loading......99.9% "Beast" [#Wattys2022]

19

"Naomi!"

"Leahay" we both ran like two waves splashing. And there. I had missed you. Said Naomi. 

"I had lot of things to tell you." 

"Before that, did you heard about Zen's new girl? I have heard this news. I'm sure they are more than rumors." Leah looked at me.

"Who, to be more specifically?" I looked at her confused.

"This girl from our department. Isabelle. I heard she is a foreigner. Her hair long with the edges bleached eyes like yours bright, light brown, yours are hazel as I see. Clean fair skin. Body talk, that is rather too arrogant as she walks through." 

"What a clean description."  I mocked.

"Their love seems to be singing through the campus. Nearly everyone knows it. They both be following each other all day around. But, about Zen? I'm not sure if its love or his another Monday or Tuesday's muse. You see, another rumor says, his previous girl is here. Can be anyone. I suppose. He is doing this all for vengeance."

"So, in short playboy?"

"No doubt. He is for sure." Leah said. And what is that you wanted to tell."

"Nothing."

"You look bothered, your face red as a baboon's bum."

"Just giving reasons to myself. I hate Morrison."

"He plays with minds, hearts are weak anyone can tame them mind is a settled puzzle, its interesting to create a mess and to put back the pieces in order." Leah said.

"I seem to have been very strangled, Leah."

"About what?"

"I- I know him, more deeply. I feel empathy for him. I know his causes behind his wrong doings. But I cannot seem to figure what is making me feel that thing."

"I repeat once again. He is a mind player." Leah added.

"I do not know, which one should I choose either one will revolt if I choose mind over heart. Mind says I am entering a battlefield. Heart says, he has me as the only friend he could open his pain to."

I am not good for him. My looks, they do not compliment him, where I stand where he stand. I live and die for honor. I cannot do this. Not anymore. We both live in separate worlds. I had promised myself I will not take the road of love again. Not with a loaded Lamborghini, where girls accompany him according to his likeness. I feel bad, I definitely understand. Now, it cannot be same. I know how spring has settled in my barren heart. I'm thankful but I cannot get hurt in his play where he does not know sincerity and commit-ness to one heart. He is something I sometimes know, I wish to know. But resultant is always rocks and marbles. 

"I have made up my mind. I will block him right away."

"All of a sudden?" Leah looked at me.

"I'm hungry. Shall we grab some shakes?" I asked.

The sky, red or orange a time where the sun goes in his comfy bed, everything going back home. The birds to their nest, tired people home. Leaning side to the window glass. My mind was preparing a goodbye speech. I can be his friend. Why trying so hard?Maybe, feelings what had occurred to me.

We had a quality time, but I think, that's how far our ship was meant to take us. We both enjoyed eachother's company but now we have to part ways. Why? Do not ask me. I, myself am unaware of that. 

I reached the front door. I could not wait. I wanted to end it desperately. I typed my speech had the send button pushed. Done.

I sighed. Dragged myself on my two lazy feet to my bed that seems like two huge mountains to cross. A minute or two. The phone ringed.

"Why?" Asked Zen.

"I just do not get why of all the people, we talk to eachother."

He knew this parting, knew all the reasons behind it. It had occurred to him as he said.

"Mam. With the formal language he started. Just because you know a thing about me does not defines me whole. You talk, what you had been told. Not more not less. You only have that much piece of information I had purposely exposed to you. Don't judge a book by its cover. And to play my game on me-"

"What? so you have been playing with me all along?" No other word I wanted to hear after this. I threw my phone the other side. turned around. Tears started floating out.

"I was wrong to think of you differently."

 Why do I feel this way? was it that I had lost a dear friend? a habit? I want to hear none. 

The phone kept ringing with the messenger notifications. 

Morning 6:00am I could not sleep sadness slapped me harder. I do not want to hear, see him again. Going to the same university, where I have to face him. I can hide. But why did he made me feel that way if  I was his subject to play. Why some one like me?

Heavy steps, crying sky, tears falling onto my skin. The sky cried louder. What more to it was my paper that I had, with no preparation.  My heart aching at its peak. I fed the hurt in me by the tears I wept. After years, there I cried again for the gender man. I had promised not to cry for.

Rushing to the off limits area where students are not allowed I sat on the stairs, a sacred place for worshippers. Beside it was a tree. Leaves rusty red, some dead some angry and some barely breathing. Surely it was winter. Tear rolled down and splashed. It hurts, why people take me so easy when they play, am I just a programmed software anyone can bring changes to?  

Zen! you will pay for breaking my heart.