The Hobbit / LOTR -oneshots

Death upon death upon death - Kili

Warnings: Death, angst, battle, blood. All the bad stuff basically. And all very graphic. 
Word count: 1010 
Other: I don't know what power took over me and gave me this idea. I hate this already and I haven't even started writing yet. Also, battle scenes are not my cup of tea, so please don't' hate me.

Kili is only moments away from being crowned king under the mountain but the memories still don't stop plaguing him.

Kili was shaking. At any moment, he was meant to walk out of that door and to be crowned the king under the mountain but how could he? The responsibilities of a king had now been rested heavily upon his shoulders, everything was so overwhelming. It had been almost a year since the battle, but the memories didn't seem to fade and they kept tormenting him. 

- - - -

Fili was being dragged towards the side of the cliff, Azog holding him tight at the collar of his jacket. You and Kili stiffened, watching as Azog hoisted the dwarf forward, speaking something in his tongue, tormenting Thorin, tormenting everyone around him. Fili kept struggling, his legs kicked in the air, but it was for nothing.
"Go. Run!" Fili tries to get you to leave, but you can't, all of you stand there, in a trance. The whole situation was hopeless, and all you could do was watch as Azog lifted Fili highed up in the air and impaled his chest with his blade. You let out a sound, something between a shriek and a wail and squeezed your eyes shut but the image of Fili's face is already burned into your brain. 

You feel Kili shift next to you, and grab his arm right before he manages to storm off. You watch him with hazy eyes, seeing the seething anger in his face. 
"We can't just storm in, that's what he wants. He wants all of you, you can't just walk up there." You state as sternly as you can, but there is a desperate tone in your words. Kili just pulls of your hold and marches past you, plunging his sword into the nearest orc that was stupid enough to go near him. You go after him, ignoring the sharp prick to your heart. This is the battlefield, there is no place for love or affection here. A swarm of orcs appears from nowhere and you lose Kili in the heat of the battle. You can hear him calling for you and you answer every time, but you can't find each other. 

- 

Kili stumbles onto the clearing, seeing everyone gathered around someone laying on the ground. He walks closer, his steps staggering and heavy after the battle. As he reaches the group, his eyes land on his uncle laying on the ground, a gaping wound at his chest, eyes beady and staring blindly to the sky, Bilbo crying next to him on the frozen ground. His vision blurs at the edges, his ears stop working as he stares at the body of the dwarf that was like a father to him. The one that taught him to fight, to shoot a bow, to be a Durin. The one that he thought was unbeatable in battle. His legs gave out from under him and he fell to his knees but he could not feel them hit the hard ground, he could not feel anything. He just sat there, watching as everyone cried around him, looking around the familiar faces. 

On the third look around, he noticed that you were missing and his brain returned back to normal. All the sounds returned, everything seemed brighter yet somehow not, and he looked around and he felt his heart freeze at the sight of a small figure laying on the ice slightly away. 
"Not her too. Please, Mahal, not her too." He started walking towards the figure, ignoring everyone's words to him.
"I will give anything, I will go through anything, I will do anything, just don't let it be her. Please." But no god could change the fact that it was Y/N. His beautiful Y/N, laying dead on the ice, eyes closed, the ground around her stained red from all the blood that had spilled from the wound on her side. 

He somehow made his way next to your body, and he kneeled next to you, he pressed his ear to your chest to hear your heartbeat. There was nothing, and you laid there, still, and yet even if the battle had claimed your life, you looked peaceful, like you were sleeping. He let out his first sob and a second followed, and soon, third and fourth. Tears fell from his eyes and he collapsed next to you, his head still on your chest, his fingers digging to your shoulder. 
"I should have told her I loved her."

"I pushed her away with my shoulder while he was trying to keep me safe."

"I should have stayed with her."
"It's my fault she's dead, if I had stayed with her she would be alive still."
The thoughts kept tormenting him and no one was there to pull him out of them. But that job had been yours.

- - - -

His thoughts are a mess. The crown should have been Thorin's or Fili's but now he was the only one left. Even worse, you should have been standing there next to him, but you weren't. The room he was standing in was empty and cold, and Kili sat down heavily, pressing his head between his hands and allowing the tears to run free. He should be buried there, not you, not Fili, not Thorin. But he wasn't. He was here, alive, breathing, suffering every day with the thoughts that he hadn't been able to save any of you. 

I definitely did not make myself cry while writing this. Nope. Well, I hope you enjoyed this. *maniacal laughter* 

*Sighs* I don't know why I did this. I won't write anything sad in a reaaaaally long time. I need to write some fluff now. Bye.