Lost Alpha

Event January 26, 2024

It is 3:00 AM. I am in a wheelchair waiting with Mom and Dad at the Hospital's employee exit. Mom has me bundled up because it is cold and wet outside. We are waiting for Max. He rented a car and is coming to get us. We go straight to our safe house from the hospital. Mom and Max got the house ready for us. Film is already there.

"Are we early?", I ask.

"No sweetie. Max will be here any minute.", Mom says.

"It feels like we are characters in a movie. None of this feels real.", I say.

Mom and Dad laugh softly but it does not reach their eyes. We are all worried.

I hear Max before I see him. The ground is wet, and I can hear the wheels splashing through puddles. Dad steps out to talk to Max. He waves at us to come over. I am feeling hypervigilant and suspect Panich spies could be camouflaged amongst the employee cars. I strain to see into vehicles, but it is impossible to see past their dark windshields.

Standing, I make my way to the plain white SUV Max rented. I am so busy trying to spot danger that I step in a puddle and my foot is immediately soaked. I don't stop or say a word. I feel exposed. It is ridiculous. No one knows I was discharged, but I cannot help worrying that the Panichs have people waiting to report and follow us.

It is a 30-minute drive to the house. We don't see many cars on the road at this hour. I lean my head against the cold window watching the reflection of lights on the wet road. I don't recognize where we are when Max turns off onto a small road. There are no streetlamps. Only the headlights of the car illuminate the road. I see the shapes of trees. I recognize some of them as pine trees. We pass small streets that I assume lead to homes. Then we reach our street and Max turns right onto an even smaller road. We bounce and rattle on this little road and everyone looks at me.

I smile, to let them know I am okay.

We pull up to a house. I cannot really see what it looks like in the darkness. Max parks but leaves the car running.

"Wait here.", Max said.

He walks in the direction of the house. I see light shine when the door opens. Two figures come to the car to help. Max, and Film. Film opens my door and waits. He never comes into my personal space. I am hesitant though. I can't help it.

"It's okay sweetie. It's Film. He wants to make sure you get his pheromones, so he is going to be around you a lot at first. You can get out when you are ready."

Everyone is looking at me, waiting. They are not pressuring me, but making everyone stand in the cold is its own kind of pressure. Film offers me a hand, but I cannot make myself take it. He is not Zee.

"Sorry.", I whisper.

Film shakes his head.

"It's fine.", Film says.

I get out of the car and shut the door. Film douses me with the pheromones I need, and I can breathe a little better. Mom comes around and walks with me up the steps to the door.

It is warm and cozy inside. Nothing fancy, but the house has everything that we need. The place smells like Film. Poor Mom and Dad. They are going to suffocate here. Mom takes me to my room.

"Dad and I are right next to you. That door there is Film's room."

She points to a door further down the hall.

"You have a private bathroom in your room. We can look around the house tomorrow. Are you going to be, okay?"

I hold my kitten plushy to my chest and nod.

"Alright honey, goodnight. I am going to let you sleep in. Come downstairs when you are ready. I will make you something to eat."

"Thank you, Mom."

She takes my hand and pats it. Then leaves. I open the door to my room. There is a queen-sized bed. The sun film gave me is on the bed and in a corner next to the bed is my nest from home. Mom did her best to arrange things the same. She must have taken pictures because it looks accurate.

My fingers twitch to get in there and arrange everything, but I am too tired. I don't even wash up or brush my teeth. I crawl under the covers that smell lightly of Film and immediately fall asleep.