The truth i hold

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The truth I hold
took years to unfold
locked up and never told
Now I speak, for I am done being weak. 
A story I will tell, awakening these pits of hell
Pinned against the ground
Tongue against my chest, you can imagine the rest. 
Touching, feeling, my eyes rolling to the ceiling. 
I push away, forced down, I am here to stay and pray
Day and night, i lay awake
Crying, weeping,while your sleeping 
Why was I left with this demon
Fed to a monster within him  dragged off the edge by the strings of my hair
No one cares about you he said cutting my wrist wishing I were dead. 
He's right, you see, all this time no one gave a damn about me. 
A puppet I am to him, dangling from limb to limb. 
The years pass on by, I have no tears left to cry. 
I escaped this hatred
Visits became less and less, I'm starting to grow up a mess
Drinking here, smoking there, my life is hard to share here
Making friends with the worst
Every day that goes by
I feel ashamed and disgraced
I tried to share my story to them
But all they wanted was my lust
Met a boy, come to find out I was just his toy
I wanted to help his soul
instead I paid him a toll
my body was his to throw away always leaving with a trace
Left in harm's way
wasted away with nothing to feel
Wandering the streets alone
It was you who hurt me
No respect for myself or body
Drinking galons to wash it away
Why should I care about my life
I go carving myself with a knife
Blood dripping down my thighs your hatred fills me like a high
All numb, can't feel a thing
I am not dead
Just hanging by a thread
The ambulance speeding so fast, all I can see is a movie of my past
All stitched up ready to go
Thrown into this bed i lay in
Here I go this life I lead to know Take a seat and watch the show
Crying for their eyes to see
Please God set me free
A man took my soul that day
My eyes sparkled full of fright
He was addicted to my screams
Leaving me in the cold ground Dreaming I was in safe arms
Touched and abused was i
Just so he could feel his highs
Smoke filled air from my lips
This smell is hard to bear
Watching his hand strike
The months passed on by
Still living my past as a lie
I did survive this life
I have now retired my knife
Scars still there to bare
people look at them and stare 
I am sad at times
Full of my past and present
Smiling to all, putting my hands out, breaking my fall. 
I would like to share my voice
Maby it could help release the rest

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