loading......99.9% "Beast" [#Wattys2022]

26

Another bright day, I woke up looking at the side windows the clouds were just flirting with the sky. I smiled. My gut tells me, today will be a good day.

I woke up, pressed my clothes, did my makeup, left my hair opened. I felt. 'Beautiful.'

Things were as smooth as butter and everything was just slipping, and dancing and doing things wish everyone could do.

I stood at the station, toes tapping, I couldn't wait to get to my destination. For the moment, I recalled, I was embarrassed. Yeah, definitely. Letters.

It felt light. Anyhow, I got the seat in the bus.

"Isabelle? Heard Zen proposed to you?"

"Yeah!"

"So," she said in a teasing tone. "What's the plan?"

"Well, my man knows it all!" Isabelle chuckled.

An arrow went straight and through my heart. I could feel the pain. It was a mix of everything. But like the top of the cherry "Why did he lied, about him just being friends?"

Guess, guys have it their ways.

My eyes couldn't look upright I was ashamed. I asked myself. I was not the person who would try up with people like Zen?

I thought too much and that's what complicate things.

I picked my phone and called her.

"Leah, hey! How about we go watch a movie?"

"Well, I need to inform my parents."

"Sure thing, but if you got the permission let's watch a horror movie."

Life is no better than a horror movie.

"Yeah! Sure."

I was on the entrance, I saw them both. I was stupid. There was definitely something in between them both. 

To tell the truth, Zen and I hardly ever talked, but when there was Isabelle there was definitely Zen.

I saw them both going to their signature place. And I always felt a thing in my heart, rotten. His special place. And sometimes it became a question if I should be treating him like that?

Peeping and stalking was never my thing so I always left things as they were cause truth is revealed when nature spoils you with so much love.

It started raining, the little naughty droplets just played and danced from the sky, more like it felt like little warriors are on the war.

We walked in the rain, but something changed in me. The way I use to track Zen like a radar, I had always wanted him around me. But he was already taken. And it felt bad.

It rained heavily but me and Leah still walked the tracks under the heavy shaded trees.

Deep in my heart, I looked for him cause it was just helplessness and nothing more.

But he was never found. The day went the opposite of what I had expected.

It was almost time for our busses to arrive and I walked in front of the parking.

"Naomi~"

I looked and I smiled. She was more like a sister, just like the one I had lost.

She smiled and for minutes I lost the track of my thoughts.

She hugged me and I hugged her. I felt like breaking apart.

I never wanted to love.. But, guess, I always pick the wrong things. So I always let others do things for me. Cause I only choose wrong ways over good ways.

I hid my face, cause I knew any minute longer, I will cry.

She looked at my face, and I saw a question coming.

"How things are going?" She asked.

"The opposite of what I always think?"

She started with her problems and I like a good listener, just listened.

The wind blew and so did my hair. And I felt cold.

Just as I turned I saw Zen driving his car.

I was happy- Then I saw Isabelle.

I never knew happiness would be just having a glimpse of certain someone you just liked. And having a frame of him with someone.

The world muted and I was drowned in my own silence. He stood inches and inches away from me. And I felt his gaze turning towards me.

I knew that look. She stood by her side but eyes darting me with intense stare. Between my knowing I wanted him to look the other way so I could look at him.

I raised my chin as I flipped my hair behind my ear, I looked at him, and I realised how waiting felt like.

But then, they both sat in his car. One final look and I knew they suited eachother.

Love is not stealing. I gave myself reasons. Love is about giving and taking nothing in return. I wrote a letter not about love but about his affection. I know he talks about positivity. But helping and dating is another thing. It felt sad. But moreover I didn't know why I had this pain..