I need you

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And we were there, acting like two little kids being happy about throwing pillows to each other. We spent some precious 20 minutes like that until the moment Cameran knocked the door.
- can I open the door ?
- shhh let's say no to him okay ? Just to see his reaction! - Zayn whispered - nooo brother, we are doing something you can't see..
- are you giving kisses to each other ? I already did that to my friend Mary!
- Open that door right now! - Cameran opened it and Zayn tried to do such a serious look but he looked too adorable - so you have a girlfriend ?
- nooo..she's just a friend..
- I used to say that as well, don't lie to your big brother, tell me! I don't tell aunt - he sat on Zayn's lap, right beside me
- okay so..she's blonde, brown eyes, I love her bely! And I love when she gives me candies and hugs! She draws really well too!
- and did you tell her ? - I asked him
- no..Zayn said that we should never tell girls that we love them.
- Your brother said that ?! Zayn you ?
- I will explain you later, but yes I said..tell Chris what I exact told you.
- Zayn said that we should prove our love for people in other ways than just saying that we love them. Because actions always count!

Hearing a little kid saying that with his eyes full of light was one of the cutest experiences ever. I could see that Cameran is such a smart kid and everything he knows, was Zayn who taught me. And somebody being taught by Zayn only can act so cute as that, so pure, so precious, so smart.
- See Christine, I told him the right thing..didn't I ?
- well I actually think it's the best way to express our love..
- does Zayn tell that he loves you a lot of times ? Because my brother uses to say..
- hey, hey.. - Zayn was blushing too much - one more word and no more superheroes
- whyyyyyy ? You told me so many things about Chris! - he crossed his arms and made the cutest mad face
- I won't let Zayn take your superheroes from you! Cmon little boy, tell me what he said - I put him in my lap
- only if Zayn leave the room..
- nah nah little boy, I'm going to stay right here and hear everything!
- and my heroes ?
- I won't touch on them!
- promise ? - he gave him his little finger
- promise!
- Chris! Zayn told me that you love popcorn with chocolate and when I saw him crying on my room, I used to brought him that so he could miss you less! Oh oh and he wrote you letters, they are in that box!
- okay, okay..this is enough. Thank you mr know everything, out of my room, go play with your superheroes - Zayn picked him from my lap and put him outside.
" he said that you and him used to draw together too! " Cameran kept talking to us from the other side of the door. I don't know if I should ask him anything or I should wait, I don't know if I should go there and kiss him or I should wait for be kissed.
- i am sorry for this.. - he said, standing up against the wall.
- it's..alright.
- you want to read them, don't you ?
- yes but if you don't want to show me..I understand.
- no. I will give you! I mean, it was for you, so you have the right to read everything.

Zayn walked to the big black box next to the wall, his hands were kinda shaking when he put it in bed.
- here you go, there's dates and everything you need to know..
- thank you Zayn but hey..stay right here okay ?
- I won't go anywhere..until you ask me.
- I will never do that.
- read babe..

I picked the first one, there were like 40 papers together that I wanted to read it all.

18 February 2013
2 am and 20 minutes

   I am here. I just arrived at home from a bar, the first time I visited in Los Angeles, a stupid name like Rooftop. I drunk too much, I smoked too much, I heard too much, I saw too many girls dancing over me..I tried to think that you were one of them but I couldn't. You would never be compared to a little star when you are my whole sun.
I miss you Christine..where are you ? Are you okay ? Are you feeling happy ? I just want to love you and let you know that everyday of my life. Where are you ? Can I scream your name from my window and you come here ? Can I see ? Can I hug you ? Just for one more last time.
Can I make you smile while we are watching the stars from our windows ? Can I make you laugh by saying the silliest jokes ? Can..you be mine ? Just for one more time.

I need you.
Zayn x

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