The Hobbit / LOTR -oneshots

Absence - Company

Warnings: sad, angst
Word count: 855
Other:
Requested: by woolflower

Dwarves are not the most subtle people, and they can be quite overbearing when it comes to things they need or want. The same goes for your origins. The more you stay silent about them, the more they demand to know.

You sigh as you watch up into the sky, a wave of sadness washing over you, tears prickling in your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall. The dwarves are the single most curious lifeform on Arda and if they see you have cried, they will not stop until they have gotten a straight and honest answer out of you. But this time the answer is something you cannot give them. The memory was too fresh, too painful. You knew your origins wouldn't stay secret for long, but you wanted to put off the situation as much as possible. But you hoped and prayed that they would wait for an appropriate time to ask about it.

It all started when the dwarves started to ask Bilbo how he knew you after they realized that you would not give them any answers. You had fallen into Bilbo's garden almost a year ago, and he had nursed you back to health. He had been there with you when you tried to get used to life without wings. He had helped you to see Bag-end, even if he knew how it pained you that there wasn't a way for you to return to your original home. He had been compassionate, kind, and supportive to you when you tried to make sense of everything that was happening. He let you grieve in peace when he realized there was nothing he could do to comfort you, and you were forever grateful to him for that.
"Y/N, how did you end up in Bilbo's garden in the first place?" Dori asked, and Bilbo stiffened, eyes flying to you in an instant. You gave him a small smile as reassurance that you weren't mad at him, the dwarves were just too curious and you knew it was time to tell your secret.

You took a deep breath and answered, hoping that your voice didn't waver too badly.
"I fell." You said, and the company stared at you with varying looks, some with disbelief, some smirking as they thought you had made a joke. But when they saw the small tears in the corners of your eyes the smirks died down and the disbelief was replaced with wonder.
"How?" Balin asked, and you shrugged, having no idea. You had little memories from the time before you fell to Arda. And the ones you had were slowly
"Do the scars on your back have something to do with the fall?" The question came from Kili, always curious and not very sensitive when it came to people's emotions. He got slapped to the back of the head by his uncle, who gave you an apologetic look for his nephew. You just shook it off and took a deep breath, knowing that now wasn't the time to back down. It was time to tell them. No matter how painful.
"No. They aren't from an injury. They are all I have left from my wings." You muttered, your voice so quiet that the dwarves furthest away had trouble hearing you. Their eyes jumped to your back and then back to you.
"Wings?" Ori's voice broke the silence. You nodded and sighed.
"I had wings when I fell. They were icy blue, thin, and beautiful."
"But where did they go?" The question was a whisper, and you weren't sure who asked it. You sighed, a tear making its way down your cheek slowly.
"They melted." You closed your eyes, the memories of the day rushing to your mind. They had melted away slowly, the bright material just disappearing in front of your eyes as you sat helplessly, crying, hoping, praying that they would come back.

The dwarves were silent as you wiped the tear off your face and looked into the clear night sky, the starlight was cold as it shined from the clear sky to you.
"So you lived..." Thorin trailed off, his eyes flashing to the sky and then back to you. You just nodded, glancing at the sky as well.
"But I cannot return. My home is here now." You gave a small sweep toward the ground you were sitting on, and a small twinge of compassion stung Thorin's heart. You had lost your home, just like them. But you had no return, unlike them, and yet, here you still were, trying to help them reclaim their home.

This is probably the angstiest thing I am capable of writing right now. I really liked this request, but I had no idea how to write it until motivation struck me and I hurried to my laptop to type this out. It's a little shorter than I usually like my requests to be, but I didn't want to stuff it full with stuff and take the attention away from the idea of the oneshot.