loading......99.9% "Beast" [#Wattys2022]

25

Maybe she is right, these are surely mine, these feelings but they need to be heared. I always walk away with no regrets. 

Maybe no. they are better now, when they will see light, they will want more and less is always more. But when its heart its always greedy .

I do not know. I opened my  drawer, stared at those letters. Pieces of my sweet pain and sad memories his annoying little acts, his playful tricks. All that had him. I looked at them for the last time. 

He will surely get them today, if the delivery is fast enough.

"Why are you even investing on her?"

"She is our daughter."

"I told you, this is just giving her freedom."

"Girls of her age are married, have a kid or two and what are you planning to make her?"

"You only care for your future, such biasness in our children is not good." Mother said.

Again, these people fighting a cock pit. I never wish to eavesdrop but they always murder my peace. I sighed, if eyes could speak they could tell rather then weeping helplessly. Nothing in life, is spoon fed. We have to reach out for things.

I have lost count on my tips, reasons to give man a chance, for them to prove. 

"How can a man truly love something?" I questioned the saddened truth of my heart.  

I closed my eyes and I feel the pain, the ache of true sadness, my soul is drowned in. Life has always been cruel to me, I suppose. It dumped me younger when I was. It fed me food in a dog's den and starved me little when I was the age of counting dolls, playing the sweet girl. And in search of love, I was followed by dirty shadows who had nothing to give but more to take. I had imagined a knight, not a prince, imagining a prince would be greediness, a knight rider, who rides efficiently and protects his lady, maybe love her to the coreset part of his heart and paint her with the colors of love. But love, it is sadder than I am, it has been wronged because of people and people were the one, we are the broken one's over love. Indeed, nothing in life is meant to be blamed, we blame the hurt that rules, as we all are true victims of harsh life.

Sometimes, we have threads fancy our clothes, stich to our torn clothes, but our past is like an infinite thread. Every single day is a memory, and memory is  a thread wrapped over our fingers, strangled over and over. We do have bad memories, those we do not need longer, but we still carry them, people abandon things and we cannot abandon the jealous enemy, our past. That does not want us to forget and it always reminds us of the pain. Sometimes, I want to rewrite the chapters of my life but it cannot be done alone. Life has been so cruel to us that the lesson it gave is like an armor for protection and we have to work hard to pass through the armor because behind endless line of fears, is a beautiful valley we know we will go, so we have less  effort to attain it just so to remain in the same old hell. 

What I want from love is not things but feelings the one's that were wronged by wrong people. The ones who had been waiting for their turn so that they could release the anguish they had piled up. But fear of a heartbreak will always be a hinderance. My pain is here out for a contract; "Hand over me your heart, let me fill in the gap, the cracks, the pain, let me heal, with the tiny pieces of my heart, and who knows the pain better than two broke lovers wronged by evilness. "

I looked at the mirror as a tear rolled out, rushed down the fairest of my cheeks. I had so much of pain and so many of wrong people around me and the only kindness I can do is loving my self, that is empty and so the empty make the loudest noises.

"Every unique piece is made for its unique owner, and for people in life, those who walk side by you as they take you as the only star in a galaxy, are the ones who are the knight in a fancy armor."