Nice Posture Nonsense | One Shots

Grass (No Ship)

I sat on the grass in front of my house, staring at the ground and picking at the grass. Despite the freezing temperatures, I didn't have a jacket, or even a long sleeve shirt. I ignored the goosebumps covering my arms and stayed put.

Only two hours before, I'd introduced my friends to my first boyfriend ever, and needless to say it hadn't gone well. My friends immediately hated him and declared him just like one of their first boyfriends, a manipulative and uncaring jerk we didn't really bring up.

I had really thought they'd like him. Sure, maybe his sense of humor was a bit much but I knew he really cared for me. I'd waited three weeks to tell them about him, just to make sure that I really did like him and that he really did like me.

The second I knew he really did was when I, sleep deprived and slightly loopy, confessed that I wasn't really sure that my parents really approved of online relationships. The next day, he told me he was really worried about that, because he didn't want to have to break up with me.

Maybe that was just a lie, though.

I mean, if you hear something enough, you start to believe it. That's how he'd convinced me that I wasn't ugly or annoying or anything I'd convinced myself I was.

He hadn't said that much though, so maybe he wasn't lying?

I shook my head as a frigid breeze caused me to shiver lightly. If I thought like this, then my relationship would never work. I knew he was a good guy, I just didn't know how to tell my friends that. I didn't know how to explain that he really did care for me and about me.

I lay back on the grass, staring up at the stars. This feeling of defensiveness was sort of scary to me. I never got this defensive of anyone ever, but something about this guy just made me want to protect him and love him forever. There was just something about him that made him feel special.

I sighed and closed my eyes, letting myself relax and escape from the chaos that was my life.

~~~

A month later, I found myself back in my yard, the grass tickling my bare arms.

He had expressed wanting to tell my parents a few weeks ago, saying that they'd trust him and me more if I did. I'd been hesitant because I didn't know how my parents felt about that sort of thing. Turns out my instincts had been right.

I hadn't told them about us dating, no, but I had asked my mother's opinion on long distance Internet relationships, she'd told me exactly what I was afraid she'd say - you couldn't know if the feelings were real simply over the Internet, it wasn't really a real relationship, it wasn't a good idea, so on and so forth.

A cooling breeze brushed over my face as I thought.

I knew what she was saying was logical, that I'd agree in any other scenario. However, what this guy and I had didn't feel fake. I truly cared for him, and it seemed he truly cared for me. How long it would last, I didn't know, but what I did know was that I was happy. I also knew that I could never tell my parents about him. Not everyone grew up in a world with friends and the Internet to normalize this for you.

Maybe one day, in the far future, I'd tell them, but for now I knew I couldn't. It just wouldn't be smart based on what my mother had told me. One day.

y'know half of my best writing usually seems to be a vent piece of some sort and i don't know what that says about me as a person tbh (first half is from over a month ago and second half from yesterday)

i hope you guys liked this

byeeee