Lost Alpha

Event February 10, 2024

Today is a rainy day. That means I am stuck inside all day. No nature walks. No falling asleep in the outdoor rocking chair. Strawberry is bored too. She is kicking like crazy.

We are in my nest, and I am singing her favorite whale song while I rearrange everything for the fourth time today. I have a new pillow shaped like a fluffy cloud. Dr. U brought it by yesterday. It is from James. It is like contraband being smuggled into our safe house. It passed through many hands to get to me.

I love it. Not as much as Kitty. I pick up Kitty and whisper in his ear.

"Don't worry Kitty I love you the best."

Then I go back to fussing. I can't seem to find the right spot for this squishy, silky, soft plushy. I am tempted to expand my nest, but Film's bed is in here. Pushed up against the far wall. As far away from my nest as I can possibly place him. I only have so much room between my bed and the wall and if I push my bed any closer to Film's then we will be sleeping in the same bed.

"Baby beluga, oh, baby beluga

With tomorrow's sun, another day's begun

You'll soon be wakin'

Baby beluga in the deep blue sea

Swim so wild and you swim so free

Heaven above and the sea below

And a little white whale on the go

You're just a little white whale on the go"

Then I heard the doorbell ring. I did not even know we had a doorbell. I whisper not daring to hope.

"Zee?"

I know better than to run to the door. A flashback of Gun's visit plays in my mind. Kick kick kick.

"Okay, baby girl let's go see."

I peek out my door. It's only me and Mom. Dad will be back any second and Film was doing some kind of event for work. My mom is hesitating by the door. She looks through the peephole and shakes her head. I creep to stand next to her. She starts when I touch her shoulder. 'I ask who is it?', with my eyes, and shakes her head and shrugs.

Suddenly we hear a Scratch, Scratch, sound on the door. Like a dog who wants to be let in the house. Scratch. Scratch. Mom and I both jump. What is out there, is it even human?

I look through the peephole and suck in a breath and jump back. My mom and I make eye contact. Nooooooooo. That is all that I am thinking. Mom is nudging me to tell her, but I need to check again. It can't be. I must be mistaken.

I take a deep breath and steel my will. I look through the peephole again and sure enough, it is still Janis.

My mom and I have a conversation comprised of looks, gestures, physical contact, and whispers.

"Who is it? mom asked, with her eyes.

I shake my head. Which means, "Don't answer it."

She shakes her head back at me with her brows and eyes scrunched. "Don't answer it?"

I nod my head.

She whispers in my ear. "Who is it?"

I whisper in her ear. "Janis. Zee's friend. Zee's parents want her to marry Zee."

Mom leans back and all I can say is that she screamed WTF with her whole body.

I shake my head violently.

Then we hear voices. It's Dad. I am my mother's daughter because we both run to the door and press our ears against the crack between the door and the door frame.

"Can I help you?"

"And who are you?"

"I believe I will be asking the questions here young beta."

OMG, Dad is so old-fashioned.

"I'm looking for NuNew. We are friends from college."

My mom pulls on my shirt. She wants to know are we friends from college. It's too hard to explain so I wave her away. "Later."

"There is only me and my wife here. No one named NuNew."

I can imagine her condescending smug smile as she speaks.

"Come on Mr. Perdperiyawong, we both know NuNew is here."

We heard Dad take a step. Oh. He is mad. My dad is a traditionalist who looks down on betas as inferior to alphas. He spoke in a very stern voice. With a touch of growl.

"Beta, you need to leave right now."

My mom and I are fighting to look through the peephole.

Janis takes a step back. I can hear the click of her heel. My dad takes a step forward, and they do this a few times so now Dad is between her and the door.

"I am going to count to three."

He looks her up and down then snorts.

"Make that five. There is no way you can move very fast in those ridiculous shoes in this weather. You better start hobbling down this drive to the car you parked in the middle of the road by the time I get to five."

"One."

OMG, this is the voice from my childhood. Mom and I are laughing in our hands.

"Two."

It's louder now and if she does not get moving, he will get closer and louder. Tears are running down mom's face. I shush her, but I am not much better.

"Three!"

She scurried down the wet steps with her clickety-clackety shoes. Dad followed her all the way to her car. It was a miracle she did not slip and fall. At least it wasn't raining anymore. He stood, arms crossed blocking the road leading to the house, and watched as she did a 10-point turn with her car. Dad wouldn't let her drive up to the house to turn around. He stood there until he couldn't see or hear her fancy car.

My Dad may be stuffy and old school, but he is awesome.