"Okay, what the hell is happening here and why is there a camera?" Azalea asked, stepping into the dojo after a long flight from Hong Kong to see Rudy holding a yellow belt while Jack smirked at him.
"Zalee, you are back!" Jack ran over to her, picked her up and spun her around before leaning down to kiss her.
"Ew!" all the kids complained, looking at them in disgust.
"Agreed," Rudy said, "Ew!"
"Good to see you too, bro," Azalea walked over to give him a quick hug. "Now, can someone please tell me why there is cameras everywhere and why you are wearing a while belt.
"The grandmaster is a fraud," Rudy grumbled, "Which means I never got my black belt which means-"
"Jack is the highest ranked member of the dojo," Azalea finished, sensing that her boyfriend was behind this. He had told her that Rudy was a pain in the ass when it came to overlooking the tests he had to take to become a sensei and when Jack was annoyed he had a tendency to act out. "I was gone for like two months guys," she muttered.
A camera man walked closer to her and she sent him a glare, "Could someone please tell me why there are cameras everywhere?"
☆★☆
Day in the life of a dojo.
That's what the tv show they were apparently are starring in was called. Azalea was completely jet-lagged from her flight and just wanted a calm day with her boyfriend, brother and friends. Instead she got caught in the middle of a war between her brother and boyfriend.
"Okay, listen up, Jack," Azalea walked into Rudy's, now Jack's, office to see him drinking out of Rudy's 'World's Greatest Sensei' mug with a camera man filming him. "Okay, you, get out," she ordered the camera man who didn't even protest. "When you answer this question, remember that I'm exhausted after being on a flight for like half a day. What have you done?"
"It's just a harmless prank," Jack shrugged, "It's not like I'm gonna let Rudy think he isn't a real sensei forever."
"I get it, Jack," Azalea sighed, "Rudy can be a pain in the ass at times. But he always has a reason and before you know that reason you can't judge him. So fix this because Rudy is currently preparing himself to leave and we both know how miserable I am when he's miserable and whiny."
"Why do you always take his side?" Jack asked her.
"I don't always take his side," Azalea defended herself, "And I really don't want to fight with you when I've just come back. But Rudy isn't doing anything to purposely hurt you. You are hurting him right now."
Azalea walked over and leaned against the desk in front of him, "Not to mention that I know you are miserable trying to run this place."
"How do you know that?" Jack asked, not denying her statement.
"You mean except for the fact that I saw at least five people leaving your office in a hurry earlier with problems you didn't even know existed?" Azalea smirked, leaning down to kiss him.
She then pulled away and ran a hand through his hair, messing up his man-bun a little, "Rudy loves you - you know. You are like a brother to him and I think he's afraid that when he makes you sensei you won't need him anymore."
"That's ridiculous," Jack said, "I would never leave."
"Yeah, but we both know Rudy is the King of Ridiculous."
☆★☆
Azalea followed Jack and they reached Rudy just as he was about to leave the dojo, suitcases in hand. "Hey, Rudy," Jack stopped him.
Rudy dramatically put down the bag and turned around, "I'm leaving, Jack."
"You can't go. I need your help. I can't run this place," Jack told him and of course all of this was caught on camera.
"I'm just a yellow belt. Why would you need my help?" Rudy asked him.
"Technically, you are still a white belt," a little girl said.
"Not helping, Lily," Jack said pointedly.
"I like you," Azalea smiled at the little girl as she walked away.
"Look, Rudy," Jack sighed, "I was upset because you wouldn't make me a sensei. So, I got the grandmaster to come and pretend to be a fraud."
"Like any sensible and mature adult would do," Azalea snorted.
"But he's not," Jack continued, "He's the real thing and so are you."
"I knew it," Rudy exclaimed, "It's impossible to eat a four-pound wonton!"
"I feel like I'm missing something," Azalea frowned.
"Rudy, what I did was wrong," Jack admitted, "I know you have reasons for not making me sensei," he picked up Rudy's black belt, "and whatever they are - I respect them."
Rudy took the offered belt with a grateful smile. "Thank you."
"And balance has once again been restored. You are welcome."
☆★☆
Azalea grinned as she watched Rudy help Jack put on his new sensei gi-jacket. When it was on Jack bowed to Rudy who was at the verge of tears.
Jack hugged Milton and Jerry first and offered high fives to the children that were there for the ceremony. "A fair warning kids. This is going to be an ew-moment. So close your eyes."
When the kids closed their eyes Jack turned around and kissed Azalea firmly on the lips for a few seconds. Jerry whistled and the two started laughing as they pulled away from each other.
"Congratulations, sensei," Azalea smiled, "I'm so proud of you."
☆★☆
A few days later...
"I'm proud of us," Milton said a few days later as they gathered in the dojo, "Raising money for the Seaford Club for Boys shows that we have maturity."
"And we are classy," Jack added. "Look how much we got in the fart jar," he said, proudly placing the jar full of money on the counter.
"Yeah," Milton cheered, "We made a lot of money by making people put a dollar in the jar every time they ripped one."
"Classy," Azalea snorted.
"Wait, what?" Jerry frowned, "I've been paying a dollar to fart in the jar.
"No! Don't open that!" Azalea yelled when Jack was about to open the jar, stopping him right on time, "If you want your money you will open it on an open field far away from civilisation."
"Guys! I've got big news!" Rudy announced, stepping into the dojo dressed like a sailor.
"Your mother started dressing you again?" Jerry sassed.
Rudy looked down at his outfit with a frown, "Yes," he finally answered, "And, I'm buying a boat!"
"Boom!" Phil, who had arrived with Rudy, said when Rudy showed them a picture of a boat. "Picture us out on the boat going over the waves, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and-" Phil leaned over and vomited in a bucket. He turned to Rudy when he was done, "Why did you take me out on such a windy day?"
"All I need is another thousand bucks and it's mine," Rudy told them proudly.
"A boat, really?" Azalea asked, but it fell to deaf ears.
"Guys, I counted it. We have one thousand one hundred dollars," Milton told them.
"Ooh, thank you," Rudy took the jar from Milton and tried to walk away.
"Hey, we promised that money for the Seaford Club for Boys," Milton stopped him, "It's an after-school hang-out for troubled kids."
"Yeah, we are buying them all new furniture for their rec room," Jerry added, "They don't have any."
"You guys need a thousand for furniture?" Rudy asked disbelievingly.
Phil scoffed, "For a hundred dollars I can get you some beautiful stuff. My cousin owns the largest Hachmachistan furniture store in all of California."
"Wait, your cousin is Furniture Frank?" Jerry realised, "Oh, I love his commercials. That guy is crazy." He then told them about some weird commercial where Furniture Frank ate his beard.
"Eating his beard like that helps him sell furniture?" Jack asked.
"Oh, no, he's actually crazy," Phil told them.
"Just the guy we should buy stuff from," Azalea said sarcastically. Unfortunately, some people didn't get her sarcasm.
"Yeah, that's perfect," Rudy said, "The delinquents get their furniture and I get my boat." He walked away with their money and Azalea sighed, knowing this wasn't going to end well for anyone.
Joan walked out of the locker rooms, whistling and successfully turning their attention to her. She continued to whistle as she walked over to throw a dollar bill in an empty glass jar.
"Uh, Joan, that's a hundred dollar bill," Jerry told her.
"Yeah, do you need change for that?" Jack wondered.
"No, just did some crop dustin'." Joan said proudly before walking out.
"I don't know what that means. But I'm out of here," Azalea jumped off the counter and ran out of the dojo.
☆★☆
"I was this close!" Milton said dramatically to some at risk kids, "to landing in a club for delinquent boys myself."
"Yeah, between all the late nights reading and days spent playing Dungeons and Dragons we thought you were going to become a mob leader," Azalea said sarcastically, earning herself a playful shove from Jack.
"Be nice," he told her, "Let Milton have his moment."
"I swear he is telling the story about how he didn't pick up after his dog," Azalea said and two seconds later Milton exclaimed.
"And it was the footprint of a baby!"
"Told ya," Azalea smirked while Milton walked away to calm himself down.
"Guys, it was an honour to donate this furniture," Jerry told the same kids Milton had been talking to. "See, we would have come last Tuesday when it was delivered but we were on a boat, tubin'."
Jack shoved him, not so playfully, and gave Jerry a pointed look, "For charity." He then turned to the kids, "Uh, see, there is this group called, uh - Tubing for Tots," he said slowly, "Yeah, we tube for tots that can't tube for themselves."
"Great save, honey," Azalea told him sarcastically.
"Uh, I'd like to say a few words," Rudy gained everyone's attention, "Although this is a club for delinquent boys let out selfless generosity be a beacon of light in your empty lives."
"Dude, our lives aren't empty," one of the boys said.
"See, already making a difference," Rudy said sassily, "Buh-bye."
"This might become the first time you get beaten up by children," Azalea said pointedly just as another boy sat down on a chair that completely broke.
"Dude!" Rudy exclaimed, "Look what you did to our beautiful chair, man. You broke it! That thing cost us like twenty - hundred bucks."
"Well I suppose this is what you get for twenty hundred bucks," Azalea glared at him.
"I didn't do anything, man!" the kid defended himself, "This thing has got termites crawling out of it."
"Oh, boo-hoo," Jerry rolled his eyes, "One chair out of all the furniture we gave you has termites."
Another chair broke. Then a bookshelf.
"You see, Jerry," Azalea said between gritted teeth, "The thing about termites is that they spread!"
"Oh, boo-hoo," Jerry corrected, "Every single piece of furniture we got you has termites."
"Guys, we have got to hurry," Jack told them, "Let's get this furniture out of here before the termites spread to the rest of the house."
"Oh, relax. That's never gonna happen, Jack," Rudy said calmly and the next second parts of the ceiling and the walls collapsed.
"OUT OF MY WAY! SENSEIS AND BOAT OWNERS FIRST!"
☆★☆
"Rudy, we got the estimate to repair the Boys' Club," Azalea told her brother when he entered the dojo the next day, "And I think it's time to see your boat sail into the sunset without you."
She handed him the bill and Rudy sighed deeply. "And here is the bill to fumigate," Jack handed him another bill.
"Oh, this one should be a little better. I mean, how much can it cost to kill a couple of bu-uuuuh," Rudy looked at the bill in horror, "Kill a couple of buuuuuu."
"Rudy, it's gonna be all right," Milton tried to calm him.
"No, it's not, man," Rudy said, "It's gonna take us years to raise this kind of money."
"Yeah, but we don't have years," Jack reminded them, "If the money isn't in place by midnight tomorrow the city is going to condemn the building and auction off the property."
"Oh, problem solved," Rudy perked up, "Thank you, city."
"Rudy," Milton chastised.
Rudy's expression fell, "Well, I'm sure it's going to work out for 'em. There is thousands of places for them to go after school."
"Sorry, guys, there is absolutely no place for them to go after school," Jerry entered the dojo with the two boys who immediately started to mess around with the smoothie bar.
"You don't bring delinquents into your home!" Rudy yelled, "You can't trust them." He ran away and returned with a broomstick that he started to sweep towards the boys. "Shoo! Shoo!"
"Rudy, Rudy!" Azalea snatched the broom from him, "You can't do that."
"You are right," Rudy said, "They might try to steal the broom."
"Rudy, I think you are overreacting," Jack told him.
"No, I'm not!" Rudy defended, "I remember the delinquent from my school. Don't ask me how - but he was always running around the school blowing up toilets. You couldn't trust him."
"Oh, yeah, and you think these kids are like him?" Jack asked him just as the toilet exploded.
"Yes. Yes I do," Rudy said pointedly.
"Moments like this make me miss Hong Kong," Azalea sighed, looking at the chaos in horror.
"We've gotta get these kids out of here," Jack said, "They're gonna destroy this place."
"Well, if we don't raise the money to fix their club, they are gonna be here all the time," Milton panicked.
"How are we gonna raise thirteen thousand dollars?" Rudy asked rhetorically, "What are we gonna do? We gonna do a bake sale? A car wash? Telethon?"
"Ooh, actually, a telethon could work," Jerry said.
"Yeah, we could air it on public access TV," Milton jumped up on the idea.
"I can't think with all your yapping," Rudy snapped.
"I could get rock star Izzy Gunnar and some of his famous friends to preform."
"And that would give people an actual reason to donate," Azalea said, "That's actually a pretty good idea."
"And then we will get all the money we need," Jerry finished.
"I'VE GOT IT!" Rudy yelled, "We are having a telethon."
"What a brilliant idea, Rudy," Azalea rolled her eyes just as another toilet exploded.
"Let's work fast, everybody!" Rudy yelled, "Wr are down to one stall!"
☆★☆
Instead of helping the others in the telethon Azalea, Jack and Jerry had been tasked to watch the two delinquent boys. And considering that the two almost had destroyed the dojo they wanted them far away from there, which lead them to the bowling alley.
"I wish Rudy didn't make us watch these kids," Jack complained, "They've been messing with me all day." He was about to take a bite from his hotdog when he saw a worm inside it, "Look at this."
"Hey, maybe it wasn't them," Jerry reasoned, "Yo, Phil, have you been putting worms in your hotdogs?"
"Of course not. You know how expensive worms are?" Phil deadpanned.
"I find that oddly reassuring," Azalea admitted.
"Okay, maybe it was them," Jerry said to an annoyed Jack, "Look, bro, the only reason why they are messing with you is because you expect the worst out of them. And that's what they are gonna give you. See, whereas I treat them with respect and kindness-"
"Here is your ball, sir," Jesse smiled creepily, holding up a bowling ball.
"And that's what I get back," Jerry finished smugly. He ruffled Jesse's hair, "Thanks, little buddy."
Jerry prepared himself to throw when Jack asked Walt, "Hey, uh, why do you have quick-dry cement?"
"Jerry don't-" Azalea tried but it was too late. When Jerry threw the ball he flew with it, all the way to the bowling pins and knocked them over.
"That's probably the only strike Jerry's ever got," Azalea snorted out a laughter.
"You are encouraging them," Jack said sternly.
"It was fun," Azalea shrugged, "No harm down - well, except for Jerry."
☆★☆
After having taken the boys back to the dojo they attempted a new plan: to teach them karate. "Hup - hup," Jack said, walking behind the boys with his hands behind his back as they practiced simple punches. "All right, guys. Great job. Keep up the work."
Just then Jerry entered the dojo holding two bowling balls. "Uh, dude, why do you have two bowling balls?" Jack asked him.
"Oh, I glued this one to my other hand to balance me out," Jerry explained. "You know, without it, I just kept walking in circles."
"Genius move, man," Azalea told him.
"Yo, you two are actually doing karate with these monsters?" Jerry whispered so the boys couldn't hear him.
"Yeah, Jack thought it would be a good idea to teach them how to fight so they can hurt people properly," Azalea said sarcastically.
"They are not monsters," Jack argued, "I saw something in them that you two didn't see. If you channel their energy in a constructive way, they are too preoccupied to get into trouble. They are actually really great kids."
Jack walked over to the rock wall and the boys stopped their routine and turned to Jerry, "Sorry about the bowling ball," Walt apologised and Jerry took a step back.
"If we just found a way to channel our energy in a constructive way, we'd be too preoccupied to get into trouble," Jesse repeated Jack's words.
"Yeah, we are actually great kids," Walt finished.
"I sense a trap," Azalea whispered to Jerry.
"Hey, guys, let's hit this rock wall you wanted to try," Jack said to the boys, "So it's really simple. You just got to pick a grip and climb your way up."
"I have a bad feeling about this," Azalea continued as Jack climbed up the wall.
"Now, it gets a little trickier once you get near the top because-" Jack let out a small scream when one of the grips he had his feet on fell off, "That doesn't usually happen," Jack muttered and then another grip he was holding fell off, "You guys loosened the grips, didn't you?"
"Uh-huh," the boys chorused proudly.
"So that means that I'm gonna-" Jack realised.
"Uh-huh," they chorused again and Jack fell to the floor with a thud.
"Jack," Azalea ran over to her boyfriend and crouched down beside him.
The boys fist bumped and Jerry retreated, "Get back! Get back! I'm never letting you guys mess with me again!"
"Dude, hold that thought," Jesse said, "You've got a giant mosquito on your forehead."
"Wait what? Where?" Jerry panicked.
"Jerry don't-" Azalea was too late again and Jerry, who forgot about the bowling balls on his hands, knocked himself in the face and fell to the floor, "Did I get it?" he said in a dazed tone.
"Permanent brain damage, probably," Azalea walked over and crouched down beside him to make sure he didn't actually kill himself.
"Look out for the rat," Jesse shouted and in panic Jerry tried to stand. In the process he slammed the bowling ball down on Azalea's ankle, causing her to release a pained scream.
"You are both so dead," Azalea glared at the boys who scrambled away. When she tried to chase after them her ankle betrayed her and she ended up jumping around the dojo instead.
She ended up sitting down next to Jack who had his back leaned against the rock wall, "We are never having children," Azalea told him, "Never."
"Agreed," Jack said with a pained expression.
☆★☆
When Milton came running into the dojo telling them that Azalea and Jack needed to do one of their karate demos to music in order to raise money. Unfortunately, Jack was in a wheelchair after his fall and Azalea's foot was wrapped tightly in a bandage.
At first Azalea didn't think the telethon could have gone so bad and then she saw Rudy with his mouth covered in ice cream and she remembered who she was dealing with.
"What happened?" Rudy asked in horror when he saw Jack's leg and her foot.
"Walt and Jesse are what happened," Jerry said.
"They've been terrorising us all day," Jack added.
"Rudy, there is only one thing we can do," Milton said dramatically before ripping off his clothes to reveal a spangled stage outfit, "Tap!"
Someone threw a matching hat to Milton and Yankee Doodle Dandy started playing as Milton preformed a tap number.
"I don't believe it!" Rudy exclaimed, looking at the screen that counted the money they had collected, "We are making money!"
But of course Walt and Jesse had to screw it up by somehow getting ahold of the fake pearl necklace around Joan's neck. They threw it on the stage and it broke, causing Milton to trip over the pearls and crash into a table.
"Okay, that's it," Azalea stood up but was pulled back and down into Jack's lap.
He wrapped his arms around her waist, "Let Rudy handle this," he whispered, holding her tightly so she couldn't throttle the boys.
"What is wrong with you two? We are trying to help you," Rudy yelled angrily.
"No, you are not," Walt said, "We heard what you said in the dojo. The only reason why you are trying to save the club is to get rid of us delinquents."
"Yeah," Jesse agreed, "You don't even care about us."
Jerry gasped, "How dare you? I farted in a jar for you," he pointed at them, forgetting the bowling balls again and this time it caused him to fall off his chair.
"Yeah, and we gave you furniture," Jack added.
"Cheap furniture full of termites," Walt deadpanned.
"Well, we needed the extra money for the boat," Rudy defended pathetically.
"You are not making us look better," Azalea told him.
"We thought you were different," Walt said, "I mean, you are a sensei. You care about these guys. We thought you'd care about us too."
"But you are just like everybody else," Jesse finished.
"To be fair he has to care about me or mom would kill him," Azalea told them, actually feeling sorry for the boys.
Jesse and Walt started to walk away and Rudy jumped up the stage and grabbed a microphone. "Hey, everyone, could I have your attention?" he asked the crowd while Joan started to play the piano, "The whole reason we are holding this telethon us to save the Seaford Club for Boys. And two of those boys are with us tonight. Are they bad kids?" he asked rhetorically before chuckling, "Oh, yeah, they are bad. The worst! These kids are like-"
"RUDY!" Azalea said sternly, "You are getting off topic."
Rudy sighed, "But it doesn't matter. We made a commitment. And when you set out to do something good for someone, you do it, you follow through - and you don't buy yourself a really nice boat just to get ladies. And that's why anyone who donates ten dollars right now will be entered in a raffle to win this boat."
Joan appeared with a picture of the boat, "It floats in water!"
Suddenly all the phones started ringing in with donations. "Oh, thank god, I hated that boat."
☆★☆
"All the new stuff they gave us is really cool," Walt admitted while looking around their new club room that was filled with new furniture, an Xbox, a pool table and many more things.
"But do you think they will ever let us use it?" Jesse asked, looking at the couch where Jack and Jerry were playing video games.
"Oh, I love this place," Jerry exclaimed, "Do we ever have to leave?"
"I don't see why," Jack said, completely focused on the game.
"Ooh, if I knew how awesome this place was going to be, I totally would have been a delinquent," Milton told them, "In fact, I'm going to start right now." He looked around and then he picked up his milkshake, "Ah, check it out, people," he placed it on the table, "No coaster! Ha!"
Jerry and Jack paused their game and looked at Milton who started to fidget. "That's kind of bothers me too," Azalea, who sat on the armchair, said while Milton looked ready to explode.
"Oh, who am I kidding? I don't want to leave a ring!" Milton cried out, placing the drink back on the coaster while drying off the ring with his arm.
"Hey, guys, thanks for everything you did," Walt thanked them, "This is really great."
"We talked about it," Jack told them while standing up, "This isn't just a once a year thing. You guys are welcome to the dojo anytime."
"We are sorry we caused so much trouble," Jesse apologised.
"Well, we kind of deserved it," Milton said dismissively, "But we are all even, right?"
Just then the toilet exploded and Rudy jumped through the smoke, "Ha Ha! Now we are even!"
"Is there a Club for idiots?"
____________
Azalea's Outfit