Psycho Love {Chaelisa}

38

LALISA MANOBAN'S POV

The sky is dark tonight. The cold breeze touches my skin but I didn't shiver. Rosie hoodie is hugging me close. It smells like her. I almost can feel her presence.

Moon. Rosie believe in moon power. She said moon is belong to the devil. She envy the moon in the sky always. She said to me before that if she could, she has any to fly to the moon and stay there for the rest of her life. She loves the dark structure, she love the illumination of the moon. She said, moon belongs to the strong deity.

Rosie also told me stories about moon from her believes. It was something related to dark forces that not many people in this world believe in. Just like earth, there I lots of planet existed in the outer space. Each planet has its own people from different species. She love to talk about Alien. Also, she has obsession talking about zombie.

Sun and Moon story. That is the love story between two deity that was separated for the rest of their life as a curse on their love by god the creator. It was just a story she told me but it makes sense. The lord moon is do in love with lady sun but God is jeleous with their love. Due to the strength this two hold to change to the world, God threw a curse on them. It's called Love Curse.

Love curse is something like you will still love the other person but can never touch or got near one another. Just like how the sun illuminate the sky in the daytime, moon only come when it was night time. They have different time rising up high in the sky. If one goes up, the other goes down. They came from the same direction but never appear on the same time.

The only time where god grant them the blessings to become one is when eclipse happen. It will takes lots of years for this two lover to become one. Despite anything, they still wait for every eclipse. Moon and Sun love is very admirable.

I will envy Sun and moon love because I will do the same towards my wife if I walk in their shoes. For now, our case is slightly different than the two deity but I will wait for my wife to be back. I believe, she is living out there. She is still breathing and waiting for me. The nightmares I have is just something that taunts me. I know none of them is true. They have to be Not true.

Speaking about Rosie, Jisoo has been handling all the investigation all alone. They keep me updated with their found or anything about the case. As much as I want to participate in this scary mission, I just feel scared even more to think about it. What if I found something that I am not suppose to?

But it has been almost two weeks now. It takes longer than I expected. Is Jisoo not making any progress in finding her? Should I finally meddle in this? Jisoo told me not to meddle and did everything she can to avoid me from taking my actions in this. But if it takes so long.... I can't wait that much.

True, she told me I might be leading this mission using my emotions instead of my heart. I can't deny that. Things has been going out of my hand when it comes to emotions. I just can't control it. Can anyone feel what I feel? My heart is throbbing with unbearable pain every second in every single day since I lost her. The feeling is very much the same when you have an open wound and putting salt onto it. The more the days passes, the more salt being put on the wound.

So it hurt more and more every single day. I have new cuts every day and new salts to torture me with. The cut itself hurt but the salt just making it worst.

In another word, I am pained and suffocating.

I feel suffocated of not having her here. Her absence makes me realize that she has always been my oxygen. I live because of her. I am staying here because of Rosie. I am me this whole time because of my wife. When I look back, it's true. So true that before I marry her, I am just a soulless body that live for nothing. I just work almost 24 hour every single day. I found no purpose of stopping to work and only stopped when I feel sleepy to the state I cant even control my own eyes. If I ever stopped working, I feel like I am living in this world for merely existing. It feels exhausting and empty to feel that way.

But when I finally marry her, I found my purpose. The adventure we gone through. It was so rough at first because both of us didn't really know each other. But as time passes, we get along just well. I fell in love with her unexpectedly since the first night of our wedding. I didn't know it back then. I thought it was just my fast heartbeat due to the eyes of people looking at us getting married.

My heart started to beat for her when I saw her walking down the aisle. I think, I fell in love with first sight with her that day.

I know I fell for her when I have my own special place reserved for her deep inside of my heart. I become the comfortable version of myself when she is around. We live together, sleep together and eat together. At first, I was thinking about separately sleeping. The first night, I took my pillow and intend to sleep on the couch because I thought I might get her uncomfortable for sleeping beside her. But Rosie held the pillow tightly when I pull it off. She look straight into my eyes that I melt under those stares. She don't even know what she did to me on our first night of wedding. I almost faint when she ask me to stay and sleep beside her.

Days by days going on. She is just a broken girl back then. She might be doing it well to other people by pretending but somehow, I don't know but I can feel the sorrow she hide inside of her. Lots of night she cried in her sleeps. She has nightmares calling for her mom that was already dead just recently before our marriage. She always sweats when she dream. I have to wake her up everytime she started to move vigorously on the bed.

When she woke up, she will hug me tight. She will cry and hold me so tight. Maybe that is when the unbreakable bond started to develop between us. We come to depending on each other. Rosie also started to be warm towards me for the 3rd months of our marriage.

Nothing could be more happier than having that special reserved sides of her all to myself. She is cold and emotionless when we left our home. When she is with other people, she is a different Rosie who seems so guarded and judgemental. She will judge every person personality, dresses, works and lots other more to know exactly the person natural attitude. She told me doing so can give you the ability to read their mind or what their next move are. There is two type of judging. One, for gossip. Two, for a wise purpose.

Never choose the one but take the two.

Rosie was told to be bad and cruel to other people just because she is mirroring their attitude. They call her a murderer just because she kill those sinner that threatened her life. They always judge her so brutally and hating her for nothing. If only they can see her the way I see her, they will be able to figure out the sides of her that is unique and special. She is a straight forward kind of person and she do what's right in her own way. Of course she has her bad sides but even her bad sides I believe there is reason behind it.

Everything she done or do, I believe in her.

I believe because I trust her. I have faith in her.

"Rosie" I now looking up at the dark sky. If she is somewhere out there, I hope she is looking up at the same moon to me right now. "I will find you" I promised.

I will find her. No matter what it takes, I will find her. It is time to shove away this sadness and began to work for real. It is time to use the power I have in my hand.

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