Warning: mention of suicide, depression
Hello!
I'm almost done finishing writing up a request!
But that's not what this note is about
I was on Tik Tok the other day and I came across a video that asked people when their last suicide attempt was.
The comments were genuinely heart breaking. Some said twenty years but one comment said three days.
It made me think of my own situation and how I've come through. My own journey hasn't been easy, but I'm here.
I'm not fully thriving, but I am alive and I am grateful.
It made me think of you and the realization that not everyone has somebody to rely on as a safety net to pull them out of the darkness..
So, I wanted to say this:
I love you.
Truly, Madly, Deeply.
I love you.
I appreciate you. Your presence does not go unseen in my life.
I appreciate you and I am so happy that you are still here!
Life isn't easy. Therapy isn't easy. Whoever told you "it'll get better soon" is a goddamn liar.
It won't be happening soon because healing isn't an overnight process.
But I need you to do me a favor. I need you to wait. I need you to ride out that wave, because soon you'll see that in the future there is a beautiful island coming up. You won't reach it over night.
But when you reach it, is up to you.
Don't let your thoughts break you. They are sinful lies that are betraying your healing process.
Don't let anyone tell you it doesn't get better. Because it does. It may not improve in a week from now. Or a month from now. Or even a year from now.
But I promise you it will.
Don't wait to win the lottery. Don't expect a raise at your job.
Don't wait for big things to happen because you'll only be disappointed.
Instead, take happiness from the little things.
Like that sweet satisfaction you get when your coffee tastes just right. Or when the sun shines through your window and it makes the floor warm. Take the time to sit down in that ray of sunshine.
Your darkness isn't going anywhere.
But, my love, please, please take this bit of advice. Take this candle with a strong flame and protect it.
Some days it will only be a spark. And that is okay. But please don't let that tear your world a part.
Again, I love you.
I love you 3000.
I love you-
Always.