Thikaana

Fifty Five

Sana woke up the next morning for work as her alarm went off and broke off her deep, seamless sleep. Her eyes stirred as she tried finding the comfort she needed by trying to rub her nose and dig her face in something, rather someone. When she had no luck, she reluctantly opened up her eyes and the bed was empty. He wasn't there. She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand to wake up fully and to make sure whether he was actually not there or she was still sleepy. Sana frowned as she fully woke up and looked around.

The bed was actually empty, so was the room. Why was he up so early in the morning and where was he? She lifted her neck up slightly and looked towards the bathroom, but that too seemed empty. Her frown deepened as she sat up in bed and tied a lose bun stifling a yawn. She picked her phone up and it was around 7:30. She was about to call him and as she opened her mouth to do so, she remembered last night and instantly shut her mouth. She remembered how they were perfectly talking their hearts out and how he was soothing all her fears and concerns so perfectly with his love and his words when suddenly something happened. He was right on top of her kissing her when he just stopped, just like that. Sidharth had never done something like this before, ever. In all the five and a half months she had known him, there had been a lot of times, especially initially where he would remember Akshay and their current situation and his mood would go down the drain and he would often not initiate any kind of intimacy but he hadn't ever stopped in the middle like this.
Sana woke up and wore her slippers lazily, still deeply in thoughts of Sidharth's behavior from last night. She desperately wanted to first go out and look for him and see if he was okay but her bladder wasn't allowing her to go out so she had to go to the washroom first.

There was this unsettling and low feeling inside her chest because of his sudden change last night. The thing was that Sidharth had become this person for her over these months who was everything for and to her. he was literally her home. The home she had never known, so him being there with her and being okay with her made her world alright. So the thought that something had probably ticked him off or upset him was not okay with her. She kept playing the whole conversation and everything about last night in her mind as she did her morning ritual in the washroom. She kept thinking everything she had said to him about Nisha, everything he had said and told her in return, how he had explained her everything. Then she also thought of earlier that night and how he seemed completely unbothered regarding the whole Akshay comment as well. In fact he was the one who was cheering her up too. so then what bothered him suddenly? Why did he back off like that? The stopping wasn't bothering her, the reason was bothering her.

She couldn't deny the fact that him moving away like that did upset her. She wasn't really expecting him to go the sex road as such, she knew they were both tired and he hadn't even mentioned any such thing so she knew they weren't going to do the main deed but she was in the mood for some loving. She had hoped for some make out so when he just left her like that, all hot and heavy, it had suddenly disappointed her. She was so in love, so happy and fuzzy with love, desire and an absolute overwhelming need for him at that point, that when he suddenly pulled back like that and told her to sleep, it felt like someone just gave her her facvorite candy after making her wait the whole day, and just when she was about to bite in to it, someone pulled it out from her hands. She wasn't angry at him because she knew that if he pulled back like that, knowing what she wanted at that point, there had to be a good reason for it and that was what was bothering her, the reason. What could it be? He was perfectly alright before that. As she splashed some cold water on her face, her thoughts again went back to Akshay. Maybe whatever Nisha said, it had somehow affected Sidharth, even if he wasn't showing it to Sana.

Maybe he suddenly remembered him and everything Nisha said and pulled back? She felt an unwanted surge of anger towards Akshay and this new problem, Nisha. She wasn't really a problem as such, especially now when Sidharth had so clearly explained to her their exact dynamic but still she ended up bothering Sana by speaking about that one topic that was still very much a problem in between them. Sana sighed loudly as she wiped her face dry with the towel and looked at herself in the mirror. She had to go out and look for him. she couldn't bear the thought of him being angry over something anymore. She needed him.

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