Lost Alpha

Zee's POV July 27, 2024

His body radiated heat and his breath was moist as he pushed the words out through the tears. Staring at the ceiling I felt my body become heavier with every sentence. The words he used to describe himself made me turn my head into the soft plushy pile we had sunk into, to hide my wet gasps. My little beautiful kitten, my heart, my light, my beloved. Why were you like this?

Listening to Nhu I realized I had no clue as to what he had been going through. It never once occurred to me that he would be so affected by the changes pregnancy had made to his body. I needed to see his face while he talked to me, to better understand him, and I tried adjusting our bodies so I could see his face while he spoke, but he clung to me like a little Koala and mewled.

"I can't say this if I'm looking at you.", Nhu said.

I didn't speak and resumed my stroking of his hair and back. Letting him get used to my hands on his body in a way that was not sexual. Like how ancient tribes used to tame elephants. They would burn incense, sing, talk, and touch the gentle beasts all night long until they were no longer afraid of humans. The idea that Nhu feared my touch troubled me and I was determined to turn this around.

What Nhu shared with me, broke my heart. Immediately I wanted to explain, to rid him of the notion that I did not find him desirable. Prove to him that my longing for him had remained steadfast. Tell him how I felt even more in love with him now that we had a child. How my alpha urged me to impregnate him again and how turned on I was by the idea. His smell, his ripe figure all the changes he despised, were such a turn on to me.

The idea that I would no longer have to restrain my passion was electrifying. He was no longer that tender delicate virgin. He was now a seasoned omega. There was so much I wanted to explore and do to him...

Nhu quieted, he had said his peace, and I could tell by how still his body was that he was frightened to know how I reacted.

I continued stroking him, letting my hands linger where they wanted.

"Kitten, I had no idea this was how you felt. I am so sorry all this time you were alone with these thoughts. I wish you would have told me sooner. The way you feel is valid because they are your thoughts and feelings. But you have made assumptions about me, baby. Your fears about how I feel since you had Star, are...I think it would be easier if I just showed you. Is that okay, Kitten?"

Instead of answering me, Nhu kept his face hidden in my chest like a child and I felt his heart hammering like a terrified bird against my chest. I felt something spasm inside of me and for a few seconds I couldn't breathe.

I wanted to show my mate the answers to his fear in the best way alphas knew how to communicate, by making love to him and worshipping his body. But right now, his love language and mine were not communicating well and I feared my actions would be misunderstood and not do justice to my true feelings.

"I am going to open up the bond as much as I can. So, you can feel what I feel and see what I see. Okay?"

I felt Nhu's breath catch. It was a big deal for me to do this, but that was how confident I was.

"Okay.", Nhu said.

"I want to look at you. Can I do that?", I asked.

Nhu rubbed his face into my chest and crawled up my body to nuzzle into my neck. Making little purring noises as he got the pheromones he craved. When he was sated, he slid off me. I inhaled letting his sweet odor fill me and steady me. Then I turned towards him and pulled him into my embrace and brought his face even with mine.

At first, Nhu struggled to meet my eyes. His ears turned bright red and there was a healthy rosy tint to his cheeks and what I could see of his chest. This did nothing to keep me calm and since I was not restraining my reactions to him, I was erect and bobbing against him in seconds.

His mouth made a little o and Nhu grabbed a long furry pink pillow and wedged it between us. Peaking over the edge of the pillow, all I could see were his round eyes that looked like sweet boba balls and his shiny black hair.

Without warning I opened the bond for Nhu and waited for him to reciprocate. When I felt Nhu was here, or was I there, it was very hard to tell, I gave my alpha liberty to communicate.

"You are MINE omega. My mate. You gave me a pup. You are a perfect omega. I want to bite you and knot you and make more pups. I won't hold back any more omega. You are a true omega now. Now you can handle your alpha."

I felt Nhu's confusion, so I showed him. The night we first made love and all the times we did after we were reunited, and Nhu was pregnant. Every time, I held back. I had to. His body was not ready to accommodate my true alpha. Only an omega who has born children, a true omega could handle an alpha. It is why alphas have a pregnancy kink. It is why we desire our omega's more after birth than before birth. Only then can our carnal cravings be met.

There was something about giving birth that marked an omega and made them better able to handle their alpha. It was as if their bodies matured and transformed into the perfect vessel. A true omega did not need the prep work they did before to receive their alphas. The birthing process had permanently loosened them. In return, their internal muscles were stronger and their ability to control them bordered on mythology. Even their slick smelled and tasted better. Like a fruit at the peak of harvest.

The very best part was a true omega's stamina increased and their sexuality matured. Nhu would last longer and be able to take more. Nhu's omega would be more in sync with my alpha and would contribute more to our sex play. Sex with a mated omega after a baby was what alphas dreamed of.

The moment I realized Nhu was pregnant, one of my first thoughts, after the shock and awe, was about the sex, I could have with Nhu after our pup was born. That was why today was so special. I could not wait to show Nhu what we could do together. The heights we could achieve.

The idea that I would be repulsed by Nhu was unfathomable. I had been fantasizing about this day since I transitioned into an alpha. As far as I was concerned it was the pinnacle of sex.

Sensing a change, I returned my focus to the here and now and saw the pillow Nhu had clutched to his chest had been cast aside. And Nhu, still looking me in the eye, was pressed against me purring. Not the same tempo and frequency he had when he was getting scented but an excited anticipatory hum that made me rumble in response.

Raising an eyebrow I asked, "Do you have any more questions? Tell me what I can do to convince you?"

I already knew the answer, the bond was open after all, but I could not help wanting to hear it.

"I want you to fuck my brains out, Alpha."

OMFG, I almost came right then and there.

"As you wish.", I said.