Chapter 62: Feelings On Hold

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Charlotte's Point of View

"Thanks so much for letting me stay here, Lindsay...I needed this break from everything, especially from Michael" I say as I take a sip from my Hot Chocolate

"You're welcome, is no problem with me and the kids really like you. I just feel sorry for you."

"I know," I sigh out "I just want to get away from him, he really got me mad...And is just, I'm so damn done with him right now..."

"Don't tell me you're going to divorce him.." Lindsay says

"Uhh, I don't want to divorce him, I love him but I just don't want the kids to grow up without a mother or a father, you know?"

"Yeah, I know..." Lindsay says as she takes a sip from her cup "Look, Brian left me this note before he left for his trip..."

Lindsay shows me the note and it says: There isn't any word or number that describes how much I love you...

Aww, that's the sweetest thing, but, I just feel like crying again..

"Why won't Michael write me stuff like that?" I say as I start crying "Am I really that bad of a person?"

"No, No, No.." Lindsay says as she hugs me "Your a great person, and, I know you and Michael have had a hard time, but, I know deep down he loves you..."

"He used to write me stuff like that, but now, is always work, work, work...I want my old Michael back, the one that I fell in love with.."

"I know, girl..I know"

The doorbell rings...Who could it be?

"I'll get it!!" I say as I stand up and walk towards the door...

I open the door and, Surprise...Is Michael, Great *says sarcastically*

"What do you want?" I say as I roll my eyes and lean on the doorframe...

"Baby..." He says as he touches my tight...

I smack his hand "Don't touch me!!" I say as I go outside and close the door so Lindsay won't hear our conversation, Because she can be nosey...

"What do you want, Michael?" I say as I tap my foot on the ground impatiently..

"I want you to come back home, I'm sorry...I didn't mean to make you mad, please just come back home...I need you beside me on our bed, and I need you badly.."

"Oh.." I laugh "So now you come and say sorry for everything you said and have done to me?...Hmm...That's a good one, Michael. You always make me laugh..."

"Is not a joke!!" Michael says "I do need you and I do love you, I am sorry I work a lot, and I will make it better, I swear...Just please come back home..."

"Nope," I say "Michael, I need a break from you...What you said and done really hurt me deep down...I will stay at Lindsay's house tonight, and tomorrow I will come back home..But, I'm just coming back home to see and be together with my children, I'm not coming home for you, I'm coming home for my children..And the only goddamn reason I'm not going to divorce you is because I don't want my children to grow up without you, because is really hard for a child to grow up without a mother or a father..."

"Honey, I love you...I love you more than my own life...Please forgive me! You know damn well I can't sleep without you..."

"Well," I say "Maybe you would've thought of that sooner before you said all of those hurtful things to my face...You're sleeping alone tonight, Michael...I gotta go...Goodnight..."

"Goodnight, Baby...I love you..." He says as he kisses my cheek and my belly and leaves...

I sigh and close the door and sit on the ground...I rub my belly and feel my baby kicking...Oh god, What if it's kicking because it needs Michael?...No, This baby can't be kicking for him, This baby has to know that Michael hurt me, and that's final...

"I'm sorry, honey.." I say rubbing my belly "But one day you'll understand what I'm going through right now.."

"Charlotte?" I hear Lindsay say from the kitchen "Where are you?"

I stand up and go to the kitchen "I'm here..."

"What did Michael say.." She says

"Nothing, It is all messed up...I'm sleeping here tonight...Is just, I can't even explain it to myself.."

"I'm sorry, girl, I really am...I think you should go to sleep, think of the baby...He or she needs to rest and so do you..."

"I guess you're right, Lindsay...*yawns*...Goodnight..."

"Goodnight.."

*Next Day*

I couldn't sleep all night...I just kept thinking about what's been going on lately, and I even cried a little bit...I just feel like My Feeling Are On Hold.

I'm already packing to go back home, I can't wait to go and see Sarah and Daryl...But, I don't know how I'm going to hide my anger towards Michael..

I get in my car and drive to my house...After 10 minutes of driving I pullover at my driveway...

I get out of my car and walk up my porch, before I open the door...I sigh.

I open the door and find the twins playing in the living room...

"Mommy!!" The twins say excitedly as they come running to my arms "Where were you, Mommy?"

"Hey babies.." I say as I kiss their foreheads "I was just at the store..."

"Oh okay, Mommy!!" The twins say as they go to their rooms to play...

"Honey!!" Michael says as he hugs me from behind...

I take his hands and make them ungrip my waist "Don't touch me, Michael..."

He sighs "When am I going to be able to touch you again?...You don't know how long I have cried just because I missed you so much..."

"You cried, for me?" I say as I start laughing "Oh, Michael...I've cried even more for everything you've said and done to me...I'm just tired..." I say as I sit on the ground and cover my face from crying...

Michael sits beside me on the ground and holds me...

"Don't touch me, Michael..." I say...

But, Michael doesn't stop holding me...

"I said...Don't touch me, Michael..." I scream...

"I don't care how much you scream at me, I will not stop holding you...I love you so much and I missed you so much..."

"Michael, No..Not now, I'm mad at you...Stop.." I say as I get up "I can't do this anymore..."

"Charlotte..." Michael says as he follows me into the kitchen "Talk to me...What's going on.."

"No, Michael...I can't even explain it to myself, how am I going to explain it to you. Just, leave me alone for a little while, please..."

"But--"

I grab his face and kiss him, Oh god, I missed his lips so much...

"Please, just leave me alone for a little while..."

Michael looks so shocked, I think is because I kissed him...But, I just needed a kiss from him..

"Okay, baby...If you need anything, just tell me.."

"Alright, thanks for understanding, Michael.."

(To Be Continued)


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