Lost Alpha

EVENT February 5, 2024

Dr. U came to see us. She does not like that I am sleeping all the time and that my energy is so low. She did the exam in my bedroom.

"This is second-gender psychology related. NuNew you are too fixated on Zee.", Dr. U says.

I know what she is trying to say. I am keeping Film at arm's length. Everyone thinks the worst and they do not think Zee is coming back anytime soon. They keep urging me to allow Film to show me affection, but I am afraid Zee will reject me if I do. So, I push Film away.

"I have my mom and dad with me so what do I need him to do except give us his pheromones."

I know I sound ungrateful, but the guilt. It would be different if this was for Strawberry, but it's not. It's for me.

Dr. U took me to stand in front of the mirror.

"Look at yourself. Really look.", Dr. U says.

I barely recognize myself. I am gaunt, my skin looks grey, and my hair is dull. Even my nails are splitting and breaking.

"You're too thin, and weak. You may not be getting worse, but you are not getting any better. An omega needs more than pheromones when they are pregnant. You need affection, and care."

"I have Mom and Dad. They give me all the affection and care I need."

"Does this look like the body of a healthy omega?", Dr. U asked.

She pointed at my reflection in the mirror. I shake my head. I looked like I walked off the set of a horror movie.

"Your parents cannot give you what you need, but Film can. He is a compatible alpha, and he can trigger hormones in your body that will help you flourish. I know you resent it. You always have, but you cannot change the symbiotic relationship between alphas and omegas without hurting yourself and your baby."

"If you make it to the birth, it will be the most difficult experience of your life. You're nothing but skin and bones, child. Where are you going to find the strength, you need when you go into labor? You need to accept this alpha. No one is asking you to mate or be intimate. We are asking you to let him take care of you."

My face feels hot, and my eyes burn. I take a deep breath. I don't want to lose it in front of Dr. U.

"Zee will reject me. He will hate me if I let another Alpha touch me."

Dr. U looked down and bit her lip. Taking my hands in hers she spoke gently. I knew what she was going to say, and I did not want to hear it. I tried to pull my hands away, but she hung on.

"He's not here NuNew. I don't know why, and I am not going to sit here and speculate. The fact is Zee is not here and you are about to start the second half of your pregnancy. You have waited long enough. It is time to live for yourself and Strawberry."

But I sent him the letter. He will be here soon. Why is everyone giving up? Tears roll down my cheeks. The pressure in my head is unbearable. I try and rub some of the tension away.

"I can't. I can't make myself do this. I'll do anything else. I will eat whatever you tell me to. I will exercise, or never leave the bed. I will talk to a therapist. I will give up sugar. Please don't ask me to do this."

"NuNew, I don't think you understand the danger you are in. This apathy and depression can land you in the hospital too. What if you drop?'

"I thought omega's drop when they are extremely scared or in pain. If I was going to drop, wouldn't that have happened a month ago?"

"Quit arguing with me you stubborn child. Omegas can drop from extreme sadness, abandonment, and depression. If the feeling is intense enough, they can drop. And if you cannot recognize it yourself, then I will tell you."

"You are hiding out in a house with your family and a strange alpha because the Panichs want to take your baby. Your alpha is missing, and no one knows where he is. You and your child's health are at risk, and you may not survive to give birth."

"You are an omega in distress and this exhaustion you're exhibiting is a hallmark symptom before an omega drops. So, unless you want me to cut Strawberry out of your unconscious body in 20 weeks, get your shit together."

I never imagined something I deemed as histrionics could happen to me. If I drop, there is no telling how long I will remain in that state. I would be like a vegetable.

"What can I do? Tell me what to do."

"Let's call a family meeting and discuss it. Does that sound okay?"

Tonight, I will let Film wash and dry my hair. I will try.