Lost Alpha

Email January 7, 2024

To: Zee Pruk Panich

From: NuNew Charawin Perdpiriyawong

Re: Week 13

Hello,

Strawberry is 13 weeks now and is doing great. See ultrasound below. Strawberry is starting to look like a real baby, don't you think? I wonder when I will start feeling the baby move. I read that it feels like gas at first because they are so little.

I can't wait to meet Strawberry. I wonder so much about this little life that I am making in my body. Will they look like you or me? Who will they take after? I hope they are calm like you. A nice calm child sounds good to me.

I was a tornado when I was little. Mom thinks it's only fair if I have a little tornado too. You're my mother! You are not supposed to wish that upon your child. LOL

I was looking at pictures of the Sahara Desert today, wondering what your life must be like. You really are in the middle of nowhere. All the pictures I found are of endless sand and sky. You are in one of the few places left on earth that is unreachable by modern technology.

I guess it was not that long ago that people did not have cell phones or the internet. They only had landline phones and payphones. I don't think I have ever seen a payphone before.

The situation you and I are in now must be something like life was then. I asked my dad about it, and he said I make his youth sound prehistoric. Well, Dad, you are in your 50s so....

When my dad courted my mom, they must have had to wait all the time for everything. They arranged to meet places in advance and showed up. They wrote letters instead of texts. Mom found all of Dad's love letters and showed them to me.

But they were used to that. We are not. I find waiting to hear from you to be unbearable.

Hia, I need to tell you something. Dr. U told me that the pregnancy was draining my body and that if I did not do something soon, my and Strawberry's health would be at risk. She gave me a few options.

I am trying to make choices that have the least risk to Strawberry and have the best chance of success. I started hormone therapy today. It is a chemical replacement for the pheromones we would get naturally from you. The medicine will help Strawberry, and there is very little risk for the baby. Omegas who get pregnant with a beta use this medicine too. It has been around for a while and is very safe for the fetus.

I am starting to get scared Hia. Scared that something is going to go wrong with the pregnancy. What do I do if the hormone therapy does not work? I don't have many options after that. I really need you alpha. I don't care anymore about how you left without a word. I no longer have the energy to worry if you want us or not. I am only thinking of Strawberry now. I don't want to lose our baby.

Until you join us, I will continue to do my best to take care of myself and Strawberry. I will continue to try and find you. Sorry about the emotional outburst. I thought about deleting it, but you are a big boy.

Have you been looking at the stars? I go every night and think about you. Can you feel it? I don't know what the future holds for us, Hia, but I am determined to be hopeful.

Sincerely,

NuNew

Happy 13 weeks. 

Week 13 of your pregnancy is Jan 02, 2024 - Jan 08, 2024

Miscarriage risk decreases

Your baby now has unique fingerprints, and the kidney and urinary tract are completely functional, which means she's peeing. And if you are having a girl, her ovaries are already full of thousands of eggs.