Book of Random Thoughts

Personal Chapter

So there is this kid in school. His name is Ben. He's my abuser. I wanted to tell some of the things he's done to me and why they effect me so much. You can skip this chapter all you want. I'm writing this done for a refuse later on. 

Well one thing he does is act like my friend when he really isn't. This drives me insane! You don't even like me! So why would you think that we were friends? With some of the things I'm about to write, you'll understand why I don't want him around. 

Here's a fact about me: I hate when people shove things in my face. It make me uncomfy and makes me just want to punch the person in the face. I'll put things to my face, and if you ask me first, than I'll be okay with it. Yet if you just push it in my face and make me look at something, I'm not going to be happy. You know what Ben does all the time? He puts his phone only a few centimeters from my face. If I move forward, my nose will be touching the phone! Ever heard of personal space? 

We also had a class together where he was the only person who sat by me. So if I was trying to do something since it was pretty much a free period, he would make it nearly impossible. I usually doodled around in that class, so if he wanted me to do something that I didn't want to do, he would tell me it was more worth it than those 'dumb drawings' that I did. 

Also if I didn't like something he did, whatever I was stupid and was pretty much told to like it even though I didn't. If I liked something he didn't, it was stupid. It made me feel trapped in a box even though I knew I didn't have to like anything I didn't want to. Yet he kept going on and on about. If I liked something he did, he kept going on and on and made me start to not like it. 

This is what really gets me. He says he's my friend, but he doesn't really care about me. Once we were in biology and my friend was going to mess with me and slide in the chair I was sitting in. Well he went a little to fast and knocked me out of the chair. Him and my other friend felt really bad. Yet Ben said he saw it coming. So when my friend Rikki asked why he didn't tell me, he told her that he didn't really care. If something happens to me, he'll end up laughing at me. 

He also makes fun of me a lot. If a joke is open to make fun of me, he'll take it. He won't ever let me have a little peace. If I say something, he'll make a really stupid joke about it. Here's a story for you all. Once he got bored and looked up my name. Well a bunch of middle age women came up. I'm only sixteen. So he looked at me than at the females and laughed, saying they looked prettier than me. I know I'm not much of a looker, and I don't want to be mean to those woman, but I think I was at least a little prettier than them. Everyone I asked had to agree that Ben was way out of line and should say sorry. Here's what he said: "I don't have to say sorry for the truth." 

People keep telling me that I should be nicer to Ben and give him a chance. I think I might just start showing them this chapter. I shouldn't have to be nice to a guy who keeps reminding me of my flaws and makes me nervous because he does things that make me uncomfy. I shouldn't have to be nice to him. I just wish I could get away from him. Yet I keep getting unlucky and I keep getting classes with him. 

Peace out my Stars!