loading......99.9% "Beast" [#Wattys2022]

3

"Have you seen Andrew?" Mirana asked.

"He was drinking here a while ago. Did you checked the balcony?"

"Do you think, he will be with?"

"You are just thinking too much."

"I'm not Naomi! I know how to protect my things."

"Naomi.. Wha.what are you doing?" Andrew looked at me.

"Breathing, thinking, planning how will I live a life without you."

"I"..He stopped. "It's not like I never loved you. But..My parents didn't agree for us."

"And you chose them. What about me, my family?"

I..

"You think Andrew it was easy? I told everyone that he will be my everything, have you imagined the shame I will have to face. I.... I shrieked. You took my heart like a thief just to perform your experiments, just so that you could cut through and please yourself when I will bleed."

"Tell me where did my love was not enough! how can you smile, while I'm thinking of dying. Atleast don't lie like this. Don't disrespect my feelings like this."

"Listen Naomi.. I-I"

"Even still. I want to curl up and cry. But I'm not going to. I know you are just making up things to avoid a suicide at your place because you are still thinking of yourself. But know what? One day. You will need someone to love you like I did but that someone will not be me." 

"Can you just leave?" Andrew looked at me with his hands in his pockets.

"It was just this silence. We stood there, looked at eachother."

"Who knew it was the last chapter about love in my life."

                                 ********************

"You are home?" A punch of questions came my way.

"Now you see me standing, guess!"

I was never in good terms with her, maybe what happened in past. This was my mom. A place that was sometimes paradise and most of the times. Hell for me.

"I told you no parties after 8."

"I wish mom I could tell, I was not planning to come back alive."

"Alright! Alright I'm tired can you just leave me?"

She left, I went straight to my room. Looked at the painted walls, tears filled in my eyes.  I reclined at the backside of the door. At every corner there were just, memories. Memories of talking to him all night. Him hearing me cry, nag and talking about random things. These feelings, they keep digging my heart deeper and deeper. We never had the chance to properly hold hands. It ached my heart. I never felt more lonely than I was feeling. This was it, how scary it made me just thinking about living without someone who was my habit. 

I went to my desk, where I had my journal, where all memories of my life became some stories of past. I sat on my chair, I reread all what I wrote, it was torture. I turned the pages where we made plans for our future. A small cottage somewhere in between mountains, where we both can live like the happiest couple on earth. Me fixing his tie every morning, kissing his forehead and telling him "Have a nice day, honey." Innocent tears started raining drop after drop on all the doodling I did. All those tears that left marks, tears that were like small dreams that shattered and splashed. 

I flipped the lighter, for the last time I looked at my journal . The papers were burning and ash was gathering in my heart. I wanted to burn as I was once a part of his life. But I was already a rotten meat. 

Even still, I wish him to be happy..  

I threw myself on my bed and for the last time I cried and it was really the last time.