure to be covering my face in a proper way. I left the bathroom and walked with my head down to Bob's office. The office is connected by a hallway, the entrance to this place is private. Two guards stood at the entrance and I instantly recognized them, these fucking idiots who had hurt Lucy.
"Hi, how are you two on this lovely day?" I asked with a fake smile and I can only imagine their faces when I bury these pieces of glass in their skins.
"We'll see if Bob is available."
"He better be because I have his fucking money," I spoke stressed.
One of the men nodded and then opened the door and got into the hallway.
I looked at my feet and started planning my strategy. If I leave Bob unconscious, I have a minute to prepare myself before these guys come for me. I will have to close the door and not let them escape, finish with them and run through the emergency door. That sounds good like a good plan, I can do it, I know.
I clasped my hands behind my back and one of the guards walked out the door.
"Bob is waiting for you," he told me and I followed him.
The hall is large and Bob's office is very separated from the entrance, which will give me time. I removed the hood and the man made a sign to Bob's office.
I opened the door and Bob was smiling behind his desk. I just smiled and kept my hands hidden in the pocket of my jeans.
I looked down at his desk and the thick book was there, I looked at my feet only to avoid suspicion.
"Finally, Harry," spoke Bob and I didn't express any emotion on my face.
"We're not playing here," I snapped and pulled out the wad of cash. "You can count it if you like."
"Yeah, sure, why not?" He smiled and I rolled my eyes.
Bob started counting the bills and this was my chance. I quickly grabbed the book and slammed against his ear. As far as I know some part of the ear is involved with balance so that was a good idea.
The money flew and Bob fell like a toy on the floor. I took my steps toward him, kicked him in the ribs a few times and then rested the tip of my boot on his neck.
"Motherfucker," Bob managed to speak.
"Come on Bob; don't tell me you thought you would get away with it. This is for Lucy and finally we have settled accounts, "I smiled and before he could speak I kicked him in the face and he fell unconscious.
Just to make sure I kicked him again in the face and then left the glasses on the shelf. I watched Bob's body for a moment and smiled. The feeling of satisfaction spread through every blood vessel.
I heard the knock on the entrance of the office and one of the guards opened the door. He looked at me and then at Bob's body on the floor.
"Close the door, don't be a coward," I spoke angrily.
"Okay," the security guard said and obeyed.
"You probably don't remember Lucy but this is for her."
"Is the girl with the glasses?" He asked and I clenched my fists and stepped back to take a position. "I'll take your silence as a yes. We enjoyed her crying and screaming. Bob didn't let us touch her, it was a shame because I would have loved to see her naked. "
My body and soul are transformed with each word spoken by him. The shots of adrenaline are what move me towards him in the most violent way than what I've thought. My mind becomes a very dark place and I tried to push his thoughts from me.
I dodged his right fist but he hit me with the left on the temple. I backed away groggy but I won't give up. I'm thinking about Lucy all the time, she is my motivation. I won't give up right now and I won't surrender without fighting for her.
I shook my head and adjusted vision. I slid to the side dodging another punch and this time I manage to attack the diaphragm and the neck. I sink my elbow into his neck one more time just to make sure. Those two points are perfect to affect the breathing. The man back away coughing and my boot lands on his jewelry.
I grabbed his neck and slammed my fist on his face again and again. When he is weak and nearly unconscious I walked to the shelf and grabbed the pieces of glass. One hand remained on his neck and the other buried the pieces in his hand. One by one, slow and deep. He swore weakly and I slid the tip of one of the glasses from his forehead to his chin, it was not a deep cut but he was bleeding.
I got up and the back of my hand wiped the blood off of my hurt temple. Just for satisfaction I kicked Bob in the face again and then I went to the door. I poked my head and the other guard was meters from me. I recognize him and he was the other men that hurt Lucy. He saw my face with the blood of my temple and he knew what I had done. I rushed and ran towards him. I used my body weight and pushed us against the wall.
He grabbed me by the neck and threw me to the ground. He hit my jaw twice and I started bleeding. I used my arms to protect from his punches and one of his hands grabbed my neck. I moved my head as I could and my teeth sank into his arm, penetrating his skin. The man screamed, his hand reflexively rested on the injured area. I clasped my hands and slammed it against his ear. It's so fun to play with the balance.
I quickly took advantage of this seconds and I jumped on him and crashed my knuckles on his face the best I could. The man fainted and I spit in his face.
I tried to catch my breath and I couldn't go out like this. I grabbed the collar of my shirt and wiped my mouth and the blood of my wound in the temple. My knuckles were also hurt and I have a bit of blood in my hands. I wiped my hands in the clothes of the fainted man and then I got up. I covered my head with the hood and hid my hands in the pockets.
What a great revenge, I thought before leaving through the front door. There were no guards because these two that I knocked out are the ones that stay here. I lowered my head and I spotted an emergency door. Everything was very dark here and my black clothes help me to mix between the people.
I pushed the door with my shoulder and walked down a short hallway before leaving the bar. The door leads to a dead end street, this is where they leave the garbage and that crap.
I walked with downcast eyes through the streets. I parked my car about six blocks from the club just as precaution.
I turned my head a couple of times and there is no one I can suspect, I'm sure I'm safe.
When I get to my car I kneel in front of it and spit blood. I smiled and I feel a big relief in my body. These men were obstacles, some of what I have to face to get Lucy. I have to be persistent and I will not stop and this was just the beginning.
The energy and hormones are still flowing for me and I would like to come back and beat them up again. They deserved it and I have no regrets. Everything I did it's for her and it was about time.
I take this as an act of love and respect because that is exactly how I feel for Lucy. She has been so brave, all the time and this was something that shouldn't happen to her. I needed to offer my part, I needed to redeem myself.
I turned off the alarm and got on the car. I drove home and rested my body on the seat once I parked the Jeep.
I'm sore but the happiness that cuts through me is much stronger. I opened the door and walked towards the grass to spit a little of blood.
My steps led me to the house and I knocked on the door. Louis opened and his smile faded when he saw my face.
"How do you plan to win a girl if your face looks horrible?"
"Is not that bad," I spoke quietly and walked in.
I collapsed on the couch and my muscles are pumping the pain due to the physical effort I made.
"Look what we did!" Louis shrieked and I opened my eyes and Zayn was in front of me but...dressed as a mariachi.
"This is a fucking joke," I smiled and my mouth hurt.
They both laughed and I shook my head softly.
"Lana had a friend and she helped us," said Louis and Zayn turned around to show the outfit.
"You guys are idiots," I muttered.
"Well, nice face," Zayn said.
"I don't think it's a good idea about the mariachis," I spoke and both rolled their eyes.
"Well, then we will dress as proteins or some shit like that," said Louis and Zayn took off the huge hat.
"I want to write a letter to Lucy."
"A letter?" Louis raised his eyebrows.
"I think it's simple, romantic and that way I can explain myself better. Gemma once received a letter from one of her boyfriends, I think it would be great."
"Fine," Tomlinson crossed his arms.
"I have something to tell you guys," I spoke low and decided to put it in short words because my jaw hurts. "I said the truth, I told Lucy about my feelings for her."
"Holy shit, I bet she slammed the door in your face."
"Exactly," I nodded and Louis shook his head in disappointment. "I thought that insert the idea so slowly was not going to work. I planned what to say and I rehearsed everything. It was okay but I knew I was not going to get an excellent reaction from her. "
"Write your letter and then we will have a meeting."
"Are you going to write it with your blood?" Zayn asked and I wiped my mouth. "That would be very romantic and creepy."
"You're funny," I rolled my eyes and then went upstairs.
I forgot to give Sherlock to Lucy and now I don't think she is willing to come for him after my confession.
"Hey Sherlock, don't be scare, it's me," I spoke and the hamster didn't pay attention to me. "I'll take a shower and then we will write a letter."
+
[Lucy]
"I still don't believe it, this is unbelievable!" Cassie exclaimed and I looked at the palms of my hands. "The whole situation, yours Mandy and you too, Lucy."
"We can focus on Lucy, she looks worse than me," said Mandy but I didn't react.
"You two are important, we need a plan to end with boys, I swear, Mandy..."
I ignored the conversation of my friends and I got up of the bench. We are in the court where we do physical education. My feet lead me around the place without certain destination.
I run my fingers over the skin of my arm and I blinked a few times without really looking at what's in front of me.
I am very lost and absent and I try to avoid it but Harry's words haunt me again and again. I can hear the echoes in my head and I wish I could turn them off.
His words brought anger and happiness, it’s completely opposite and irrational but everything inside me is fighting. I don't want to lose but win is not a bad option.
"Honestly she's not okay."
"Look at her."
"What the hell do we do?"
"Should we hit Harry?"
I heard the whispers of my friends and my arms wrapped around me. I closed my eyes and breathed trying to clear the thoughts. I thought about this, about his confession but I couldn't find the answers. I am unarmed and I don't know how I'll respond to this.
I haven't seen Harry and this makes it more difficult because I start to believe it is a fantasy and that he never really admitted to being in love with me. Maybe he is not real.
"It was very sweet all Harry said, I was in shock," I heard Mandy and she is the witness who makes it all more real.
I don't know if I should hate it but there is some hope sensation growing inside me but drowning at the same time. There is also sadness and uncertainty hovering over my body. It's all very confusing and there are two sides fighting. I don't know if I should believe, if I should go with the flow or if I should step back and close the doors and protect myself.
I'm angry at the world in a certain way; I don't understand why this is happening now. I think it's a conspiracy against me.
"Lucy," I heard my name and turned around. Mandy, Cassie and Billy were watching me.
"Let's have lunch."
"Not for me, thanks."
"I need to talk to you," Billy said and I looked at him.
"Billy is a spy," Cassie narrowed her eyes at him.
"Why?" I asked confused.
"Because Harry sent something for you and Billy have it," Cassie said. "Billy is a spy."
Harry sent something to me?
I swallowed hard and pressed my lips nervously.
"I don't want lunch, really. You go, I'll be fine. "
Mandy and Cassie exchanged glances and then nodded. I didn't want to go and their attempts would be in vain and they already knew that.
"Why did you bring something from Harry?"
"He thinks you need your space," Billy answered and I pressed my fingers onto my braid. "I also doubt you want to see him now."
"Yes, he's right," I nodded and my eyes threaten to release tears.
"Don't cry, hey. I think this will make you happy or solve your doubts, I don't know. "
I put my glasses in my pocket and then I rubbed my hands over my eyes and nodded, looking at the floor.
"What is it, Billy?"
"A letter," he reached out to me the letter and I was afraid to grab it.
In this paper there are words, words are powerful, violent weapons but can also be help and shelter for a person.
"Thanks," I spoke weakly and held the letter in my hands.
"I'll leave you alone and I think he really likes you Lucy, despite everything," Billy shrugged and then he left.
My fingers were shaking and my hands were sweating. I had no idea what can contain this letter, but it felt exciting and terrifying at the same time. Everything could happen.
I sat on the floor of the court and opened the letter. I took a quick look at everything that was written and at the top of the page there was a drawing of Sherlock on his little wheel made with crayons. It was really cute. I smiled and I was on the verge of tears. God, I need to stop and focus.
I rubbed my eyes, I took a deep breath and I put my glasses before start to reading.
Writing this was probably what I needed to do right now. I really want to talk about what happened a few days ago but I guess it would be best to start from the beginning. I don't have to repeat it and that's something that we only know but we didn't start in the best way. I was an idiot with all the letters, I was a rude and honestly I don't know how did you bear with me. Actually yes I know and it's because you've always been very patient and I want you to know I adore that about you. I was always making the pressure and you were scared and you pushed me away but you always came back. I didn't appreciate it at the time but now I can't wait to see you coming back, Lucy. I want you.
I thought that my game would work with you but of course I was very, very wrong. You were always so difficult and even now you are and I also adore that. I think you're always going to be a challenge because of your personality, you are shy, you keep things to yourself and it's hard for you to share what you think. I hope you know and it's best to write it here but you're a challenge that I'm not ready to give up.
Well, back to us and the past, we overcome some obstacles and finally we were together. It was difficult because you didn't know what to do and how to react and act, I think that was frustrating but slowly I started to leave everything I used to be. I was feeling very comfortable with you, I was changing and it was strange to me to feel that way and to get out of my comfortable zone. We spent almost every day together at school and it was wonderful. I probably had a crush on you since then but my mind was stubborn and I refused it because I knew about the inevitable end. Anyway, I'm writing here and I want you to know that Halloween, Christmas and New Year was amazing and I really appreciate everything and I look forward to sharing with you again. It doesn't matter if you end up high by accident because I will always take care of you. You're like a baby, Lucy, hehehe.
Okay so you asked me to say positive or negative things about you, I will focus on the positive because that's all that matters. I need you to know that I was clumsy, I was nervous and I didn't know how to answer well but now I guess I have a second chance if you're reading this. I would say that you are very nice with everyone and I adore your kindness. Also I adore how faithful you are, I know that you would never betray any of your friends or people around you. I like that you're determined, things between us weren't easy but you always tried. I should add that you were always there for me, you never pressed me and all I got from you were looks and cuddles and love and I miss that a lot. I love your sensibility, I was impressed when I told you about me and you cried, looking you so weak it certainly confused me a lot and I was intrigued at levels that I could not understand at the time but now I know, now I do. I have to say thank you because every time I was hurt or drunk you helped and I also did the same for you and I wouldn't think twice about doing it again. Now I realize all about you wouldn't make me doubt. There are no more barriers, Lucy, except the ones you want to establish but believe me I totally understand that.
This letter is intended to let you know that I am completely in love with you despite the time, the things and the obstacles. I knew it recently and I couldn’t stand for so long. You're probably curious how I found out. All the time directly or indirectly I was thinking about you, you were on my mind all the time, Lucy. First I thought it was guilt and the horrible thing that I did (kind of) but the truth is that you were always on my mind because I'm crazy about you. Crazy about your shyness, your stutter, your intelligence, your sensibility, your patience and kindness, for the book you have with your secrets and your list (I still remember), your desires, your fears, your aspirations and dreams, for all you have to share, for your fun and interesting facts about things we used to do, and your cute little freckles (I adore them) and the list could go on.
What impresses me the most and I am proud to say and write it is that I've fallen for you without the need to have you in my bed (of course you've been in my bed but you know what I mean) and you should know that never happened to me before. That's not a prejudice, Lucy, I said that it impresses me and I'm completely proud of the circumstances in which I've fallen in love with you. I don't think this feeling will go away so easily, I am sure and I have no doubt that I just want you, only you and that I'm in love of your personality, it's so simple but captivating.
I think that after saying all this I want you to know that I'll be waiting for you, Lucy. I hope you like the letter and I hope you think about it. We can take it slow, we can talk, there is no need to hurry and anyway I’m not going to give up so easily.
Yours, Harry (and Sherlock).
+
I waited so much for this letter, it took me so much to do it and I cried (only a few tears ok), well, that is it.
Bye, see you next week xoxox: '(