Wild Baleigh Love1️⃣✔️

43. Admittance.

I'm woken up by a soft but cold hand running down my cheeks. I still close my eyes when yesterday's encounter registers in my head. She's here. In my bed. Beside me. I almost smile but I supress it after being reminded that she must be watching me . She starts whispering shortly her voice coming out a little raspy but soft like a smooth caress at the same time.

"I'm so so so sorry Bally. I know I was wrong, I know you never meant it but I still shut you out. I know you never intended to hurt me, but I was hurt. You brought back all the ugly memories I had already buried at the back of my head, they were so haunting Bally." She sniffs, I almost snap my eyes open to comfort her but I bite back. I know she won't tell me this in person, so I better assume this way.

"But I still wanted to be with you." She continues. "What do you do when the one person you want comfort from the most is the one who caused your pain? How can I want so desperately for you to wrap me up in your arms but also want so much for you to leave me alone?"

She sucks in air a little longer and then she continues. "I'm sorry I said bad things to you. Trust me Bally, that was anger talking, not me. I know you're not judgemental. Am also sorry for waking up wounds about your mother. It's a fact she wasn't woman enough but I shouldn't have told you like that on your face. You're like my guardian angel to me. Thanks for saving me Bally. I owe you big time." I feel her lips brushing at my cheeks and I swear everything stops except my heart which is pounding against my chest erratically. I so hope it doesn't  betray me!

"Pushing you away this long didn't do me any good. I missed your texts. Both the morning and night texts. Even the flirtatious ones. But I never brought my guard down. I was doing this for myself. You have no idea how I was falling hard. I wanted to get away from you as far possible as I can get before I messed everything. I have dreams ahead. I don't know if this is overrated and I don't want to be selfish by asking you to wait for me. I want to let you free. You're too cute, too handsome Bally. You have a good heart and I want you to give it to someone who will not disappoint you. Somebody who will share the same love you have in your heart. You deserve better. I'm a coward and my own heart is tinted with anger, resentment and pain."

My chest constricts at her words. She moves closer and pecks me again. "I've always been attracted to you ever since we were at the park. The naughty things you did to me at first were the only reasons that made me  convince myself that am not attracted to you. The truth is, when I told you I will never ever bring myself to like you at the beach, I was lying. I've always liked you Bally but the problem is, I'll never ever admit it because I'm afraid I'll ruin us, yes both you and I. You have dreams, we both have." She exhales, her warm air causing a tickle on the skin of my neck.

" When we were doing our project I was trying to supress my feelings. That's why I always did push you away. I'm always a coward, I don't own up to my own feelings, what kind of a person am I really? I Know this is because I don't want to screw my dreams. But honestly? Isn't that a bit lame? I don't know if I will make up to you for this one month left. I've always pushed you away and you still wanted to talk to me. Why are you so hard to resist? I wish you were a bit ugly. That way, I could have avoided you as a plague." She chuckles a bit and snuggles closer to me intertwining her cold legs with mine.

She smells so fresh. My ivory soap. I feel like drawing her a little closer to me but I know better than that. She'll stop talking. She continues,

"I'm so happy to be with you here, I wish we could stay like this forever but I know we won't. Reality is waiting to haunt us. I never hated you even an inch, I wish I could tell you this in person. If it'll make you feel better, oh am silly." She stops and I feel her fingers running down my jaw.

" I hated myself for acting such way. I wanted to laugh with you so hard till our ribs hurt ,I wanted to eat beside you at the cafeteria, I wanted the first thing when I woke up to be your morning texts and the last thing I wanted to see was your goodnight texts when I slept. But I screwed thinking that I'll get over you. I didn't, infact I hurted more. Sometimes I found myself crying. You're my happiness but you have to find a girl who will reciprocate your feelings. I'll be happy seeing you happy I'm sure. Find a girl who will never hurt you and most especially who will not be afraid to tell you she likes you because she has her own insecurities. Who is not a COWARD!"

The coward name comes out louder and she breaks into silent sobs. She's so close to my face and I feel her tears pricking down on my neck soaking my t-shirt.

"I have to go now Bally, I'm sorry." This time she gives me a peck on my lips. I swoon. "I like you so..." She breaks into sobs again.
" So... So... So much." She sniffs. " More than you will ever imagine. But I can't do this. I'll try being friendly to you back at school not because I like you but because I want to make it up to you. I've been nothing but rejecting. Hope I'll cover up the time we spent apart by being more friendlier. Bye Ba..." She breaks again.

Man, did I just feel my heart being broken again into tiny pieces or did the already shattered pieces found their way back making my heart whole again? Damn it! She likes me!

I feel her moving away from me unwrapping her hands from my body. Tears starts pooling out of my closed eyes. "I can't stay because I'll mess, I Know." I think she sees my tears and what registers in her mind is, I'm dreaming . She comes back and wraps her hands on me again. "I will always like you and I want you to be happy, don't cry even in dreams, you should instead smile in your dreams." She bends again and kisses my tears away on both of my eyes. "Bye." Girl, do you know that you're my freaking weakness?

I can't let her go.

Not again.

Oh this chapter was a filler, I'm sorry it's short guys.

Will you vote now and also comment like crazy? 😂

Tbc