Chapter 72: Overthinking at its finest

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Beomgyu is making a mess for himself.

And he isn't sure if this mess is going to be easy to clean up.

Ever sinc ehe was a child, Beomgyu was always known to keep his room tidy despite the fact it was pretty much beyond his personality to do, but the truth is Beomgyu is quite a clean freak.

But that wasn't the point, the point is he's slowly messing up his friendship.

'It's simple to save, confessing is easier than you think,' a voice at the back of his mind said.

'Confess? You gotta be joking!' Beomgyu thought.

Of course it is easy in a way, Beomgyu would just open his mouth and say 'Taehyun, I like you' and it'll be all over. But that's easier said than done!

There was just something, you see, Beomgyu doesn't want to be rejected by Taehyun. Besides does the younger even like him? With all the dangers Beomgyu had put him through with all of those murder cases?

Beomgyu had long accepted that he carries trouble like it was his pet wherever he goes, and Taehyun always gets involved no matter how much he tries to not let him.

Sure it was voluntarily, sure Taehyun had done it on his own accord and volition. But that doesn't change the fact that Beomgyu wants him to be safe.

Beomgyu was no superhero, he couldn't protect Taehyun all the time. And he knows Taehyun can defend himself, but there was this overwhelming tide of protectiveness crashing inside Beomgyu's heart. All about Taehyun being safe.

Safe from the cases he came across and will come across, safe from what happened during that gala, safe from what happened at hotel Decelis, safe away from Beomgyu himself.

The overwhelming need and the want to protect Taehyun from everything that Beomgyu unwillingly has, he even wanted to keep himself away that carries all misfortune in the forms of murders. And at the same time he wants Taehyun by his side, to be by his side and to protect him from everything even though Beomgyu knows he can't.

He can't protect Taehyun from everything, he can't shield Taehyun away from all his misfortune because he himself is the form of misfortune.

Beomgyu knows that, and it's so unfair.

Because he wants to be selfish but at the same time he can't, as being selfish would mean risking Taehyun as well.

And now here he was, sitting on a bench in a park. To be honest he wasn't sure why he woke up so early in the morning (around six A.M.), it was either he wanted to get some fresh air or just. . . well he doesn't really know the other reason.

Thinking about how to manage his feelings was so tiring.

And these days, Beomgyu really just wants to be left alone.

+×+

There was something going on.

At least that's what Taehyun thinks at the moment.

Ever since they went back to school, he felt a shift in the atmosphere between him and Beomgyu as soon as they stepped inside their dorm. It was faint, but there was definitely something mixed with the usual atmosphere that Taehyun had grown so used to.

Well nothing really had changed, they were still the same when they left, but Taehyun can't deny that there was something going on. It started when Beomgyu began being quiet whenever Taehyun counters his sarcastic remarks, the older male usually scoffs or give him a counter-attack but now he doesn't which leaves an awkward silence. And he wasn't throwing his daily flirtations at him either, only stares whenever Beomgyu thinks Taehyun isn't looking. Which the older male does do but today there was something different about his gaze then the previous ones, and he couldn't point out what was so different.

But what bothered Taehyun the most is that Beomgyu seems to be avoiding him.

Usually the older male doesn't go outside their dorm during Saturdays in the morning as he was never a morning person. So imagine Taehyun's suprise when he wakes up one saturday, just two days after their field trip to Busan, he sees a note from Beomgyu saying he went out for a walk.

A walk.

At seven in the morning.

Now normally Taehyun would think Beomgyu was just trying to be productive, but he knew his roommate. When it comes to sleep Beomgyu treasures it with everything, he wouldn't dare force himself to wake up early especially when he had that math exam last friday. It was weird! Beomgyu never wakes up early, it was usually Taehyun who does that. Especially on a saturday!

Beomgyu doesn't even hug him anymore, now there was always a small but clear distance whenever they stand or sit next to each other which was never there before. And whenever Taehyun tries to get close the older male would inch away, he was trying to be discreete about it but Taehyun could see through it.

And it surely won't be an issue if the older hasn't done it every. single. day ever since they got back.

And somehow this made Taehyun's head and heart hurt so painfully as well as confused; trying to backtrack on what did he do that lead Beomgyu to behave like this, or was it something he said the previous months or something he said and didn't realized it offended the older male?

It could've been anything of these but what?

And what if it was all of these?

There was this fear creeping inside Taehyun's skin, aiming towards his chest and to his heart. He feels his shoulders turn stiff and his body feels cold. Taehyun was never one for overthinking, but at times like these he couldn't help but think so deeply just so he could find answers even when the person who knows can't even stand to be in the same room as him.

Was that it? Does Beomgyu hate him?

Does the older male find him irritating now?

Was it something he said during the field trip?

Or was it during their stay at the hotel?

Or was it during those campfire talks? Beomgyu looked at him weirdly around those times.

Or was it during the time when he saw Beomgyu all alone?

Taehyun thought it was a good idea to prank him with that water bottle, but Beomgyu looked more panicked than surprised.

But what did he do exactly? Taehyun didn't remember anything that he could've done to get such a reaction like that from Beomgyu.

Did he hurt him unintentionally during their stay at Busan? Taehyun has ransacked his brain and there was no memory of him hurting Beomgyu whether it'd be emotionally or mentally.

So then why is the older male avoiding him?

What did he do?

This questions plays constantly inside his mind as Taehyun nervously plays with his pillow, a troubled and anxious frown on his face.

'What did I do?'

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I hope you liked the chapter:)

-Ria

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