loading......99.9% "Beast" [#Wattys2022]

40

"I have to get registered for next semester, I don't know why your business meetings are always on days when I need you." I said annoyed.

"You don't have time, you don't need me in your life, exactly why you despise me so much?" 

"Everytime I wanted you, you abandoned me. Wait for your turn and wish you don't have to look for me in future cause when you are old, I will make each day of yours a living hell, like you made my mine."

"What time should I pick you up?"

"4" I replied.

Somewhere in me, I had this feeling, Zen would come. It was just in my head.

"Are you sure, he will come?"Angela asked.

"Do you want to bet?"I smiled.

"It's my love I am counting on."

I walked in my university my heart as nervous as the player who has to chase the score. I looked at the parking and there he was. A big smile appeared over my face. 

I walked to the register office, looking for him in every corner but not looking too obvious.

"Angela!" Namira called her. They both became friends on the festival.

"I saw Zen and Matilda together." She hissed in Angela's ears.

I looked at them. And they said nothing.

They are hiding something.

I saw Zen walking to the bus area, I decided to go after him, but then I saw her, the girl I saw him with for the first time.

It's not I never trusted him, but we were in a state where our minds were run by what we see.

What is he doing there with her?

Wait! 

"I remember, back when Leah and I were sitting near the fountain, Leah pointed at her. Matilda drank water from the bottle, she looked nervous. She walked to and fro, she kept looking at me. And a guy appeared who smiled at her and she smiled back. And they talked as long as we did. I recalled about what Jayson remarked about her. Probably bad words. I admired her. They say not every pious person is a saint and not every girl with bad image is bad. Zen told me, he had interest in her but things went bad. I could tell, not after there breakup she got a new man."

"Well, well, well, look at them!!" Leah said.

"You know she wears fitted clothes and the way she sits, attracts every male and sometimes people would look at her with lust and she thinks its cool, one way she is quite pious the other look what she does." 

I was offended by my best-friend's remarks. We had different believes, maybe she was targeting what our religion teaches us.

I was mad, in anyway she was someone he had interest in and at times I wanted to do the same make male friends and appear infront of him, but that kind of revenge would only make me a hoe in his eyes cause that's the difference between males and females.

It's funny how males proudly tell, "we know a girl based on a couple of bad experiences." A girl who truly loves a guy and is seen with two others becomes a slut,  a guy gets over his ex and starts dating in a week and when girls do the same, they become money loathers. A man would sum up a few words said in anger when a person is not even himself a girl would understand him but a man would sum up his time when a girl says anything in madness and blindness is, she was a hideous cheat. Its insane when a man does not even know his nature how can he claim to know a girl?

I walked away, this look was just like I staring at Andrew and his fiancee and I am there in the red gown.

My phone ringed. It was a miss call from Zen. I was going towards the parking and I was about to text him. "Panda" He said. I looked at him with his signature pose smiling. "Surprise.." He said smiling brightly. 

"I was looking for you."

That's why you were with Matilda?

We took the seat as we talked, "you probably have heard by now I was with Matilda." She wants to shift in your department, just do something."

I was hurt, when I saw him with her, I could tell why God says its a sin to think of anyone other than him.

Truth is I hated the sight of others looking at him like I do or he looking at them like he does at me.

When I'm hurt things come out of my mouth and I had no control over it. I suffered the most because of my words and I wanted help because my mouth was my enemy I would say things in anger that I never meant and my mom would tell, "your words will bring about  your doom."

"I am transferring to another university." Zen looked at me shocked.

We both were silent for a while.

"I'm shifting my field." He was always ahead of me.

I thought, it was a joke. 

"I'm not here to register, I am here because I had some work to do." 

"Can you help Matilda?" Zen looked at me. It felt like he was purposely cutting me slowly with a sharp edged blade. 

"I will never help someone like her." I was pretty clear with what I wanted and what I don't.

I left Angela and Zen to attend some work, there I met a friend who earned his respect. He was always the first person to greet me and I always admired this trait. I walked pass him.

"Are you okay?" He texted me because I had came way too far from him. He always cheered me without knowing anything. He was truly a well wisher, but my rules were my first priorities. 

I came back in hurry thinking she will tell him how I kissed his pictures before I went to bed, how I would wear his jacket in opposite direction and hug him and it was my first time doing things like these.

I never hid anything from him and I told him that a friend texted me and he replied. "After our marriage, I will make some people call Wonho Monu, brother. I laughed.

"Like I will."

  Zen was silent, we sat there looking at the surroundings. "My friends are waiting, I have to go"

"Should I leave?" Like you will stay, if I told you to?

I looked at him and my eyes desperately wanted him to stay I came here for him, to spent the day, after so many long days we met, and we met like this? 

Zen knew we had misunderstandings and only dialogue could help, but it was like he never wanted to clear things. He preferred to stay quite at times like this, everything can be sought out, if anyone had the will for it.

He walked away, it was like he abandoned my feelings and walked over my bleeding heart.

Right after he walked away, I went to fix my face. I looked at my reflection, tears escaping, I cleared them with my arms as I fixed my face and I smiled. It's not the first time he did this.