Chapter 47

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Chapter 47


ShyAnne's POV

*One Week Later*

A few days after we found out the sex, Andy was starting to do better. I guess that was truly the closure he needed. Today, he was finally feeling okay enough to go back into the studio and keep working on the new album.

"You're going to have a great day, I love you." I smiled, kissing his lips.

"I love you too." He said, leaving the apartment. I started cleaning the bedroom, tossing the bedsheets into the washing machine. They smelled from how long Andy was in here moping.

Andy's POV

"Andy." The guys said with soft smiles and pity in their eyes.

"Please, can we just not talk about it? I'm not ready." I said. They agreed and I sat down on one of the couches. I tried my best to be engaged and give input, but I was just not up for it. Honestly, I still wanted to be in bed, just wallowing in my sadness. I stopped because it wasn't good for me, and I didn't want ShyAnne to see me like that any longer.

Every part of me wants to try again. I was so excited to have a baby, become a father, and I want that experience. Obviously, ShyAnne's not ready because she just got on birth control. Every part of me also wants to never try again because losing the baby is so difficult. ShyAnne claims that she's almost numb to it now, and that's horrible, I wish she didn't have to learn how to not feel sadness for the loss of her child after going though her fourth miscarriage. 

"Andy." Jake said in a loud voice.

"Huh?" I asked, coming back to reality.

"We asked you a question about the song."

"Oh, sorry guys, my head is just somewhere else. I really thought I was ready to come back." I sighed.

"It's okay, do you want to talk about it?" Lonny asked.

"He was a boy." I said. "I've always wanted a son."

"I'm sorry man." CC said.

"Let's get back to work." I said, trying to take my mind off of it. We were in the studio for a few hours when we decided to take a break.

"So Alice and I...oh, nevermind." Jinxx said, a guilty look on his face. I just knew he was about to say something about his pregnant wife.

"Please don't walk on eggshells around me."

"Are you sure?" Jinxx asked. No, but I couldn't restrict their conversation or his excitement about fatherhood just because of what I went through.

"Yeah." I said.

"Well, we finally got the nursery set up. Alice has been on me day after day to get things done, so now I should just have to do 2 am runs for the rest of her pregnancy because everything else is done." He smiled. I took a deep breath and blinked back the tears. My mind was filled with thoughts that ShyAnne and I should be decorating a nursery, I should be making 2 am craving runs. I would give anything to have the good, the bad, and the ugly of having a pregnant significant other. 

I managed to make it through the rest of the day and drove back home. I walked in and it smelled so good.

"Mmm, have you been cleaning?" I asked.

"Yup, need to keep myself busy." She smiled, kissing my lips. "How was the studio."

"Fine." I lied.

"Andy, I know when you're lying."

"It was...really hard. I couldn't stay focused, and then Jinxx started talking about Alice which was really hard but I couldn't restrict their conversation for my own selfish needs. I don't know. I'm glad we don't go in again for another week." I rambled.

"Well, I'm glad you made it through the day. I made us a chocolate cake!" She said, dragging me into the kitchen.

"That looks good." I said.

"Come on, let's eat away our feelings." She giggled, handing me a fork.

"I love you, you know that." I said, wrapping my arm around her waist.

"I know." She said, kissing me and then shoving a piece into my face. I gasped and grabbed a handful of cake, forcing it onto her face. We ended up having a food fight with the cake, the perfectly clean kitchen now a mess.

"You go shower, I'll clean the kitchen." I said, licking the cake from around my mouth. "Fuck, I wish we had eaten it instead." I laughed.

"Am I a good chef or what?" She asked with a smirk.

"The best." I said, kissing her lips before she ran off to the bedroom.

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