Attack On Titan Preferences And Oneshots

Story Time With This Asshole

Right so I think I might as well write down some of the particularly funny aspects of my life to make up for my sinful update schedule

Right so I have this 'friend' but I swear to any and every god there is something wrong with him, there is never a time where his skin isn't littered with scratches. He's just known for always being especially rough and pretty much getting hurt every two seconds. So yesterday this kid brings a fucking weight to school, a large, round 7kg weight and it lifting it up n shit, trying to flex. He's sitting on the ground, legs in front of him when he drops it from about 5cm above his knee. And don't get me around, this kid is fucked. He skewed his ear lobe with a rusty nail. It went all the way through. I watched it. I screamed.

Dumbass

So he starts carrying on like he's stubbed his toe and he's exaggerating and we're all like "Come on Cain it was a tiny drop get up" but eventually someone got a wheelchair for the poor sap who was currently being subjected to his best friends nudging his leg with his foot to "see if that bitch was telling the truth"

So the kid was wheeled away and that was that. The next day, or today for me, my best mate shows up and goes "Fucking Cain. He's shattered his knee cap and fractured his leg, bitch isn't going to be at school for the rest of the year."

So, all in all,

fucking hell Cain now you've fucked up

A/N he didn't actually shatter his knee cap, bitch lied and showed up like three weeks later

-

Currently in my music class, we're required to write a fully fledged soundtrack for a shitty lil animation made by another school for our assessment. I'm pretty happy with mine, but's it's been a struggle. One problem involved me not being satisfied with the instruments I had on the app I was using (Garage Band) so I decided, along with a few other close friends, to record some chimes to get that pure Asian music and yeah so eventually me and a few other people were in this tiny, almost soundproof room crowded with a drum kit, electric guitars and amps.

The people were; me, who never stops laughing, Seb, who desperately needed to record the chimes as well, K, who was half assedly trying to record as well, and Jessie, who was cooped behind the drum kit with a contagious laugh that sounds like when you let the air out of a balloon.

All in all it's a pretty good group.

So us being the shit 9th graders that we are, can't stop fucking around. I'm just sitting on the floor laughing and Jessie's behind the drums fucking crying of laughter and Seb and K are begging us to shut up, but I'm just wheezing and snorting. Examples -

Me: *finds a didgeridoo next to me* oH lOoK iTs a dIdGeRi-DON'T

Jessie: *muffled screaming*

And

Seb: Alright, Meg shut up I have to record this

Me: *filled with giggling* okay calm your tit

*awkward silence as the iPad counts down to when it'll start recording*

*Seb runs his hand down the chimes*

Me: *makes eye-contact with Jessie*

Jessie: *nods* yeEEEEE

Me: *loud, embarrassing snorting*

Seb and K: *laughing*

Jessie *screaming and crying*

And yeah Seb's iPad that he was recording on kept on having static and we had to do it about twenty times but he got it done and I'm very proud of him for A) putting up with my shit and B) his soundtrack is kickass despite his best efforts to prove me wrong

All in all,

If I ever hear another Asian soundtrack I'll cry

-

My best mate windexackerman34 and I have all of our classes together except for music so it's pretty much impossible to go through our books without finding a "crust" or "nutte sac" written in the corner because our memes have been shortened and broken down into twisted, therapy needing scraps of sentences that only us can understand.

A whole moodboard has been squeezed into the word "cranky" or "frustrated".

If one of us says the word "animal jammer" we'll physically cry.

She once wrote me a fanfic where the phrase "fuck off thirsty whore" was used and now it is thrown into very tame conversation and turn them into rants about Hajime Isayama and how once I threw myself out of my desk so hard that my chair flew backwards and hit someone, causing Duana to try and do the same only to accidentally pelvic thrust the table we were sitting at with such a force that the teacher heard.

The extent of our friendship is when, in one particular Math lesson that we probably definitely should've been paying attention to, we were having a bit of friendly banter, I'm not even sure if it was considered a conversation but I said something and we were laughing when suddenly she reaches over and scrawls something in my book. I look down to see "Naughty Gorl" written in the corner. I physically cried, not being able to breath due to exhaling so long and hard that I almost died.

All in all,

Fucking Gru memes get me in the heart and render me immobile

Hope you enjoyed. If you want more chapters like these, please tell me, I live to serve and this prevents about 20% of my self doubt.

PEACE