loading......99.9% "Beast" [#Wattys2022]

44

I wrote him a letter, telling him how much this day meant and if only that was all real and.. He could have told me about, Matilda.

Our regular classes started. 

Everyday, every morning, I sit under the shade where I use to sit, I would miss his presence. I regretted how I ignored him. I would see visions of him. Him looking at me. Funny moments when I use to secretly look at him, check him out. Calling him 'My hubby'  He would sit at his bike and I would walk by ignoring him, when I knew he looked at me. Spring was coming. 

The winds were rather cold but the places he walked from, things he touched. They were too holy for me. Sometimes I would sit at the place where he and Isabelle talked for hours. I would stare at the colorful roses and I would get lost in the thoughts of him and Jess would have to shake me to bring me back to reality. 

"Every minute in this place, I missed him. My life is like a tragedy. I fell for a guy, who called him beast. I called myself ugly. He called me perfect and I called him victim of a tragedy.

My heart would beat unconditionally. And every time when my heart raced, I knew he is miles away.

"After classes I got delusional and sad, I had always dreamed of a university romance when it was my turn he was gone."

My phone buzzed.

"I am here, will meet you after some work."

I jumped in happiness, I hugged Jess. "He is here!"

"Look at that blush!" Jess teased me.

"Don't do that!"

I waited for hours and when you are in love, every minute  seems like an hour.

"Jess shall we bunk the lecture?"

"Are you serious?" I looked at her.     

"I want to be there when he finishes his work."

We bunked the lecture, I waited endlessly for him. 

Zen came out, he looked grieved.

"What happened?" I looked at him.

"Nothing, I came here to process but they have cancelled my admission."

"What?" I looked at him.

"I'm going home." I looked at Zen, I waited for him for hours. 

"It's okay."

Something was off. And Zen was acting weird.

"What is this?" Zen had sent me some pictures.

I downloaded them as I started reading.

"By the time you will be reading this I would have been gone by now. Know that, I had waited for you. The times I had spent waiting for you were the longest and painful. I wanted you to stay with us despite of the wordly life, you gave us everything but we wanted you. Dad! you were unfair."

I called Zen.

"Please! please! don't do anything!"

I texted him hour after hour, I called him. My life was stuck in my vocal chords. 

"It was my fault Zen! I'm sorry." I cried underneath my blanket and I cried endlessly. 

"Zen! please, we will talk!"

He texted me near 3:20 am. And I felt life in my body.

"Why are you doing this?"

Just think about us. I send him those things I did to make him feel special.

"Tell me don't you want to see a life with me?"

"He went offline again." I was in misery. My heart was a chicken beating under knife. 

Not even for a second I slept. I called Jess and Sam and I cried. "Zen is set on a suicide!"

"I can't help if anything happens I don't know what I will do."

I promised God that I will offer my prayers if he will save him.

The next day, Zen came to university. I looked at his hand and my ring was gone, it hurted me, but that was not my priority because, Zen was suffering and my heart was mashed.

"I will give one last try, if they accepted my application then.."

I prayed for him every single minute my saliva was stuck in my throat. I was so nervous that my limbs were shaking. Chills were crawling at my spine. 

"Jess please pray for him!"

Zen walked out looking completely graved.

"What happened?" I looked at him worried.

"They said they can't allow me to sit in the classes."

"What will you do?" I looked at him.

"I don't know!" 

"Zen!" He looked at me." Shall we go somewhere? just the two of us?"

"Some other day." 

His body was weak, he walked as if he had nothing in his life. It broke my heart looking at him like this.

He went away. Despite how much I wanted him to stay.

"Jess!"

I sat there under the tree crying and this time I cried loudly my face was red and I couldn't stop. 

"It's going to be alright Naomi!"

"I have never seen him like this, it was my fault Jess, all my fault. I should be punished for it."

Jess called Sam. "She listens's to you only

"Give her the phone."

"It's going to be alright!"

"He will die, bro." With that I cried even more loudly.

"Nothing will happen! I can assure you that."