Eddie, Milton and Azalea were busy stretching while Jack was rummaging through his bag when Jerry walked in with Phil's niece, Mika, that he was still desperately trying to impress.
"Ah, here it is, Mika," Jerry said, "This is the place where I got my black belt and beat down Jack," he said and Jack stood up, causing Jerry to realise that he was there, "Oh, hey Jack."
Jerry took one more step before his eyes widened and he turned around to look at Jack and then Mika, "Uh, we should probably go, Mika."
"No, no, no, no," Jack stopped him with a smirk, "Why don't you show her how you beat me down?"
"Uh, see I —" Jerry stuttered while Jack backed him up on the mat, "The thing is I don't, I don't really remember."
"Oh, I do," Jack smirked, "First he got me in an arm lock. Like this," he put Jerry in an armlock.
"Then he gave you a front snap kick," Milton added and Jack did as he said, kicking Jerry in the stomach.
"And then he flipped you," Eddie finished with a wide grin.
"What. No!-"
Jack easily flipped Jerry over his shoulder and Jerry groaned in pain when he hit the ground while Mika clapped, "Wow, you are very excellent fighter, Jerry."
"Are you proud of yourself now? Do you feel manly?" Azalea crossed her arms and looked at Jack but before he could respond, Rudy ran out of his office.
"Hey, Bobby us on his way over here!"
"What is this Bobby?" Mika asked as the rest of them walked to the door to greet him.
"Oh, he's the rich guy who owns the dojo," Jerry explained, "Whenever he visits, he makes the most insane over the top entrances."
Just then Bobby who walked into the dojo with a pout, throwing himself on the pile of the mats, head first. "Okay, not one of his bests," Jerry said.
"Bobby? What is the matter?" Eddie asked him, patting his back.
"I'm lonely!" Bobby shouted, his scream muffled by the mats and then he stood up again.
"But why are you lonely?" Mika asked, "Do you not have a girlfriend?"
"Excuse me!" Bobby said in offence, "I am Bobby Wasabi. And no, I have no girlfriend."
"Wait, well, that's it," Rudy said, "That's what you need. I'm gonna help you find a girlfriend."
"You can't even find one for yourself," Azalea deadpanned and Rudy shoved her away, causing her to crash into Jack, in order to shut her up.
"You will?" Bobby asked hopefully.
"Trust me, Bobby, I've got your back," Rudy reassured him, "Because if there is one thing I know — it's how to deal with the crushing blow of loneliness."
"Why don't the two of you get married?" Azalea snorted, "It would solve both of your problems."
"It is Tuesday. Come to Falafel Phil's," Mika suggested, "It is singles' night."
"Ooohh," Bobby chuckled, "Falafel."
"Forget Falafel," Jack sat down next to him on the bench, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, "We are gonna find you a lady. And how hard could it be? You are smart, an ex-movie star and really, really —"
"Handsome," Bobby finished.
"I was gonna say rich," Jack admitted.
"Rich and handsome it is!"
"The problem isn't finding a woman, it's keeping her around for more than five minutes."
☆★☆
"This is your night," Rudy told Bobby who was dressed in a suit as they all attended singles' night, "And I'm your wingman. And I will never leave your side until we find you a woman."
"I — uh, noticed you when you came in," a girl flirted with Rudy, "You wanna get out of here and grab some fro-yo."
"Good night and good luck," Rudy said, attempting to walk away with the girl when Azalea grabbed his arm to stop him.
"Get me some froyo or I will embarrass the hell out of you," she told him before allowing Rudy to leave, knowing that he would return home later with some froyo.
But instead of watching Bobby's attempts to find a girlfriend crash and burn she left him with Jerry, choosing to help Mika with the customers instead.
"So, has anyone here caught your eye yet?" Mika bumped her shoulder.
"Eh, no, not really," Azalea gave her a small smile, scanning the area for a missing boy.
"Oh, so you are not looking for a special pretty boy with long hair?" Mika teased her and Azalea's eyes widened a little but she didn't have time to respond as Jerry danced over to them and leaned against the counter.
"What it do, girl?" he asked Mika with a flirty smile and when she grinned at him he danced back.
"Really?" Azalea asked in disbelief, not understanding what Mika saw in Jerry. But considering she saw Jerry as more of a brother figure, that wasn't weird.
"All of us don't go for the black belt," Mika winked and then they watched Bobby try to mimic Jerry's dance movements and failing terribly when trying to flirt with a woman.
"Guys, great news!" Jack exclaimed as he ran into the restaurant, "This woman, Leona, came to the dojo and she is a huge martial arts fan. She insisted on meeting you right away, Bobby."
"Really?" Bobby asked hopefully.
"You are gonna love her," Jack promised him, "She even has her own ninjas."
"Well, that's a warning sign," Azalea muttered while Bobby let out a sound of approval. The door to Falafel Phil's opened and a few ninja jumped in followed by a beautiful woman.
"Hello, Bobby. I'm Leona," she introduced herself.
"What it do, Leona?" Bobby flirted, trying but failing to look cool.
"You're what it do, Bobby," Leona flirted back.
"Eew," Azalea said, leaning against a table next to Jack who looked extremely smug.
"Did you hear that? Apparently I am what it do!" Bobby shouted to the woman he had failed to flirt with earlier, "Ha!"
☆★☆
"You look the wrist," Rudy and Jack were demonstrating a karate movement when they heard screaming outside the dojo which was followed by feathers falling from the sky. "What is that noise?"
"It's a giant flock of doves lowering Bobby into the courtyard," Eddie said, looking up at the sky.
"That sounds about right," Milton muttered.
"Lower, my doves," Bobby ordered while seated in a chair that was sinking down, "Lower!"
"There is like a thousand doves up there," Jack said in disbelief.
"Oh, actually it's 1500," Bobby told them, "I haven't been a thousand doves since high school."
"Am I the only one that is thinking about the consequences of having 1500 doves flying above the courtyard where we sometimes eat?" Azalea asked, just imagining the mess.
"I take it the date went well," Rudy said.
"Oh — you might say that," Bobby said with a dopey smile, "In two days, I am — getting married."
"WHAT?!" all of them exclaimed in surprise.
"Bobby, this is crazy," Rudy told him, "You can't just jump into something like this."
"Yeah, the only reason to get married within two days of having met is if one of you have a week left to live," Azalea exclaimed, "and even then it's madness. You can't do this."
"Absolutely not," Milton agreed, "There are a lot of decisions to make. The music, invitations."
"The flowers, the food," Mika added.
"Where to sit that crazy aunt that smells like ham," Milton continued.
"Excuse me, I do not have an aunt that smells like ham," Bobby stated.
"Yeah, you do," Jack snorted.
"Well, Milton, Mika," Bobby said, "you will plan my wedding."
"And I can sing," Eddie said excitedly, "Hey, I've done a lot of-"
"Bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah," Milton interrupted him, "Not gonna happen, Eddie. We are hiring a professional."
"Come on, Milton," Eddie begged, "Who do you really-"
"Don't make me 'bah bah bah' you again," Milton warned him.
"Bobby, you can't just marry the first woman who gives you attention. I mean, I haven't even met her," Rudy tried to talk some sense into him.
"I never thought I would say this," Azalea said, "But listen to Rudy, he is right."
"Oh, well, that's a shame because I was going to ask if you'd be my best men," Bobby said causally.
"I accept!" Rudy clapped, "We are getting married!"
"Don't listen to Rudy, he's an idiot," Azalea changed her mind as the two started to jump up and down like teenage girls, "Or just marry each other."
"Come on, Azalea," Jack rolled his eyes, "Be happy for Bobby, this might be his only shot."
"Am I the only one who thinks this is a bit weird?" Azalea wondered before turning to Bobby, "Please tell me that you are getting a prenup. Remember that fifty percent of all marriages end in a divorce."
"Do you have to be so cynical?" Jack asked her.
"I'm sorry for being the only realistic one in this dojo."
☆★☆
It was the day of Bobby's wedding and everyone was taking it differently. Milton for example was turning into a crazy dictator. "Come on people, let's move it! The wedding is in three hours!" he shouted, "You, sweep under those tables. You, fix those napkins. And you, I told you I didn't want you in here. You have one of those," Milton stopped like he was trying to find the right word, "Stay-in-the-kitchen, kind of faces. Now let's go!"
"Before this day is over, someone will at least have tried to kill him," Azalea muttered, leaning against a table next to Rudy who was preparing his speech.
"What happened to the shrimp puffs?" Mika asked, "I put whole tray out here."
"Wait, do you mean the bay shrimp wrapped in a phyllo dough crust tied together with baby asparagus spears?" Rudy asked her.
"Yes," Mika said with an angry scowl.
"Haven't seen them," Rudy said innocently and Mika growled before stalking away while Azalea followed, hoping to help with something.
"Soo," Mika said with a small smile as they walked through the mansion, "Do you have a date for wedding?"
"Nope," Azalea shrugged casually.
"Jack didn't ask you?"
"Why would he? We are broken up, just friends and I was already invited," Azalea said causing Mika to roll her eyes at the red haired girl.
"You are a very smart girl, Lea," Mika told her, "But sometimes you are slower than a goat?"
"Are goats slow?" Azalea asked with a frown, "Because the one that butted Rudy in the ass when I was ten was pretty fast," she laughed at the memory.
Mika muttered something in another language as the two girls made their way back to the venue when Eddie caught up with them and once again begged Mika if he could sing.
"Eddie, we have hired a professional singer," Mika told him, "Give rest to it already."
"But when I sing in the shower, my mom says I have the voice of an angel," Eddie said confidently.
"Well, when I plan a wedding in a shower, you can sing," Milton told him with a sarcastic smile that fell when Mika started to shake the table, "Excuse me, Mika. What are you doing?"
"Oh, making sure that the table is strong enough for the goat to dance on," Mika explained.
"There actually is a goat here?" Azalea said in disbelief.
"No, no, no. There are no goats dancing in American weddings, hon," Milton said and then the two of them started to speak Hachmaki in unison, screaming at each other until Mika stormed away.
"What the hell just happened," Azalea shared a confused look with Eddie.
"You speak Hachmaki?" Eddie asked Milton in disbelief.
"Not a word," Milton shrugged before walking away just as Rudy walked back into the room.
"I have got to find that woman. She is the one," Rudy said confidently.
"What woman? I was gone for like two minutes," Azalea frowned.
"There is nothing on this green earth that will keep me from making her mine," Rudy continued.
"Oh, Rudy, there you are," Bobby walked into the venue, "I want you to meet my bride-to-be. The love of my life — Leona."
Leona entered the room, walking over to hug Bobby while Rudy fell down to his knees and screamed, "NOOOO!" which made all of them look at him weirdly, "Way! I am so happy for you. Till death? Wow! That's forever! And ever! And ever! And ever."
Rudy looked ready to cry as he walked away, repeating 'and ever' over and over again.
"I haven't seen him like this since the goat butted him."
☆★☆
"I'm telling you, little shrimp puff, there was a spark between me and her. It was undeniable. But now I've lost everything. You are all I have left," Rudy told the shrimp puff before eating it, followed by sobbing, "Oh, no! Now I'm all alone!"
"This is the most pathetic thing I've seen in my entire life," Azalea said a little uncomfortable as Rudy laid his head on the table and cried, patting his shoulder. She was truly terrible at comforting people.
"Are you still crying to the shrimp puffs about the woman you lost?" Eddie asked as he entered the room.
"Yes," Rudy cried.
"If you are so broken-hearted about this woman, why don't you just find her and tell her how you feel?" Eddie suggested.
"No, that's a terrible idea," Azalea said quickly.
"Because my fair maiden is betrothed to another," Rudy said in an attempt to a British accent.
"She can pick whoever she wants," Eddie continued and Azalea sent him a glare that he ignored, "But you will never forgive yourself if you don't tell her what's in your heart."
"No, that's not what you want to do," Azalea told her brother, "It may hurt now Rudy, but one day you will get over it. She is happy with someone else and her life will probably be much better without you. I know that's a terrible thing to say, but sometimes when you love someone you have to set them free."
"You know what, Eddie?" Rudy said, ignoring his sister's words.
"It's like talking to a wall."
"You are right," Rudy continued, "I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna find her and tell her how I feel."
"Rudy this is the worse idea ev— and he left," Azalea sighed when her brother ran off. She turned around and glared at Eddie. "Am I the only one here that can connect the dots and read between the lines?"
"What do you mean?" Eddie asked confusedly.
"Rudy met a hot woman at the mansion and screamed when he saw Bobby's fiancé for the first time," Azalea deadpanned, "You know, it's exhausting to carry around all the brain cells this group has."
"Where in the heck is the wedding singer?" Milton asked loudly as he and Mika walked into the room.
"The fired him and hired Eddie," Mika explained and Milton stopped dead in his tracks.
"What?!"
"He broke me down," Mika said and Eddie gave Milton a happy pat on the shoulder before walking away while the red haired boy breathed slowly.
"Well, there goes my wedding planning career," Milton said, sitting down next to Azalea, "Might as well smash the ice sculptures, throw the plates against the wall and let a pack of wild hyenas chase the crowd into the pool."
"Now, that's a wedding."
"There is hyenas?" Azalea asked before realising something else, "And where the hell is Jack and Jerry?"
☆★☆
Azalea stood next to Mika watching Milton show an elderly lady to her seat before approaching them, looking ready to scream, "That was Bobby's hammy aunt. Gah! This wedding is a disaster. Jack and Jerry are missing, the toilet is clogged up with a shoe and Eddie is about to start singing."
"Well, at least there is no hyenas here to chase the guests into the pool," Azalea said.
"Yeah, and on the bright side, that should clear out the place pretty quick," Mika added and Milton gave them a sarcastic smile.
"How come you haven't had a panic attack yet?" Milton asked Azalea who was suspiciously calm.
"Oh, because in my head I'm not here," Azalea said, "and if had been the one to plan this you would have had to call an ambulance hours ago."
The sound of Eddie playing the saxophone ended their conversation as jazz music rang through the hall, "Okay, why was that kind of good," Azalea said impressed.
Eddie then started to sing, "Before Bobby met Leona, there was a pit deep inside his wasabi soul," he sang, "That he kept trying to fill with ninjas and costly toys. But then Leona came along," he continued as Mika walked over and handed him a note, "Oh, hang on, I'm getting a note," he sang, "If you are driving a grey station wagon your lights are on."
The guests applauded and Eddie took his bows. "Milton," Bobby called, "When my mother gets here, don't let her near the cheese platter. She has a gastro situation. And I do not want to hear 'you may now kiss the-" he mimicked a foghorn at the end.
Suddenly 'Here Comes the Bride' started playing and the doors opened to reveal Leona walk in in a white dress with a veil covering her face completely.
"Oh no, she is early," Milton panicked, "Bride walking. Bride walking. The minister isn't even here yet," he looked around before pushing Azalea up on the podium where Bobby stood, "Do something."
"What? I can't marry them. I can't even get married myself," Azalea whisper-yelled as Leona joined them at the podium.
"Improvise." Milton whisper-yelled back.
"Eeeeeh — We are gathered here today to join Bobby and Leona in marriage," Azalea said, trying desperately to remember what people were supposed to say in these situations because her head was completely blank, "If anyone sees any reason that these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."
"Objection, your honour!" Rudy screamed, storming into the room and all the guests gasped.
"Eh, overruled?" Azalea said, looking at Milton for help.
"I am in love with the woman that Bobby Wasabi is about to marry!" Rudy shouted, running forward.
"Rudy, you haven't even known her a day. If you think you are in love already you are even dumber than he is," Azalea motioned to Bobby, "The priest has spoken."
"Rudy. What is the meaning of this?" Bobby asked angrily.
"I'm sorry, Bobby," Rudy said, stopping in front of the bride, "Leona, from the moment that I met you my heart has been bearing like a bongo. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you," he took her hand, "Hairy knuckles and all."
"This is awkward."
"Leona, will you marry me?" Rudy went down on one knee but Leona shook her head in response, "Okay. Now that we know where everyone stands, I will resume my duties a best man. Carry on."
"Leona, my love," Bobby said, ignoring what had just happened, "I declare today, in front of all these people, my eternal love. We shall forever be one as I seal my vow with this kiss."
Bobby lifted up her veil to reveal that it was in fact Jerry who was hiding underneath it and let out a horrified scream and so did both Jerry, Rudy and all the others in the room.
"Uh, I don't think I can marry you two because that would be child marriage and that's illegal," Azalea said, trying to not laugh at the bizarre situation.
"She is all yours, Rudy," Bobby announced.
"No way, Wasabi," Rudy shook his head.
"Bobby, Leona is the black-belt-widow," Jerry said, "She wants to marry you so she can get rid of you and steal all your money."
"What?!"
The doors opened and Leona ran in, dressed in a white dress and veil, "Bobby, it's not true!" she said and the guests gasped, "Don't listen to them," she ran forward.
"Leona," Bobby said, "What is Jerry talking about."
"Bobby, I love you with all my heart," Leona said desperately and Bobby completely bought it, "Now quick, put this ring on."
"Oh," Bobby was about to put the ring on when one of Leona's ninjas kicked it out of his hand so it flew across the room and landed in a vase with flowers that died immediately.
"This is starting seem like the Red Wedding," Azalea looked at the flower in horror.
"What did you do, you fool?" Leona asked the ninja who took of his hooded cowl to reveal Jack.
"It's called saving my friend's life," Jack said coolly.
"Jack! You have ruined everything!" Leona said angrily, "Get him!"
Leona's ninjas stormed into the wedding venue and they all prepared for a fight. "Eddie! Sing something. Maybe people won't notice!" Milton ordered and Eddie started to sing his own cover of 'Kung Fu Fighting.'
Azalea started to help Jack fight of the ninjas when Mika's voice rang across the room, "Milton, the cake!"
Azalea had two ninjas of her own she had to fight and doing it in heels and a dress was definitely not easy. Meanwhile Bobby was sending all of his ninjas to Rudy as a revenge for trying to steal his bride at the same time as Jerry and Leona were fighting.
Azalea managed to flip one of the ninjas over, causing him to land and break a few chairs while she kicked the other one in the stomach, sending him flying away.
"I hate dresses," Azalea said, "and heels."
"Hey, Jack be ninja 3:00," Eddie sang and Jack managed to turn around in time to block the ninja's attack and send him flying to the floor, "How much did that move rock?"
Jerry was about to get defeated by Leona when Bobby walked over and grabbed her arm, "I don't think so, honey," he said before throwing her across the room, sending her crashing into the wedding cake."
"Thank you!" Eddie said, taking his bows as the police arrived to take the ninjas and Leona away. They picked Leona off the floor to reveal her face covered in cake.
"Oh, Leona. The dreams I had for us," Bobby said sadly, "The places we were going to go. The things we were going to do. Why? Why would you do this to me?"
"Because I'm a very, very bad girl," Leona cooed.
"And I'm gonna hurl," Azalea muttered in disgust.
"Oh, Leona — Marry me," Bobby caved, forcing Jack and Jerry to pull him back.
"No you don't. Hey, hey."
"Walk it off, big guy."
"Boys, can I have a minute?" Rudy asked the police officers who stopped leading Leona outside, "Just so I know it wasn't all in my head, that moment we shared—," he wiped a piece of cake of her face, "It was real, wasn't it?"
"I'm sorry, have we met?" Leona wondered and despite the situation Azalea couldn't help but laugh.
"Get her out of here, boys!" Rudy said loudly, trying to regain some dignity.
☆★☆
"Well, I am embarrassed," Bobby said as they sat around the now mostly abandoned wedding venue, "I was so afraid of being alone I was ready to marry the first homicidal maniac that looked my way."
"I knew she was trouble from the moment I saw her," Rudy said smugly.
"Yeah, you haven't shown anything other than good judgement today," Azalea snorted.
"Bobby, you don't ever have to worry about being alone," Jack told him, "Man, you will always have us."
"You are right," Bobby said, "I may have lost a wife today, but — I have a family."
"Well, technically she wasn't your wife seeing as I'm not ordained and the person you almost married is Jerry," Azalea said, earning a light shove from Rudy to make her shut up.
"And that is reason to celebrate!" Bobby continued, "Eddie, hit it!"
"Everybody was ninja ninja ninja ninja fighting. This is getting so exciting!"
They all started to dance around as Eddie sang with Jerry doing some weird dance in his wedding dress. Azalea felt someone tap her on the shoulder and she turned around to see Jack standing there in the black and red gi that he was definitely pulling off.
"You look beautiful," Jack whispered so no one could overhear it and she gave him a pointed look, "What? I can't tell my friend how beautiful she is?"
"Sure you can," Azalea said, "and you look very handsome in your wedding attire. I see you decided to stick to the dress code."
"Hey, it's the wedding of a karate legend, I'd like to think I'm the only one who is keeping to the dress code," Jack smirked, "You are just jealous you aren't wearing my cool ninja outfit."
"Oh, I am," Azalea said, "There is a ninety percent chance I will break a foot before this evening is over."
___________
Azalea's Dojo Outfit
Azalea's Wedding Outfit