Thikaana

Chapter Eleven

Sidharth returned back home, changed into his shorts after taking a long cold shower & went straight to his balcony lighting up a cigarette. He really needed some calm. His heart & mind were constantly racing. He needed it to calm down a little, he still needed to process everything and wrap his head around it. He leaned across the railing and took a long puff exhaling it out slowly. His eyes were crinkled & his face had a serious intense look, he was too lost. What had happened tonight was definitely not something he had expected, but he did not mind any of it. Was she not happy in the relationship, did she not love the guy? Hadn't she known him all her life, she had been engaged almost 2 years now, then why, and if she wasn't happy then why was she in the relationship. Her reaction, her outburst, her cries & her broken heart & exhausted face wasn't leaving his eyes. Her state definitely told him a different story, but then why. He exhaled loudly rubbing his chin with his fingers. His mind was losing it, he didn't understand any of it. The way he comforted her, the way her constant tears and cries pierced his heart, he hadn't felt a feeling like this ever. He wanted to crush her in his arms & just throw away any and everything that made her cry like that. The way his lips felt on her skin, the way she shuddered the moment his rough lips touched her, her closed eyes & sharp intake of breaths, they were causing havoc inside him. the way she tightly held on to his other hand the moment he kissed her, as if she was trying to hold on to whatever bit of him she could find. The way she instantly denied feeling bad or awkward about it even before he could complete his sentence. His lips curved a bit. He felt so different & peaceful, probably the first time since meeting her. Seeing her so broken & vulnerable today, really shifted something inside of him. he wanted to fight everything that could ever be a cause of discomfort for her. He suddenly felt too attached to her, he felt this inexplicable emotion inside of him that made him feel responsible for her and her happiness. He wanted to pull back, but now seeing her so broken, he just couldn't think straight. He now knew that there was something wrong. Maybe she had a fight with her fiancé & that caused her to say all those things? But the way she broke down, told him something else. He wouldn't let her feel that way now. He wanted to be there for her, this time not as someone who had to help her or look after her, but as someone who wanted to take care of her. He thought of giving her some time to get herself back before he would bring this topic up. He wanted her to take her own time and talk to him next whenever she wanted to.

Sana came home & instantly lied down on her bed, hugging her pillow closely. She laid down straight, staring the ceiling. Her skin kept feeling his lips. It felt her skin had burnt where his lips had touched her. The first time in the last two days, she felt so calm & light. It felt like some weight had been lifted off. She was happy that she cried & let out her anger & frustration in front of him. It felt so natural, it felt right. She lifted her hand and lightly touched her skin where he had kissed her. He had kissed her. The thought suddenly made her so shy. His lips felt so intimate. Akshay had pecked her on the cheek a few times but that hadn't felt anything like this did. This was so different, so intimate. Although it was still on her cheek, but it was so special. It was so close to her lips. What if he had gone for her lips instead? She instantly shuddered. Would she stop him? Or would she have liked it? She felt her cheeks heating up at the thought. She instantly covered her face with the pillow, trying to normalize her breathing. What was she even thinking? She knew it wasn't right, her thoughts felt so scandalous, yet it felt right. Everything he did to her felt so right. The way he calmed her down today & made her feel okay, she wanted to run into his arms and just cling to him. nothing with this man felt wrong. She wanted to be selfish for once & just enjoy the comfort Sidharth gave her. She wanted to be with him & take everything that he gave her. Her heart felt like it was constantly melting with his warmth and care. The way he freaked out seeing her outburst. She practically shouted at him twice, she gasped, but not once did he flinch. In fact, he comforted her with much more conviction. She was still so shy around him, hos aura did something to her. She wanted to let him know how special he made her feel, and how she regarded his warmth but she just didn't know how. She turned to her side and closed her eyes. She wanted to relish in the peace her heart felt today & soon dozed off.
****
Sana stretched as soon as her eyes opened. It was a Sunday today & the moment she opened her eyes, last night flashed in front of her eyes & a smile found its way to her lips. You know that feeling when someone is so nice & warm to you, when they give you so much comfort, when they make you feel so secure, that you just want to run into them? That's how she felt for him. Since the first day, he had been there for her in a way nobody ever had. Even on her first meeting, she never felt scared or uncomfortable by his presence. He exuded this comfort even back then. She picked up her phone quickly & typed away. She smiled widely after sending the text & headed for the washroom after typing up her hair in a bun.
Sidharth was watching the news with his mom, when his phone pinged. He had come to her in the morning & had already had his breakfast. His mother was massaging his head with some oil while he watched the news. He picked up the phone & seeing her name, an automatic smile came up.
Sana
Hi, good afternoon! Kese ho? I just wanted to say sorry for last night. Mene aap pe 2 baar cheekh dia na L sorry! Par last night was too much for me, I couldn't control myself.. aap naraz tou nahi ho na? Aur Sidharth? Thank you bhi kehna tha for last night. Thank you for taking care of me & my heart the way you did, aap bohat achay ho. J
His lips curved up wider as he read her text. He put his phone down & leaned his head back in his mother's lap closing his eyes. He spoke after a few minutes.
"Mom? Suno, is it okay agar mai sham mai chala jaun? I know I told you I'll stay raat tak but I'll have to go for a while. Is that okay, aap theek rahoge na?" he asked her softly taking her hands out of his head and wrapping them around his neck.
"Of course bacha. Aisay kyun pooch raha hai? Sidharth? You're going to meet Sana, aren't you?" she asked. She already knew that he was spending too much time with her. She didn't mind one bit, in fact if anything, she was so relieved seeing her son look happier and so peaceful. She only feared for him, she didn't want his heart to be broken at this age. She didn't want him to be invested in something that wasn't right. "Sidharth, bache, I know you've started caring for her, I know wo bachi choti hai aur yahan akeli hai & im so proud of you for that mere bachay, par bas thori fikar hoti hai teri. You know that she's engaged, right? Please don't get too attached meri jaan. Iss umar mai I can't see you getting hurt. Are you sure, this isn't going somewhere else?" Sidharth opened his eyes and sighed. He brought her hands to his lips & placed a soft kiss on his mother's palms. She smiled.
"I know mom. See, I don't know what it is, par haan I do really care for her. Mujhe nahi pata kya par Mom mujhe uski fikar hoti hai. Bohat choti hai wo, aur yahan akeli hai. I just want to take care of her. Mujhe apni si lagti hai wo, I have tried pulling back, par it feels as if It's not in my hands. And I don't know what exactly, par something in her relationship is not right. Trust me, mai kuch ghalat nahi honay dunga, hmm?" he spoke softly. His mother bent and placed a kiss on his forehead. "I know that mere bachay. I know you'll be good".
Sidharth
Oye, itne dramay mat kar. Koi naraz waraz nahi hoon mai. Are you up for some pau bhaji? I'll take you to my favorite place & we can go back home & have some coffee? Sounds good? Chal, get ready. I'll pick you up in another half hour.
"Hey sweetheart, kesi hai?" Sidharth smiled warmly at her & bent forward giving her a light side hug as soon as she stepped inside the car. She was wearing a black T-Shirt & blue jeans with her hair in a pony. Her face looked fresher & calmer. She had very light makeup on. She hugged him back lightly. She was suddenly feeling shy remembering his kiss. She moved back in the seat giving him a soft smile.
"How are you feeling now? Did you sleep well?" he asked cupping her cheek lightly. She nodded.
They were sitting in the car enjoying the pau Bhaji. Sidharth had brought her to his favorite place & he felt so happy seeing her enjoy it. She suddenly turned her face to look at him, her mouth was full with a bite and her voice came out unclear
"Sidharth, tthis is ssooo good, wow!!" she spoke while chewing on the bite. He chuckled at her. She was so cute. He instantly noticed something. His expression changed. She kept gobbling the food down and looked down making another bite. He lifted his hand & softly wiped the bhaaji from below her lower lip. She instantly flinched, not expecting that. She looked up at him & his gaze made her run and hide in a hole. He was looking at her so seriously, she couldn't read his gaze but it made her tingly. His thumb was so rough unlike hers. He wiped the area softly, touching her lower lip in the process. She just inhaled, trying to stay as calm as possible. He was noticing her reactions & they did something to him. he wanted to instantly pull her in his lap and slam his lips on hers. He wiped the area clean, taking his own sweet time with her and took a tissue cleaning his hands.
"You done? Chalein?" he asked her. She was still relishing his touch. She just tried smiling at him and nodded.
They entered back his apartment & it was just 8 in the evening. He kept his keys & wallet down.
"Sidharth? Thori dair jaa k balcony mai kharay ho? Itni achi hawa hai bahir. Baad mai coffee piye ge." She asked him excitedly, already moving towards the balcony. He chuckled seeing her child like excitement & nodded walking behind her. She was already ahead of him so he went in to the balcony & saw the sea in front of her. It seemed so magical. This view, he was so lucky to have this view at any hour of the day. She leaned in to the railing closing her eyes & taking in the light wind that was blowing and the sound of the sea. It was so calm, she could drown in this peace. Sidharth went inside his room first, putting his phone on charge and then walked towards the balcony. He saw her leaning on the railing, he could see how her body was pressing on the railing. She looked so thick and so hot. He gulped moving towards her. It was so quiet & peaceful there. The light wind, and the soft sound of the sea, and she standing there so peacefully, it felt surreal. He went closer & she still didn't open her eyes up. She seemed to be in a daze & he was so lost in just seeing her so peaceful. He wanted to capture it. he decided to a bit closer & stand behind her rather than next to her. He went closer & stood right behind her back, with his arms in his pockets. He smiled looking at her & then looked ahead towards the sea. He wanted to be in this moment forever. She felt him & opened her eyes. She realized he was so close to her that if she straightened up a bit, her back would almost touch his chest. She breathed in & straightened just a bit. Her back didn't entirely touch his chest, just a little bit. His warm breaths were falling on her head causing shivers up her spine. They were both quiet, as if trying to capture this peace inside of them.
"You like it here, don't you?" he asked huskily. She shuddered hearing his voice, so close, so intimate.
" A Lot" she answered back softly, still not looking back or moving. The closeness was killing her. She wanted to go hide somewhere, yet she wanted to have it all. He saw goosebumps breaking out on her arms.
"Kya hua sweetheart, theek hai? Are you cold?" he asked rubbing her arms up and down. She inhaled sharply, his touch and his closeness was doing this to her. She just shook her head.
"You stay here, I'll go make us some coffee." He said moving towards the door. He was losing his mind & if he stayed there so close to her for two more minutes, he wouldn't be able to control. She instantly turned back stopping him by holding his shoulder.
"Ruko ruko Sidharth. Aap rehne do, aaj mai apko coffee pilaun? I promise I'll make good coffee. Aap ruko yahin mai bas abhi laayi" she smiled at him. she wanted to be away, to catch her breath & get a hold of her feelings.
"You sure?" he asked looking at her. She nodded going inside. She put some water in the pan keeping it on the stove to heat up and meanwhile leaned against the counter, putting her hand on her chest. Her heart was racing. He hadn't even done anything & yet her mind was fogged with the intensity. She tried distracting herself by pulling out two mugs and put the coffee & some water in it, beating it. she kept beating it vigorously, trying to brush off his effect on her. When she had beat it enough, and the water had boiled, she took the pan carefully pouring water in one mug. She kept it aside & started pouring it in the second mug when suddenly her grip on the handle loosened & some of the water fell on two of her fingers that were kept on the counter.
"aahhhh, shit" she screamed quickly putting the pan away. Sidharth was smoking on the balcony when he heard her scream & quickly ran inside, throwing away the bud. He ran in the kitchen and saw her standing there holding her fingers. He almost ran towards her, panicked.
"Kya hua Sana, what happened sweetheart?" he came to her closely looking at her fingers that were now quite red. She looked up at his face, tears stinging her eyes.
"Jal gaya. Wo paani boiled than a, I was pouring it in the mug aur meri grip thori hil gayi so mere hath pe gir gaya. It stings so much" she pouted, her tears beginning to fall.
"Oh Fuck, wait let me get ice, stay here. Balke come with me, pehle let's run it under cold water, come" he spoke hurriedly taking her with him towards the sink and opening up the tap. He carefully held her hand and put her fingers under the cold tap water. The moment the cold water touched her burnt fingers, it stung incredibly. She gasped.
"Pagal hai tu kya, why can't you take care of yourself sana? You should have been careful na. Jab pata tha k pani kitna garam hai tou tightly dono haatho se pakarna chahiye tha na pan. Pagal lardi. Bari aayi thi coffee banane , khayal tou rakh nahi sakti apna" he said sternly. He was so worried seeing her red fingers. He kept running the water over her fingers till the water stopped stinging her. She pouted & her eyes filled up listening to his tone. She knew he was worried.
"Acha na, aap daant kyun rahay ho, mene jaan k tou nahi kia na. ho gaya bas." She said softly, like a baby. He sighed. She was so soft.
"Come" he closed the tap taking her towards the freezer. He took out some ice cubes and grabbed a cloth from the side putting them in it.
"Show me your hand" he said. He held her hand in his delicately and started rubbing the ice on her first two fingers. She inhaled, from the pain & his closeness. He quietly kept rubbing the ice with a serious expression. He was angry, for her. She felt good. He threw away the remaining ice in the sink and took her inside the lounge.
"Baitho yahan araamse, I'll just bring the burn bandage." He said making her sit on the sofa he went inside. She sat there like a child who was just scolded. She was biting her lower lip sucking it inside her mouth waiting for him to come back. He returned back in a few minutes, a frown constantly etched on his forehead.
"Dikhao" he said sternly taking her burnt hand in his and sitting next to her. He carefully took off the bandages and wrapped them one by one on both her fingers , pressing the ends securely so that they don't come off. She just kept sitting looking at him, how was he so good. She was lost in his beautiful face, she wanted to just jump in his arms and cuddle him.
"There. Hogaya, ab isko paani se bachana for at least two days. And stay away from heat". He spoke looking at her. His tone was still stern.
"Aap mujhe aisay kyun treat kar rahay ho as if I'm a baby?" she asked him scowling.
"Because you are one" he rolled his eyes. His gaze softened. He was closing the bandage box and keeping the rest of them inside when she spoke again
"Sidharth?" she slowly kept her injured hand on his wrist. He looked towards her.
"Aap itne achay kyun ho? Aap kese mera itna khyaal rakhte ho? Apko pata hai mujhe itna safe feel karate ho. I feel so.. itna apna sa lagta hai apke sath" she spoke as soft as she could, with her big eyes innocently looking at him. his breath caught in his throat. This girl will drive him insane. He kept the box away and turned completely towards her. Her hand was still on his wrist. He slowly held her hand from his other hand and cupped her cheek with the hand that she was touching. He lightly rubbed her cheekbone with his thumb & slowly brought her injured fingers to his mouth, kissing each injured finger softly, while staring at her. She suddenly shuddered inhaling a sharp breath. She too was looking at him throughout. Her gaze was so innocent, as if she was under his spell. He turned her fingers and then kissed the back side of her fingers. She closed her eyes, not being able to take his intense gaze. He put her injured hand down in her lap softly and tucked a few hair strands behind her hear.
"Sana, you are so so special sweetheart" he whispered, huskily. He brought her face closer to his by his hands and their faces were mere inches apart. The force he was holding her cheeks with caused them to squish causing a pout on her lips. he was looking at her eyes, she slowly opened them up and looked at him. he then slowly looked at her pink pouty lips & then again at her eyes. Her eyes widened the slightest bit, and her breathing got faster. He removed his hand and pressed a warm kiss to her left cheek, Sana's eyes closed involuntarily. He then pressed a soft kiss on her right cheek, looking at her.
"Open your eyes sweetheart" he whispered rubbing his thumb on her lips. she shuddered at his touch & his voice. She slowly opened her eyes. His eyes were so intense, so dark, they were piercing through hers. She didn't stop him or move away. He slightly came forward bringing his face even closer. He then cupped her face again, she was so scared.
"Relax sweetheart, breathe" he whispered, his hot breath falling on her lips. she gasped as he came even closer and suddenly he pressed his lips right at the corner of her lips. he didn't touch her lips, but his lips touched just the beginning corner of her lips. She suddenly felt she can't breathe. Her breath was stuck somewhere in her throat and her heart was racing madly. He removed his lips and pressed another hot kiss a little further away from her lips. He was constantly looking at her face for any discomfort. Her eyes were closed & as soon as he moved his lips away from the corner of her lips, she parted them the slightest bit. he finally removed his lips from her face & looked at her fully.
"Sana, are you ok? Was it..too much?" he asked her still holding her face in his hands and lightly rubbing her cheekbones. She couldn't find her voice or the courage to look at him. How could she tell him, that it felt like a hundred volts of current striking her all at once, and yet felt like the most amazing thing she had ever felt. She slowly opened up her eyes & saw him staring at her, his eyes looked serious but concerned. She just smiled the slightest bit and looked down shaking her head. His lips curved up the slightest bit.
"Come here" he brought her face closer & kissed her forehead. "You are so precious" he said.
"So are you" she finally whispered back. She removed his hand from her face and wrapped both her hands around his. She slowly bent & placed a kiss at the back side of his hand. She looked up & gave him the most precious smile ever. He wanted to wrap this girl up in his arms & not let go. He smiled back. He took her injured hand again in his hand inspecting it.
" Just rest it for the next two days, don't over exert it. you'll be okay. Do you want me to drop you back home, it's late. We'll get a painkiller on the way too. If the fingers hurt too much, ek painkiller le lena, ok?" he was back to being his caring self. She smiled at him nodding.