Today I think

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Today I think
Ive droped gust a bit more
So close but yet so far
To what I hold the most
I think of all these people
All these places
The days that have gone by so slow
I take in every moment
Because soon it all will be gone
I can no longer hold onto
To the thin rope I had
I can see beneath my feet
The storms still raging on
The waves beneath me awaiting
For me to finialy fall
Because they have pushed me
Further than ever before
I used to have the thick strands
Grasped so tightly
I was so close to geting out
But once again I've ben pushed off
And forced to hold these strings
For years I've held on
Im teird of this never ending cycle
I gust wanted one love
To pull me out of this hell
But im only sent deaper every time
Im losing everything
I can no longer hold onto anything
My life is falling apart before me
I will lose my father to soon
He will never realize who he was
My grandfather gust as my father
Is wasting away before me
My grandmother is falling apart
And I gust have to watch it all
I cannot stop my sisters adiction
Nor the chaos caused to my heart
Because I cannot let go
I have to watch everywon go
I cannot do a single thing
To save my father , but only hope
That il find the real him
Not the insane drunken man
To hope my grandmother
Can last gust awhile longer
So that I may hold her close
To say im sorry , that I
Wont be to far behinde them all
Because I could never stop this
I cant make this stop , because
Theres no hope
No hope for my father
He's poisoned and sick
Sick from his adictions and liquor
No hope for my sister
Because I couldnt stop her
From taking those drugs and pills
No hope for my gradfather
Because time cannot be stoped
No hope for my grandmother's
Because I cannot save there lifes
So I must sit and watch
As the earth quakes beneath me
To watch it all fall apart
Because I cannot handle the presure
Not even you could hold me up
But you only let me fall
So that I could join them
Six feet under the dirt and ash
I wont say goodbye to them
But only that I love them
And that id see them soon
Because in reailty I wont be far
Behinde there fate
Today I think of everything
Before I lose it all


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