This chapter is from both povs, I hope you don't mind and like it.
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{Harry}
Zayn looks at me and for the first time I see the doubt in his eyes. I cannot believe he's doing this to me.
"Don't be a pussy, do it" I yelled over the music.
"I'm not a pussy but Lana will be mad!" Zayn replied and I rolled my eyes.
"Are you kidding? You guys are not even in a relationship! "
"But still!"
I'm seriously considering punching Zayn on the face.
"Fuck you, I'll do it"
"Are you going to do it or what?" The girl said, looking at me and I nod. "Great."
The girl fills a small glass with whiskey and places it between her breasts, her blouse is tight as her bra and that lets you do that. The thing of doing this is that you have to grab a glass and drink it but only using your mouth. I lean over her and I grab with my mouth the glass and I drink out all the liquid.
"You see?" I looked at Zayn with a smile and he pushes me aside.
"Let's do this!" He says and the girl pours whiskey on another small glass and leaves it between her breasts. Zayn leans over and takes the glass with his mouth and then drink it in one gulp. "WOW!" He shouts and I do the same.
"Next!" Says the girl and we move aside.
"Where the hell is Lana?" I ask to my friend.
"I don't know, I think dancing with her friends somewhere."
"Hey, we still have our glasses!" I say, noticing that both still hold our glasses.
"You're right!" He laughs and we make a toast. "We're so stupid"
"I feel stupid" I answer before taking a sip of my drink.
"We should do that!" Zayn points to a girl, she is a redhead and she's lying down with a tank top, you have to drink from her belly button. I love that game.
"What are we waiting for?" I giggled and headed quickly toward where the girl is.
A boy walks away and the girl is left alone. We stop in front of her and her eyes fixed on me.
"Harry?" She asks surprised.
"What?" I grimace, I don't understand.
"Don't you remember me?"
"Ahm no" I shrug.
"We want to drink!" Zayn squeals and she looks back at me.
"I'm Noelle" She said and I don't even know who she is. "I'm a friend of Gemma" she tells me while she's lying on the table.
"Really?"
"Well, um, yes, I was..." She answered while leaving the liquid fall on her navel. Zayn leans towards her and drinks all the liquid from her stomach in one gulp. She stifles a smile, maybe it gave her tickled.
"Really? Why? "
"It's a long story! Are you going to do it? "I nod and she returns to throw more drink at her belly button. I bend down and suck all the liquid from her skin and I lick my lips. Noelle looks at me while I raise my head and I have a feeling I know her better than I think.
"Do I know you?" I ask, dizzy.
"I think you know her," Zayn speaks.
"You know me," she states and all this combination of words makes me more dizzy. The redhead laughed at my expression and sits at the table. "You guys are drunk and yes Harry, you know me."
"You said you-you were a friend of my sister but I think--"
"Come here" She said and I obey, leaning toward her. "You handcuffed to your bed" I barely heard her voice but now I remember.
"Noelle!" I laugh and I don't know why. "So long!" I cut the distance between us so I can hug her.
"Your sister was pissed off because we fuck, don't you remember?" She giggles and I shake my head. I don't remember that, I'm barely able to think straight right now.
"You fucked her?" Zayn asks confused.
"I handcuffed her to my bed!" I reply with a stupid smile on my face.
"What!? I didn't know that!" My friend drops his mouth to the floor.
"Me neither," I feel so stupid and clumsy.
"Damn Harry! What the hell do you like to do in bed?" We laughed.
I pull away from Noelle and I stumble but I keep the balance. "Let's do something else" I tell Zayn and he accepted, starting to walk and I follow him from behind.
"Harry!" I hear her voice and I feel his hand on mine. I turn and Noelle leans towards my ear. "If you have nothing to do then, am, we could go my place!"
"Your place? What for?"I raise an eyebrow, not understanding what she means.
"My shift ends in an hour, I'm really bored and you are here and I'm pretty--!"
"Horny?" I finish the sentence for her and Noelle smiles, showing her teeth. She's quite gorgeous, and I know why I fucked her.
"So what you say? You can tie me back to bed! "I hear her voice over the music and her invitation is tempting.
"Harry!" I hear Malik's voice and he begins to pull me by the elbow.
"I'm sorry Noelle, we are not meant for each other, bye, hasta la vista!" I sang while Noelle dragging me away from her.
"Call me!" She screams and I nod but I'm not going to do it.
"I have ecstasy!" Zayn tells me when we stop in front of the bathroom.
"We're gonna die" I laugh. I have to stop laughing but I can't because ecstasy and alcohol is not a good combination.
"Let's do it!" He said and took out two pills from his pocket and handed me one.
"1, 2, 3!" We swallow the pill and drink the last sip of our glasses.
"Where are the others?" Malik spoke in my ear.
"I don't know" I reply and we stood there.
God, I don't even know where we are, I mean, I know we're in a bar but I can't remember the name of this place or address or whatever. Everything happened so fast, one minute I was sober and the other I was already drunk.
I drink the last sip of my drink and leave it on the floor. I want to feel the effect of ecstasy, I'm craving for that.
"Those girls are hot as hell!" Zayn points to a group of girls who are a few steps from us.
"What do you suggest?" I wonder even if I know what he's going to say.
"Duh, let's dance!"
"I thought Lana was going to be mad!"
"Who cares? We are young, come on! "He says before pulling me by my elbow towards the group of girls.
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The next morning I don't know how I'm alive but I am. My head hurts like hell and I have a bitter taste in the mouth.
I curl up in my sheets and Zayn is sleeping next to me. What the fuck? I don't understand what he's doing here if he has his own bed. I gently pushed my friend and he lets out a moan but still sleeping.
I cover my ears when my phone rings on the nightstand. The sound is unbearable for me.
I rub my eyes as I grab the phone. It is a message.
From: Emily.
Hello Pumpkin!
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To: Emily.
Fuck you.
I press the button 'send' and then I go back to sleep.
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When I wake the weather is perfect, a bit of sun filtered through my window but the air is cold. Zayn is no longer with me and I take the opportunity to stretch my muscles.
There is a small note on the nightstand, I grabbed the paper and I read. It's from Zayn.
Harry we're alive! I'm with Lana. Are we going to do something tonight? Call me. Z
Can't believe we are alive, it's funny I don't know why.
My stomach hurts, I don't think I will eat all day. I get up reluctantly and I wash my face in the bathroom. I'm just with boxers, I don't know how I got here last night and how I undressed myself but at least I'm still alive. But what a great night!
The house is empty and silence consumes this place. Niall is not here, Liam and Louis are with their family. Zayn was the only available yesterday and another group of friends that we have.
I head to the kitchen and make myself some coffee. While the water boils I take a pill against headache.
My muscles ache and I have some memories of last night. I have some memories of Zayn drinking with me, dancing with Zayn, I think he took off his shirt to impress a girl. That was stupid but we were drunk. I remember Zayn dragged me to a group of girls and then I don't know what happened. Maybe I kissed a girl or maybe not, I cannot remember.
"Shit," I mumble as I stir the coffee with the spoon.
I sit and close my eyes. I feel terrible but it was worth it. I try to drink some coffee but it has an awful taste. My stomach hurts even more I maybe I'm going to puke. Shit.
My phone pulls me out of my thoughts and I answer immediately.
"Hello pumpkin" Emily hums across the line.
"Will you stop calling me that? You know I don't like it"
"But your mother calls you like that!"
"So? I don't like. "
"Jesus Harry, apparently someone got up from the wrong side of the bed "She says and I know she's smiling. I close my eyes and I can imagine her face.
"Hangover"
"Really? How was it? "
"Excellent"
"Did you miss me?"
"Fuck you"
"I'll take that as a yes. Thanksgiving was yesterday, what did you do? I don't care anyway, but--"
"Nothing."
"Ha ha, I knew it!" She laughs, mocking me. "Let me guess, your mother called you and you didn't answer. Poor Harry, the looser because Marcel is the star. "
"Shut up," She always gets on my nerves.
"Remember last year?" Emily changes the subject and I appreciate that because otherwise we are going to argue about something.
Do you remember last year?"
"The turkey was delicious"
"Yes, yes, and you helped my mom to do it"
"Told you I was a good cook"
"You are a pussy for being a good cook."
"Whatever"
"I remember something else!" She said and I smirked. I know what she's talking about. "My mother was not home until 4am and we had sex that day in the dining room."
I remember that day very well, every little detail. I think I can even remember the moans and curses of Emily while I fucked her on the table. One of the best places to do it, if we are talking about rough sex, definitely.
"It was amazing"
"I was amazing"
"Yeah, right" I spit sarcastically.
"I don't know how we are not porn stars yet"
"Yes, me neither, we should do it" I joke. "So what about you? What did you do?"
"Nothing very interesting, I went out with my English friends and that is it."
'That is it' wouldn't be the right words when you're talking to Emily. She did something, I know.
"Where did you go?"
"At a bar, a nightclub, don't know."
"What the hell? You don't know or don't remember?" I asked sharply. My head hurts and talk about this doesn't help my mood.
"Lower your voice you idiot or I'll hang." She threatens me and I want to laugh in her face.
"I was just asking"
"No, you're jealous, typical."
"Why would I be jealous? Honestly I don't care."
"You expect me to believe that shit?" Emily laughs across the line and I want to hit the wall.
"It's time for you to know that not everyone revolve around you."
"Blah, blah, blah, yes of course Harry"
"You know what? I'm out--"
"You're jealous because you love me!"
"Why are we still talking about this? Why bring that up? "
"Say it."
Her voice, this situation, our conversation, her statement, everything makes me sick. I understand why I never call Emily she's so unbearable and annoying and somehow we always argue over shit.
"Shut up or I'll hang up."
"Oh Harry, don't do that, I'm so scared" She teases with sarcasm and god, I hate when she behaves as well.
"I made you a question! Was it too much to ask you for an answer? " I'm almost screaming on the phone.
"You want the truth?!" I pull away the cell from my ear because Emily is screaming. "I slept with someone! Are you happy? "Oh my god, is she serious? Slut.
"You're such a bitch"
"Oh yes I am," she chuckles. "And it was not just one but two!"
"You're crazy!" I shout back.
"You're dying of jealousy and you know it!"
And not only jealous but rage. I know we haven't made any promises ... but I don't know what to think about it, don't know what to say. This is one of the effects that Emily has on me, I can never think straight.
"Fuck you" I growled before hanging up.
I want to throw the phone out the window but I restrain myself. I breathe with my eyes closed, I am so angry with her, I'm always angry with Emily. Here's how things work, fight after fight. We don't have a relationship but I know that when she comes back she will come right into my arms, it's so obvious, Emily is so predictable but why she does this shit? She knows I get jealous, AH! Sometimes I forget how slut she can be.
I grab my phone to send a message.
To: Zayn
Where the fuck are you? We're going out tonight, get ready.
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{Lucy}
I don't know if I could call this home sweet home. I'm at home but I don't feel comfortable.
I slide my fingers over the books that are on my small shelf. My old room is still intact, perhaps dad was waiting for me to get bored and come back.
I push the stuffed animals on my bed and they fall to the ground. My old room looks like a little girl, it bothers me a bit is this the way the society see me? To be more specific this is how Harry sees me?
Speaking of Harry he hasn't called me, I called him a couple of times and he didn't answer. Rejection hurts and maybe he is busy so I'll wait for him to call me.
It has been two days since the last time I saw him and I miss him. It's only been 42 hours and I have this tightness in the chest, is it common? I guess people feel that way, I hope he also feels the same.
"Lucy, come here, we have hot chocolate!" I hear the voice of Christine, the girlfriend of my father, and I hide my face under a pillow.
I don't answer and she didn't call me back. I think she knows I don't like her. It's nothing against Christine but I want my dad single.
After a few minutes someone knocks on my door.
"Come in”
"You want hot chocolate sister?" Daniel asks, poking his head through the door.
"Sure, you did it?"
" Dad did it" Daniel sits on the bed and handed me a cup.
My brother is identical to my father while I look like my mother. Yet we share small details like hair color or freckles on our nose and cheekbones.
We drink small sips of the chocolate and chatted about his university. When I got here I found out that my brother has a girlfriend. I haven't met her yet but apparently I will today. It's funny because my brother wants my opinion on his girlfriend but I thought he knew that it honestly doesn't matter, if he is happy I'm happy. Also I'm not good at this, I'm barely able to communicate with people, I'm so unsociable.
"I'll go to a friend's house, do you want to go?"
Friend, people, social event, possibly my brother will end up drunk and he will be with his girlfriend and that means I will be alone. Ugh...
"Ahm Daniel—"
"Come on sis, it'll be fun. And I want you to go. " He smiles and know he's being honest. We haven't seen each other for months, I guess share something together it will be good.
I wish Harry was here so we could go together. He would drink, I would look at him and we would possibly laugh or something. His hand on mine and he probably would kiss me on the cheek. I miss him.
"So what do you say?" Daniel's voice brings me back to reality.
"Yeah, sure" I nod and drink more of my chocolate.
"Great! I'll call Luciana; I want you to meet her now. "
"Sounds g-good" I say before he leaves.
Meeting new people, this makes me very nervous.
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{Harry}
My ears are pumped and the music is quite strong. I talk to a couple of girls and tell them a joke. To be honest no one laughing except me. They are so boring. I roll my eyes and I wonder where is Zayn.
I walk away without saying goodbye and go straight to the bar. I drink tome three shots of tequila and a heat wave travels through my whole body. That was exactly what I needed.
A new song starts playing and my body starts to move through the crowd.
"Move!"
"Hey, watch out!" I hear the voice of a girl.
"Out of my way!" I bumped into someone as I slip between people.
There is no empty space, I'm somewhere and is really full. People, people everywhere, so many faces and the lights and music. I'm almost seeing double.
"My glass! Idiot! "I heard a girl complain and I chuckle.
"Get out of my way!" I push some guys and finally get to my destination.
I climb on the table and kick a glass, this falls to the ground. A girl climbs on other table and other girls does the same. People are screaming and dancing and this is really crazy.
"I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday!" I sing loudly like the crowd.
A guy gets rid of his shirt and throws it and I laugh. I sing and I don't care about anyone else, suddenly someone else gets on my table. I open my eyes and Lana is dancing with me.
"Want some Harry?" She's holding a glass on her hand. I nod and I drink it. Vodka, excellent.
"Where is Zayn?" I asked after a few seconds.
"I don't know!"
We keep dancing, not between us and then change the music to a something more modern. Heat increases here and a small drop of sweat falls from my forehead.
"Got it," says Lana, wiping the sweat from my skin. Her eyes meet mine and I lick my lips. I'm thirsty. I was about to get off the table but when I least expect she rushes towards me.
"What the hell?" I say, resting my hand on her mouth so she can't kiss me.
"What?"
"What," I repeat, not understanding the situation. I think she was going to kiss me, right?
"Don't you want to kiss me?"
"Uh, no." I answer and I staggered back. She grabs my hand and for my good luck I didn't fall off the table.
"Oh come on baby" She wraps her arms on my neck.
"Aren't you with Zayn?" I try to stay away from her but it's like when a snake is strangling you.
"So? I don't think you really care "
"We're in public!" I speak clumsily and she moves away from me.
"Come on," She grabs my hand and we get off of the table.
I don't know how but my feet are touching the ground.
"You can fuck me in the bathroom" I hear Lana say as we walk.
What the fuck?
I get rid of her touch and she looks at me.
"I'm serious," I think I'm seeing double but I try to stay strong.
I look Lana's neckline, I can see her bra and her breasts are big but honestly I'm not attracted or turned on for that, I think it's the alcohol.
"Is for your girlfriend? Lucy is not going to find out"
Girlfriend? Lucy? What? Lucy! Oh my god, Lucy is not here and I haven't called her! Shit!
"Yes, for her" I answer and I pull out my phone. I want to call Lucy but I see too many numbers in this damn keyboard.
"Wow, are you serious? You must have very good sex if you're telling me no. Good blowjobs?"
The simple fact of imagine Lucy giving blowjobs or having sex with her is really strange and I cannot help but laugh and feel turned on. I feel a heat wave, that left me horny and she's not even here and she never will know.
Lana looks at me with confusion on her eyes until I stop laughing and now I feel ashame because I have to tell the truth.
"Ahm, well ..." I giggled and Lana looks at me impatiently. " To be honest we haven't had sex--"
"Oh my god" I cover my ears because of her shrill voice. "What? You must be kidding! God who are you? "She laughs.
"I'm Harry Styles" I reply confused and she laughs even more.
"God bless you if you haven't had sex" She rests a hand on my shoulder. "I don't know how I was so stupid, that girl looks too quiet, you could never do it with her, you would have to wait until marriage"
I didn't want but I laugh with Lana. Her eyes find mine and she bites her lower lip. "Abstinence is not good Harry, let me make you feel good" Her fingers pull my curls and I feel one of her hands in my back pocket.
I don't give it a try, and I don't think she is pretty and the proposal doesn't make me horny.
"Ha ha nope" I reply and I walk away.
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{Lucy}
The little meeting with the friends of my brother turned out better than I expected. It was fun. We played poker, I won several times, we ate pizza and everyone drank but me. Daniel's girlfriend, Luciana, is beautiful and I know, our names are similar. She is Spanish and I can notice it in her face and in her features. She's nice. At first I felt bad because she was stunning, from her dress, body, her face and even her personality and I was only Lucy, the girl with a man's shirt.
Luciana was very nice and we chatted, she told me she was little shy but she could never be more shy than me.
I slept late like at 5 am and slept like a baby until the next day. Had lunch with my family and I went out to explore London with Daniel and his girlfriend.
I called Harry but he didn't answer. I'm feeling irritated and worried; I want to know what he's doing. Another person who hasn't called it's my mother, she was pissed off because I came here but she has to learn to accept my decisions. Mike sent me a message today, hoping I was okay and saying he missed me. It was very nice of him and I gladly replied.
"Tell me about yourself" Luciana said when my brother went to the bathroom. We are in a cafe.
"Ahm, I think- think you know everything, there's not much to say" I shrug.
"Oh come on, a quick chat girl to girl."
"Really there is nothing."
"Don't you have a boyfriend or something? You're a pretty girl" Luciana smiles.
"What? Me? Ahm, not pretty but, I have ... I have a boyfriend. "
"Really? I knew it! Daniel knows about this? "She asks with her strange accent.
"We haven't had time to talk about it" I answer and my fingers find the menu.
"Oh, I see. Maybe you should avoid the subject for now I think your brother might be a little jealous about it, you're his sister. "
"His only and little sister. You're right."
"What are you going to order?"
"Ahm, a coffee?" It's obvious that's why we're here.
"I'm so dumb" Luciana shakes her head in shame. "Lucy, and how much have you been with this boyfriend of yours?"
"Ahm, I know him for like 3 months and half ago"
"Oh, is he your first boyfriend? "I nod. "How sweet! I know your brother for a little more, in college and I guess he must have told you. "
"Sort of."
"What about you?"
"At a party..."
"I didn't think you were a party girl."
"I'm not; I just did it for my brother."
"Very sweet of you, he always talks about you, always. Lucinda Fray, 17 years old, wears glasses, long brown hair, likes comics, is a fan of Star Wars, never liked Barbies, she's very good poker player, Coldplay is one of her favorite bands, she's very shy, sensitive but intelligent and dedicated. "My mouth falls to the ground at the short description Luciana gave me.
"Can't believe it"
"I told you, he really talks about you. Why are you so shocked?"
"Since the divorce and since I left things ha-haven't been the same in the family."
"I know it's hard but I swear it hasn't been a day that Daniel doesn't speak about you."
"That makes me feel much better."
"I'm glad but tell me about your boyfriend, do you have a picture of him?"
"Ahm, yes." I admit ashamed. I search on my purse and pull the photo that we took at the coffee shop days before I leave.
"Holy shit," Luciana mutters, looking at the picture and then up at me. "Is he your boyfriend?"
"Um, yes, his name is-is Harry"
"Well Harry is very handsome and sexy and hot as hell" She states, handing the picture to me. I hold it in my hands and I look at Harry's face "How would you describe him?"
"What?"
"How would you describe him?" Luciana asked again.
How would I describe Harry? That’s a difficult question.
“Ahm, Harry is a...complicated boy. He's nice but the problem is that he can be bad when he wants. He gets easily irritated and he's a bit unstable. He has family problems and it hurts me that he lives alone. Although he doesn't show it I strongly believe that he only wants to receive affection, respect and love from his parents despite everything that happened. I... I honestly don't know the details of his conflict with his parents, but definitely made the person he is today. It makes me feel really bad and I want to be there for him. I don't think he's a bad person; he's affectionate when he wants, he's fun, attentive, observant, intelligent, discreet like me and mysterious I think. He is important to me, he makes me feel things I had never felt before, it's…it's awesome, he’s awesome. "I breathe when I finally finish the sentence.
"Oh, wow." Luciana exclaims. "Family problems are the worst."
"I know."
"My parents divorced when I was little, it definitely changes us" Luciana said with her eyes on the menu.
"Sorry about that."
"It's okay," She nods and looks at me. "I don't know but I have a feeling that you are quite different."
"I guess we are"
"The difference could bond two people together, even if a person chooses their partner for compatibility."
"I read about it, it's weird. I thought I would find someone more ... more like me."
"That's how love works" We look down at our menus and silence settles between us.
I have a phrase that echoes in my mind, it's about Harry, about Luciana, Daniel or me. People who have problems, problems that are not easy and somehow always chasing you.
"I think...that when someone has this kind of problem you can't save them you can only love them."
Luciana stares at me for a few seconds and then nods. "Wow Lucy, that was ... wow and you're absolutely right."
"I'm back" We heard Daniel behind us and both jumped. "Sorry for the delay, I met a friend Kate she's a few tables away from us." He says as he sits next to Luciana. "And what were you talking about?"
"We were talking about the coffee." I smile at Luciana's answer and we exchanged glances. I think we could be friends.
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{Harry}
"This is bullshit!" I growl as I walk between people.
"Wait idiot!" I hear Zayn, following me. "What's wrong?" He question when I stopped walking.
"I'm bored" I grunt and crossed my arms.
"What the hell? You're never bored "
"Well I am," I roll my eyes.
"Let's have a drink" he says and grabs me by the elbow and dragged me to the bar.
I obey reluctantly, Zayn order two tequila sunrises and I drink it. It's delicious but I can barely taste it, I've drank a lot.
"A girl is looking at you, you should talk to her" Zayn said looking over my shoulder.
"No."
"Why not?"
"I don't want to."
"Why not?"
"I don't know"
"You look like a fucking idiot, go! " Malik pushes me and I growled softly but do what he told me.
It's not hard to find the girl which Zayn its talking about. She is close to us and sitting alone. Her hair is long and brown, her face has freckles everywhere. The fact that she has freckles everywhere just reminds me of Lucy and I still haven't called or answered her calls, I'm the worst fake boyfriend of the universe.
"Hello" I greet reluctantly.
"Um, hi," she smiles shyly and her smile reminds me of Lucy.
"What's up?" I sit next to her and she's drinking small sips of her drink.
"You're cute" she says. Nobody could ever have the personality of Lucinda, little Lucy would never say that, not so straight to the point.
"Thanks"
"I'm a bit drunk" She gets off her seat and almost fell, luckily I manage to catch her in time. "Thanks" She giggles. "What do you like to do?"
"Why do you ask me that?"
"I'm bored, you're hot and I want to know you"
"Ugh, okay, I like drinking and go to parties, what about you?"
"The same. Do you have a favorite book or you are a caveman who doesn't read? "
"I like Sherlock."
"Me too." She nods excitedly.
"What? You can't like Sherlock "I frown, irritated.
"Why not?"
"Because Lucy likes it."
"Who is Lucy?"
Shit, shit. What am I doing? Why am I talking about Lucy?
"Forget it, why don't you go bother my friend?" I smirk, remembering that Zayn is also here.
"What?" She asks confused.
"My friend over there," I point to Zayn, he's talking to the bartender. "He is cute."
"He's sexy"
"Go there and bug him"
"What do I do? What do I say?"
"I don't know, anything."
She drinks from her glass in a gulp and handed it to me. "Um, okay"
She's so stupid, thank god she is drunk. She walks towards Zayn and sits next to him. He frowns at me and I laughed.
Actually I have nothing else to do, It's just me, Zayn and other friends. Liam, Louis and Niall still don't come back and I miss them and I miss Emily but I think I miss Lucy more. What? What?
I shake my head and ask for another drink, I just need to drink. My mind is not working properly, I only miss Lucy because we spent every day together and it is fun and ... yeah, I miss her.
"Oh my god!" I almost scream, hitting my forehead. "Auch" I rub the wound skin and it really hurt. Why did I hit myself?
"Do you think I should call Lucy? " I say to the bartender and he gives me a look of confusion.
"Who is Lucy?"
"My fake girlfriend, do you think I should call her?"
"Uh, yes," he says before leaving.
I think it's time for the call.
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{Lucy}
"Five more minutes," I muttered when I hear the sound of my cell.
I groan and hide my head under the pillow. My cell phone keeps ringing and is not an alarm. I turn on the bedside light and I put my glasses.
"What," I say, reading Harry's name in the screen. "Ha-Harry?"
"Hi!" He almost shouts across the line.
"Harry is-is 5 am, what's wrong?"
"I was just calling you!"
"And you decide to do it at 5 am?"
"Sorry, sorry" He apologized quickly and I rest my head on the pillow.
"I'm tired"
"And I miss you" His words ring in my ears and my heart melts at his confession. How sweet but still he hasn't called me at all these days.
"Me too" I yawn and left my glasses on the nightstand.
"I miss you!" He repeats and I chuckle. He's affectionate today, he must be drunk.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes, no, I mean, yes, yes" I laugh a little bit for his answer. "Don't laugh!"
"Sorry Harry," I close my eyes and I imagine his face. "What are you doing?"
"Walking to my house."
"What about your car?"
"I'm drunk, I can't drive, you wouldn't let me."
"Exactly, I-I wouldn't"
"Do you want to pick you up at the airport on Monday?"
"Sure," I have a stupid smile on my face. I wanted Harry to do
it, I am glad that he asked.
"What are you doing?"
"Sleeping"
"I'm sorry, should I hang?"
"Call me tomorrow okay? You haven't called me these days. "
"Sorry. I'll call you tomorrow. "
"Bye Harry”
"Don’t say goodbye, goodnight Lucy."
"Good night."
+
++
{Harry}
I don't know how I survived this weekend. I drank every day, my poor liver must be dying but I guess I deserve it.
My mom called me a few times but I didn't answer. Maybe she's pissed off like my sister because I didn't go to Thanksgiving. I don't really care.
Monday is so boring and I'm tired of everything. Everything's worse, nothing looks good. I talked to Lucy and I felt better but then when I hang up I felt like shit again.
I think karma is going to slap me once it's over. I like to share with Lucy and be with her but things shouldn't be like this. I like to be negative; I like to deny everything and drink to forget because that's a good choice. But the only positive thing is that there is nothing left. Christmas, New Year, January and goodbye. Time has flown by and my heart in my chest tightens. I'm shit but this is what I am, and this is all that I can be. Basically I don't deserve any of this, sometimes I question whether I should be living or not. I never think about killing myself but sometimes one can't help but questioning that.
I ignore Emily's calls and I try to participate in the conversation of the boys. I'm glad that Louis, Liam and Niall are back, we are all united as brothers by the same shit.
I tried to sleep with a girl but honestly it was a failure. I felt terrible and I wasn't interested at all. All I thought about was Emily and Lucy, what's wrong with me? I hate this. I like to play with girls but in the end they are the ones who play with me. Right now I'm leaving it to but I always get to a certain point, the climax, where I explode and everything goes to hell. There won't be long before my bad side comes to light, in the end is what I am.
I hate love but I feel it, just sucks. Relationships are failed attempts to me. I'm being pessimistic, and I like it.
I tore the wedding photo of my parents I had a save in a small box. I detest them.
Monday is the worst day and I feel terrible. My stomach hurts and I'm tired and my muscles are sore.
I ignore Louis when he start to talk about Lucy, wondering if she has a phobia, a fear so that we can use against her but I don't know and I don't want to ask. I know she doesn't like blood but what will he do with it? Throwing blood to Lucy? I don't think so and I wouldn't let him do it.
I put some sunglasses on despite the overcast day and head to the airport. Emily calls me back but I don't answer. I type a message when the light is red.
To: Emily.
Stop being a fucking bitch.
I turn on the radio and they're playing the Beatles. I can't help but smile, I like it and Lucy likes it too. I hum the song and I smoke a cigar while I'm driving.
I look at the sky and I miss the sun, I like these types of days but there's nothing like the sun on your face.
I parked and walked to the airport. I throw the cigarette on the floor and I fix my hair, sliding my fingers back.
I buy a bottle of water and I think Lucy will want some, she must be tired. Unfortunately I drank the whole bottle waiting, my throat is dry and my body still hurts, the effects of alcohol the next day.
My cell rings in my pocket and I read the Emily's message.
From: Emily.
Stop being a fucking bitch? Can we talk about you? Get your shit together because I hate it, see you soon.
Get my shit together? Impossible. I live for that, day after day.
One of those police dogs passes by me and I'm glad I left the cocaine inside the car, there is a delivery this week, kind of dangerous.
I hear the announcement of Lucy's fly and I twist a smile. I get up reluctantly, by the pain of my muscles, and walked to the departure gates. There are more people here and they all cry, hug and laugh and shit.
My foot hits the ground impatiently while I wait. I get a little nervous and increasingly impatient until I see her. She walks slowly, looking at both sides, her eyes seeking mine until our eyes met. It feels like an eternity since the last time I saw her and my heart hurts. I feel like the shit of these days melts away just for the fact I'm seeing Lucy. I forget for a moment how bad I feel and waved to her. A smile lights up her face and she accelerates her pace towards me.
She leaves her suitcase aside and jump towards me. It hurts a little but I am very impressed. My arms wrap around her waist and Lucy hides her face on my shoulder as the familiar scent of her shampoo flooded my senses.
"Hey Lucy"
"Hi" She smiles shyly and gets off. "Sorry about that." She blushes and I think it's the most adorable color I have seen in my life.
"Okay," I grab her little hand and with the other grabbed her suitcase.
"Are you okay? You look tired. "
Oh you know I just pass all these days at parties, drinking and playing. My body hurts and I'm a mess because alcohol drained all the energy from my body.
"I'm fine."
"I missed you" She admits, batting her eyelashes at me. I feel so bad, psychologically.
"Yeah, me too," I answer, finally telling the truth.
"So what do you want to do?" She asks me as we walk through the parking lot.
Time has passed so quickly and our expiry date is getting closer. I know I enjoy her company, and she's not as bad as I thought and we had a lot of fun. Life somehow it's about having fun, making mistakes, big mistakes in my case, and to know to get up and move on. We are at the stage of fun and almost jumping to the big mistake and then Lucy will get up and we will move on, away from each other. I strongly believe in that and it's what I want. So while we're having fun I think we should do it to the fullest.
"Harry what do you want to do?" Lucy asks again and gently squeezes my hand to get my attention.
We're having fun, enjoying the moment and I have earned her trust, which is the worst. I guess I can be honest with myself and say exactly what I want to do now.
So after thinking for a few seconds I answer:
"I want to be with you."
+
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Sorry for keeping you waiting so much but I've been busy. What do you guys think? We are getting to the end and I'm scared. I read your theories and they are not close to what I want to do and that scares me.
Question: What do you like to do in your free time? When it comes to me I like reading, shopping, writing and be on tumblr hehe. What about you?!
if you want to ask me something...the link is on my bio (ask). Love you xx