Warning: CNC- consensual non consent. They use this heavily in their relationship so don't say I didn't warn you
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~I run my hand through my hair trying to find and answer to his questions. My mind tends to go blank whenever asked about things that I deem worthy or important to me
"What does August-"
"Mercy." I correct him "her name is Mercy."
"Right, sorry. What does Mercy know about you Elijah?"
"What do you mean?"
"Like what have you told her? If asked personal questions about yourself do you think she'd be able to answer them?"
"No. I haven't told her anything. Why should I we haven't been dating that long. Two weeks can't be considered long at all."
"No, but you care for her."
"Of course."
"Then why haven't you opened up?"
"It's not that easy Rossi." I say getting frustrated "who the fuck wants to tell the girl their dating that their boyfriend is an alcoholic who smokes cigarettes to diminish the need to chug a bottle?
Who wants to tell her that I'm mentally fucked because I can't sleep without waking up in a cold sweat because I was beat my entire childhood? Huh? Oh right no one. Rossi did your grandfather lock you in a dark closet for hours until you felt like you were going insane?"
"No he didn't."
"Exactly. I deal with enough and I rather her not look at me differently because of who I really am."
He nods and writes something down in that stupid ass book. I bounce my leg continuously while biting my fingernails. I have to get out of here
"Elijah have you been taking your medicine lately?"
I roll my eyes staring at the door. "Your time is almost up. Before you decide to run out of here I have one last question."
I look at him "what?"
"Do you think you'd ever get to that point of trusting her enough to actually open up? The longer you keep hiding the more you're going to feel like nothing is getting better."
I smirk at him "I guess we'll see if she proves herself worthy of knowing my fucked up past. Don't worry you'll be the first to know if I spill on myself."
He hums and I take that as my cue to get the fuck. Leaving the room I call Addison her phone going to voicemail a few times. Eventually I give up and just walk for a while.
Some say it's not good to be in your mind so much. I say it's better then being out in the real world. Sure not everything that goes on in my mind I'd consider better but at least it's for me to deal with. Before coming to this school I never really thought about my life as anything hard. I just took it as cards that were dealt to me ones that I had to play
